Wednesday, November 11, 2015
Getting It Together
Dr Petite announced to the European Consortium that the airplane would be assembled in China or Alabama.
There followed lots of Alabama jokes: incest, moonshine, guns, and comical accents.
He told them that Alabama could actually edge China on low wages, and that was good enough for him. As for the rest of it...well...ignorant people everywhere in the world!
He told them that Alabama could actually edge China on low wages, and that was good enough for him. As for the rest of it...well...ignorant people everywhere in the world!
The actual bosses a level above him chose both places.
Jenny the Runt was hired as a floater, first to be a sort of hostess dispensing coffee and tea to anyone touring the new plant.
A very pretty young woman, if tiny. And Dr Petite told her father that she was the equal of the beauties who did the job at the China plant. “And they’re professional movie actresses!”
“Don’t know no China people,” shrugged Horace. “Don't begin with N and that’s good enough for me!”
Labels: airplane, Alabama, China, consortium, European, manufacturing, N-Word, prejudice, Race
Tuesday, August 27, 2013
Back to the Land of Shed Grace
Travel for No Apparent Reason
-Well, how'd it go?
-Too many Chinamen!
-You'd expect that there.
-In your face!
-I heard there are about a billion.
-They musta bussed them all in to all the decrepit
tombs and whatever. You couldn't move!
-So? Culture huh?
-That's the wife. She picked it.
-A college girl, if I'm not mistaken.
-Whole shitloads of ivy has grown since she--
-Any culinary discoveries? Maybe you could
persuade your favorite Chinese restaurant to...
-We go to Lee's once in a blue moon.
-That's Korean.
-Same difference.
Labels: American tourist, China, Chinese, Chinese Cuisine, population, tourist
Sunday, January 06, 2013
Jewels
Maurice bought Rose a dishwasher and
had plumber Jock install it while she was at her meeting for the annual fete--she
and Maurice would again run the Beanbag Toss.
“What it cost? A dollar?”
“I’ll put it into…”
“Don’t even think about it! We’ll
have suds up the whazoo!
It comes with a bottle of some recommended
crap.”
“Yeah one capitalistic hand washes
the other.”
“Worry not, Rosie. This beauty
probably made in
China under Oriental Socialism.”
“Uh huh? The Long March of
Manufacturing!”
Once Maurice stopped instructing her
due to a mess
at his office, Rose got the hang
quite easily.
Though the last thing he said was she
was a Luddite
and would’ve been happy in her
grandmother’s time,
going to the drugstore for a copy of Ranch Romances.
She looked it up on the net and found
a story some pulp collector
had scanned in. A bashful cowboy
stands up to ruthless cattle barons.
One Delphina from Fifth Avenue
somehow finds her way into the
expansive neighborhood, falling for Gary
Cooper-ish him.
They’re partners for collective good,
but an obstacle is her having
lost her virtue to a New York sharpie.
Thus, no longer the cleanest
sagebrush on the acreage.
Cowboy, though, forgoes his mother’s implanted
advice and, well,
Love conquers all, and just about everything
else. And Rose, sort of.
“And at a penny a word!” she muses,
the dishwasher churning though
its weird sounds downstairs, Dawn glowing on a shelf like an
immense jewel.
Labels: Capitalism, China, Communism, dishwasher, Gary Cooper, Luddite, Ranch Romances, socialism
Monday, May 07, 2012
Congressional Committee
portraying Chinese
Rights Abuses.
Perhaps China could
hear from the long-
term unemployed here
in cloying Beijing hearings.
They could be later
bussed to meet those
performing their old jobs
courtesy of the Freedom
Fighters of American Capitalism.
Labels: Capitalism, China, human rights, manufacturing, offshore
Thursday, February 03, 2011
Moving To China
-Project complete when Mr H in other chair sign.
But is what you call crank. And the outspoken.
-Good! I'm tired of going round and round
Robin Hood's Barn.
-I no translate Robin Hood, his barn.
-He'll get it from the round and round.
-Mr T has worry, environment. The many laws you broken.
-Hey! You can't put all your money in sucking out the toxins.
There's a risk in the process as there is everywhere in Capitalism.
-He's says you leave states after poison American worker,
and now want poison Chinese!
-I visit the factory often. Take a chance like everyone.
There are risks as I say! But everything gets overblown
when Democrats in.
-But he says now--I think change the mind--we have
the many workers.
-That's the spirit! Sounds like Confucius.
-He pleased by Confucius!
-All right then! Rock n’ Roll! Will that translate?
-Perfect!
-Project complete when Mr H in other chair sign.
But is what you call crank. And the outspoken.
-Good! I'm tired of going round and round
Robin Hood's Barn.
-I no translate Robin Hood, his barn.
-He'll get it from the round and round.
-Mr T has worry, environment. The many laws you broken.
-Hey! You can't put all your money in sucking out the toxins.
There's a risk in the process as there is everywhere in Capitalism.
-He's says you leave states after poison American worker,
and now want poison Chinese!
-I visit the factory often. Take a chance like everyone.
There are risks as I say! But everything gets overblown
when Democrats in.
-But he says now--I think change the mind--we have
the many workers.
-That's the spirit! Sounds like Confucius.
-He pleased by Confucius!
-All right then! Rock n’ Roll! Will that translate?
-Perfect!
Labels: Annals of Capitalism, China, outsourcing
Friday, October 08, 2010
The Hypothetical Candidate
Say I run for Congress as
the anti-Walmart candidate?
That's taking on an entity
mightier than most nations.
As a sort of nation then, with
a domestic and foreign policy.
Its workers--excuse me, Associates!--
menaced by even thinner pay envelopes
should I succeed. The Chamber of Com-
merce exercising its greasy mouth &
money; China, of course, leading ally, coy-
ly chipping in to boost my adversary: True &
Thoroughly Dependable Pillsbury Doughboy.
Not legal, but where there's a way it
gets willed. I’m routed! Hammered
also by the Cross of Jesus–-in a land
of bribery, the religious
proving the easiest.
Labels: anti-Walmart, bribery, China, election, politics, religious, Walmart
Saturday, May 01, 2010
At the Big Box
-Where's the advertised one?
-Just as good, with the added feature of actually working.
-Where's it made?
-Need you ask? Built in Communist China by Capitalist slaves.
-And you want me to be complicit?
-We couldn't do it without you.
-Without sarcasm anyway.
-Coping mechanism.
-Mine's to buy endless shit.
-Building the nation!
-Yeah, China.
-Where's the advertised one?
-Just as good, with the added feature of actually working.
-Where's it made?
-Need you ask? Built in Communist China by Capitalist slaves.
-And you want me to be complicit?
-We couldn't do it without you.
-Without sarcasm anyway.
-Coping mechanism.
-Mine's to buy endless shit.
-Building the nation!
-Yeah, China.
Labels: big box store, China, manufacturing
