Tuesday, October 24, 2017
N,S
-I like the South. The ladies blame their sexual frenzies
on the Devil.
-And what do Northern women blame THEIR…?
-Blame?
-They're...proud then?
-When they bother.
Labels: devil, frenzy, North, sex, South
Thursday, November 10, 2016
The Legal Compact
with the Confederate Army finished,
I, the slave of a Deacon, was given the
agreed-upon stipend, and, as a bonus,
my own slave.
He will not malinger, nor miss Church.
Labels: Church, Civil War, Confederate, Deacon, slave, Slavery, South
Wednesday, June 08, 2016
The Movement
the Work For Nothing Movement.
Most wonder why it doesn’t stop, though,
since practitioners have made their point
of absolute freedom from unions and
interfering laws.
Many had no money going in, and
they’ve died for the cause, Southern
Legislatures declaring them heroes
and martyrs.
Remainder not listening, either, to the
merciful car manufacturers proposing
half the going rate for Pakistan.
No money desired. None! Thus, no
charity either!
Man and women of principle have
always shamed the rest of us!
Labels: Martyrs of Right, pay, pay scale, perverted principles, Race to Bottom, South, Southern Labor
Tuesday, February 23, 2016
When It’s Christmas-Time Down South
“Show a little pantie, Auntie!”
“Quench it! You whole damn lot of sex fiends!”
So...she left with an uninvited one.
‘Crusher the Crasher’ later married into
another, decidedly lower, branch of our
family.
Professors should study to affirm it’s human.
Labels: Christmas, Down South, Family, low branch, old maid, party, South, Southern Sex
Wednesday, July 29, 2015
Calling CSPAN ,
the morons, fre-
quently Southern,
never shy. Grand Old
Parity there. A favor
to us Eastern Brilliances,
who’d not hear such drivel
otherwise. We do require
each other: the dazzling
threads of our coherence
next to...to...?
Labels: CSPAN, Eastern, Ignorant South, moron, South, Southern
Thursday, February 19, 2015
The Nose on Your Ear
-Well, paid all my bills except the one.
-Run outa checks?
-Nope. Lost it.
-Call up! Ask them how much, etcetera.
-Don't remember who they is!
-If you was a company, you flop!
-Ah, but not before firing half the workers.
-Go on!
-Eliminating all vacations and overtime!
-Bingo!
-And then cutting the wages of the remaining
terrorized in half!
-Capitalism is one slicing marvel! Is the Big
Boss done?
-Raids the pension plan.
-Where you been? They’s gone long ago! Replaced
by IRAs, or THE WALL STREET BONANZA GOUGE.
-No matter, for now that he's whipped you into
submission, you're the chief selling-point
when he unloads to a competitor.
-Another Republican?
-Mais oui! What else?
-I can get ALONG with this new guy!
-First one fired!
-Too bad. I came close to working for nothing!
-That's the perfection they're aiming for.
They call it the Right To Work For Nothing.
-Well, good luck to the seven left.
-They're dismissed! Plant moves South!
-His first mistake! To the Land of Take This
Job and Shove It ?
-Things get shoved all right! Up the rectum
of the most docile and cowardly workers
in the world!
-Outside of Asia?
-Asian companies come there. Case closed.
-Will Cornpone Capitalism save the world?
-Undoubtedly! Plain as the nose on your ear.
-Psychosomatic. Now that I'm fired, I expect
it to migrate back to its proper place.
-We must keep our place. Therein lies happiness!
-Lies happen!
Labels: American Capitalism, benefits, Cornpone Capitalism, low wages, pay, Race to Bottom, Republican, Right To Work, South, Southern worker, wages, Wall Street
Tuesday, October 07, 2014
The South–-in process of rising
-Not enough they done already, now this
disease!
-E Freakin Bola!
-Sounds like one of thems weird names
in phone book.
-You want ‘em have separate one?
-Nah, you can tell.
-Well...don’t catch it!
-Their final gift?
Labels: Ebola", Race, racial prejudice, South
Wednesday, July 31, 2013
Song of the Existential South
Ignorance of Sorts
-Mac, is you iggerunt?
-Only half the time.
-Anyway, worst congressman ever from this state,
TV says. Even beats me out--and I just started
wearing shoes. And your degree from that-thar
Cornell place?
-They’d deny it. And yours from Yale?
-Lux and fuckin Veritas!
-We’re pretty smart when we’re smart.
-Ain’t that what they’re paying for?
-No, they’re paying for opposite.
-But we DO really believe whatall the Big Bucks Boys
is sayin’. Freedom and all that good shit!
-Uh huh. When we bother believing anything at all.
Labels: '"Freedom", cynicism, South, SouthernPolitics
Tuesday, April 02, 2013
The New South
Sheriff always joked he met his
wife in the Colored Waiting Room.
A crew of painters from the German
war prisoner camp had re-lettered
the signs in a kind of Gothic script--
all but unreadable.
Sheriff not the stereotypical movie fatso.
He was skinny and wore glasses. Looked like
a professor of Social Psychology.
If forced to part a skull in the Civil Rights era, though,
he did.
Long retired, he loved talking of that time, and emphasized
the violence a bit more than he should have.
But then, retired folks often brag.
Sheriff always joked he met his
wife in the Colored Waiting Room.
A crew of painters from the German
war prisoner camp had re-lettered
the signs in a kind of Gothic script--
all but unreadable.
Sheriff not the stereotypical movie fatso.
He was skinny and wore glasses. Looked like
a professor of Social Psychology.
If forced to part a skull in the Civil Rights era, though,
he did.
Long retired, he loved talking of that time, and emphasized
the violence a bit more than he should have.
But then, retired folks often brag.
Labels: Civil Rights, German War Prisoner, New South, South, violence
Tuesday, January 15, 2013
Southern Reactionary-Progressive
“Take my wife,” said the Jewish comedian,
Henny Youngman. “Please!”
Mine, who I’m tickled to retain, is a graduate
of a
hyphenated southern college, the rap on
which was it served only as a finishing school.
It did that, of course, but reforms gave the girls
much more in the way of History and Literature.
Even Political Science, with its grimier facets,
the ladies could absorb without losing their
gentler sides.
And still fiercely compete in athletics! My woman
a softball player who just missed the final cut in
the Olympics.
In the best case, women soften society. (And doesn’t
that open me to attacks! Yet it’s true.)
go off flawlessly.
The infinite details of which I’d screw up.
On the other hand, she stays away from my business.
If you’re invited here, you’ll swim in a sea of old gentility,
hospitality, gourmet food and beverage, etc.
And intellectual conversation.
If you’re a “Yankee” you’ll of course note the help is
black.
True, but with exemplary wages and benefits!
It’s the New South!
So much so that a reception we hold for local college students
includes a daughter of trusted staff.
Thus parents serve her, and my wife and I make her
more than welcome.
We find that beautiful!
How you do is your lookout.
Labels: college, equality, New South, Race, South, tradition, women, working
Tuesday, November 27, 2012
Jim Crow Party Lost
Weeping and gnashing etc
on country club verandahs?
Actually, softer types there.
What rock to leverage up
to find this specimen?
“Should never gived woman
the vote and nigra
the bicycle!”
Okay, emphatically drunk, and
his wild buddies claim him
mostly funny, just
coy-camping a bizarre
Good Ole Boy persona.
And even bright of heart!
Are we too quick to judge?
Do you think?
Labels: Jim Crow, Racism, South, women
Monday, November 26, 2012
Secession Airs–-a discussion of two
Northeastern Smart Asses
-The welfare states wanna leave. They don’t, like, cotton,
to the “Nee-gro” jiving back to the White House.
-Hey! Don’t let the door hit them in the ass on the way out!
-You don’t mind losing the culture?
-The what? Smithfield ham, pure salt! And without football,
nobody’d ever hear of Mississippi or Alabama.
-Grits not bad, and a lot of the girls are pretty.
-Yeah, but shit for brains. Tammy’s in love!
-That’s the DNA. They can’t help it.
-There’s good in this! The billionaires’ll flock there!
They can fuck the independent rubes even more rawly.
And won’t pay a penny in taxes.
-They do now?
-The secessionists’ll still be low-information voters even in their new country.
-The Fascists like ‘em that way.
-I see Georgia, South Carolina and Texas bringing
back slavery.
-But Twenty First Century version: a few token spicks thrown in too.
-So South-Centric is we-uns! We’ve been leaving the West out of the equation. (sings) Ok-lahoma where the wind comes...
-Well, smart cowboy’s an oxymoron, that’s for sure.
-Where men are men, and women fuckin glad about it.
Sagebrush! Coyotes!-–the four-legged kind. The Red River Valley! (sings) Just remember The Red River Valley and the cowboy who loved you so true. I’ll miss the sentimental songs around the campfire. And, by the bye, take down your pants so I can see your brand. I think you’ve been rustled!
-No doubt, but we ARE...missing the finer points in all of this learned discussion!
-Not a worry. They’ll reveal themselves over the
laugh track.
Labels: North, Secession, South, Texas, welfare states, West
Sunday, April 08, 2012
Mason-Dixon
-Her father called me.
-Well you don't beat a boy for being a boy!
-This one I have in the past--for being mule-ornery!
-Just enough to start beating you back?
-You're right about that. Time to stop and admit failure.
-How about the young lady in the matter?
-The what?
Labels: relationship, South
Friday, March 16, 2012
Short History of Low Tutelage
In the Middle Ages, monks
penned instruction re female
behavior. Nowadays it's vile
Southern Legislators taking up
this latest White Man's Burden.
Labels: Abortion, education, South, women
Monday, September 14, 2009
Corn Poners
call CSPAN be-
deviled by IN!-
surance &
The GOV-mint.
They blast Y’ALLs,
the educated guests. Vile &
Ignorant Crackers!
Save when they
agree with me. Then
they’re Enlightened
Southerners.
call CSPAN be-
deviled by IN!-
surance &
The GOV-mint.
They blast Y’ALLs,
the educated guests. Vile &
Ignorant Crackers!
Save when they
agree with me. Then
they’re Enlightened
Southerners.
Labels: South
