Thursday, March 31, 2022
Girls juswanna
have fun!--SO swee-EEET!
Unluckily, Worlds keen
for WOMEN, so stow away
prom programs&Betsy-Wetsy:
Get to work!
Labels: dolls, fun, girls, women, work
Thursday, January 17, 2019
Getting There
-Are you fella ordered G19?
-Could be. Don’t remember.
-Well, what’s NAME of article?
-Got me! All I do is order all
day long, so some’s forgotten.
-You’re supposed to take a survey
about it.
-No way! My life’s three-quarters
bullshit already.
-Might be hints in there.
-If you think that, there never are.
-Well, let’s just go ahead then.
-In mutual incompetence?
-Like Politics!
-I just always knew that everything
would eventually arrive there.
-I...could give you money to
forget everything.
-Done that already as a
Useful Idiot.
-I’m talking about the future!
-What a great place! You piss,
shit, and sing at once!
-Trifecta!
Labels: forgetting, incompetence, memory, politics, work
Monday, December 17, 2018
The Man Who Let It All Go
To forget a woman.
Overdid it!
Starts looking like a bum at work.
Step from homeless!--no kidding.
How to straighten him out?
Steered him to Religion.
Scoffed he!
More secular and non-hick counseling
at the university? Just sneeringly argued
with everyone in the group!
Self-Help articles with blatant headlines
via the net from his friends?
He can’t stop laughing!
At the last termination interview at
our mutual--and meticulously cautious--
corporation, he suddenly discovers
“I truly truly literally STINK!”
Hardly intellectual.
Olfactory, rather.
He took off the next day to scrub himself,
actually iron his clothes!
At the meeting then to fire him, he’s
all quite immaculate charm!
all quite immaculate charm!
And, since big outfits will chose the solution of less publicity, and thus scanter Big-Shot-Attention, ordered to quietly get back to work.
And never ever again to darken any important doorway!
Really lucky to toil where nobody
gives a shit about you, yes?
Labels: diffidence, Executive, hygiene, nervous breakdown, personnel, procedure, psychology, religion, rules, sarcasm, self-help, work
Sunday, December 16, 2018
Mother
Her head abuzz with the day
’s meetings yet to come,
she inquires of her adult son
as to as to possibly
having her toast and jelly
without Gay Rights.
Triggering him to eventually pay
during a lull, with his “leaving
this house forever!”
“If only!” she regretfully tosses. So,
off again, both, uncovering their
fraught, biting history
without even a breath of break!
It’s okay. It’s okay. All work is.Labels: anger, breakfast, Gay Rights, issues, Mother-Son, relationship, unresolved issues, work, work anxiety
Tuesday, October 16, 2018
Collective Acts
Greta knows that everybody
at work is laughing at her,
except Fuzzy.
“You’re paranoid!” he tells her.
But, in an act of collective cruelty,
they were.
Then, in an act of management cruelty,
all axed save Greta and Fuzzy.
They’re training the replacements.
Fuzzy calls them The Low IQ Gang.
After two months, in an act of
Headquarters’ Cruelty, they send
one of their cherished as Supervisor.
Mrs Suspicion.
“Will the Merry-Go-Round ever
lose its bizarre power?” asks Greta,
a month in.
“Never!” laughs Fuzzy
Labels: management, management incompetence, work, work circularity, work cruelty
Monday, December 11, 2017
Sobering
announces Marcy.
Drink after work.
Jennifer and Ruth doubt.
Morphs into five each as guys buy
Gals finally agree men bastards!
Marcy leaves...realizing propaganda
from Female Front.
Bit tipsy. Heels clatter.
Fleeing into his arms! Yes ! This last time!
Folding there, ah!
But they’re occupied.
Labels: breakup, female, makeup, over, Romance, work
Monday, September 04, 2017
Even-Tempered
Brelle and Lindsey befriended him at
his new job.
But the two women went missing the
following week.
He had enjoyed their chats at lunch and
on breaks.
They were found murdered in the fresh
apartment they had decided to share.
He dealt with mostly automated
systems at work, and now discovered
he had spoken to practically no one
in the past few days.
At breaks, he read his tablet as to
the murder. Felt uncomfortable
talking to anyone about it.
Hate Crime. Was the hateful slayer
nearby?
It all hurt him so.
In one particularly grinding
stretch of a couple of days,
he spoke to nobody at all.
Went home to TV and bed.
For those two full days, no phone
calls either.
His mother hadn’t buzzed since
arriving in Spain.
The detectives, asking questions
in a nearly empty office supplied by
Human Resources, thought all this odd.
His mother reached his cell during their visit.
Insisted on speaking Spanish.
He had to tell her that he’d get back to her
manana.
He did agree with the detectives as to
his isolation being strange.
That evening phoned his old buddies from
the former job and they decided to go to a
hockey game.
Detectives Max Herkle and Dora Moriarty
had meanwhile ruled him out as a suspect.
Dora: “That man has no motives, good or bad,
for anything!”
Labels: ., friends, friends at work, hate, hate crime, isolating work, lesbian, passive, personality, sensitive, suspect, work
Sunday, August 27, 2017
Interims
-So, the mystery as to the
whereabouts of Lutz?
-Didn't call and Personnel
can't reach him, home or cell.
-Maybe he went somewhere.
What did he say Friday?
-Not much.
-Why is he so shy? He ain't
that good!
-Uh huh? Now don't say it in
Yiddish.
-Funnier there.
-Moving right along...?
-Last thing he said at the
meeting with Grover and Gloria...
-That hadda be productive!
-WAS! “In the interim...”
-Ah hah!
-Really?
-He's trapped in the Interim.
-This happens?
-Of course, but events sweep
you out of it. Or you really
adhere to a schedule, and
every ten-minute block is
filled.
-You don't get an interim in
that anal-retentive case.
-Never!
-Tragedy! “But, what we do further?”
the Captain asked Jellybean.
-“More clues about him might provide the key
to get him out, Captain Sparky!” That book
changed my alleged life!
-His dog is Ginger.
-Good! Wife?
-Ginger also.
-How does he call one in when
both digging for bones?
-You've seen her?
-What else do you know?
-You mean about him or everything?
-Answer's the same: Nothing!
He could be locked in the Interim
forever.
-Oh! he was engaged once to Marcy
from Shipping.
-She could supply some intelligence.
-Not her.
-Well, we're lost!
-In an interim?
-Maybe always in one or another.
-Well, I don't like it!
-Who cares?
-Same people who care about Lutzy.
-Nobody then.
Labels: interim, isolation, missing, social, work
Tuesday, June 20, 2017
Millennial Trio
-Is my whole life getting on
Frisian Locomotives?
-No, your whole life consists
of stringing nonsense sounds.
-You, likewise, can't have a year
excluding October.
-You should. It's the gateway to
freakin ice!
-The dearth of tri-axial moonbeams
can no longer be ignored.
-Let’s ignore it anyway. Just for practice.
-My whole life...
-Not again!
-Your whole life consists of weakly
bitching for incoherent reasons.
-How rare to meet a true Millennial!
-Why not take a nice lay-down, Honey?
-My parents!
-Thought your little words were golden.
-As they hovered. And hovered!
-Helicopter Parents!
-Look around! They may be still!
-I don't need anyone anymore! I'm a
miracle as I stand. A living and
breathing...
-Uh huh?
-And the farmer took another
load away!
-If I became a farmer I'd make it better!
You’d see!
-Let’s give you an award now!
Before the fact.
-Ah but there are no facts!
Labels: fact, generations, language, language as avoidance, lazy, Millennials, theory, work
Saturday, June 10, 2017
Entrance of the Diffuse Ensemble
Their cruel existence
outside
makes work necessary
and vice
versa.
Labels: cruel life, life, vice, vice versa, work
Saturday, May 13, 2017
The Crazy Woman
-They're all going to work here!
-Me too.
-That's awful!
-Can be.
-I helped Loretta and
the children, but they
all forget!
-What can you do?
-Over there the TV came.
A man said he was a woman.
-Time marches on.
-Can you help? I...
-Gotta work.
-I helped Loretta and...
-Good for you and good for
everybody! But I gotta go to...
Labels: commute, crazy, homeless, insane, scattered, sex change, work
Tuesday, April 25, 2017
The Dollar
Peg and Barbsy agree
they'll run the beanbag
toss at the neighborhood
picnic.
Barbsy claims to "have a
beanbag here somewhere."
In the garage, no luck,
but Peg spots a dollar
on the floor and sticks
it hastily in her jeans.
The few streets home in
the Subey, she cries.
Tells an imaginary judge
"We were so so poor!"
Then she does the oddest
thing of all. Blots out
her tears with the dollar.
Returns it the the next
day, pretends to find it
on the living room floor.
“Spies” it under her recliner.
"I swear," says Barbsy,
"there's enough loose
money around here to
go to McDonalds. By the
way, thanks for the
beanbag."--ostensible
reason for Peg's visit.
“I just knew I had one,
and when you couldn’t
find yours...?”
The following week at
work, she's awarded a
hundred dollar gift card
to Sonnenberg's.
Buys a pretty blouse.
On the way back,
extracts it from the
candystripe bag she
helped design.
Touches the blouse to
her face as the traffic
light turns Caution.
Labels: beanbag, blouse, childhood poverty, design, money, neighborhood, social, work
Wednesday, July 06, 2016
Too-Shy Roger finally spoke up at meetings
for Truth, Justice, and the American Way!
But, by then, he had lost the thread of the
discussion, and came off babbling and incoherent.
Dorrie found all of it warmly charming, and set
her cap for him.
Of course, he had no chance.
Strides ahead of him at Home Depot now.
He trundles the cart she throws plywood on.
He hears it after in the car, some awful meeting,
but she’s on the cell with girlfriends.
Labels: Home Depot, marriage, meeting, modern work, set cap, shy, stress, white collar, work
Monday, April 04, 2016
Smart-Answers Kelly
She arranged her makeup on the desk, musing.
Suddenly stamped the document. "No smart
answers, Kelly?"
"None!"
Well, you're promoted. Clerk Two!" She started
applying lipstick. Watermelon Ecstasy.
All her bright makeup named for fruits.
“Congratulations definitely in order!" laughed
Barmaid Lilly Nessley later.
Five regulars joined in singing "For He's a Jolly
Good Fellow!"
But somebody did deny. Other Kelly swept over with "Another rung on the Ladder to Oblivion?"
"Clerk One forever!" Bixxy sneered back at him.
The two eventually separated.
“Bad blood there!”--Kelly eventually shaking his head. Then telling Bixxy of the woman’s Smart Answers crack.
“Serious!” he warns. "She mixed you up with the Other Kelly. You never, ever, gave one in your whole entire life!"
“I'll never get promoted again then?”
“Probably.”
“What can I do about it?”
“Nothing.”
“But there must be something!”
“Stay content! The graveyards are full
of people tried to straighten out the
simplest problem.”
The gang starts another verse "That nobody
can deny, that nobody can deny!"
The Other Kelly lurks in a dim corner.
Labels: conformity, contentment, friends, Jolly Good Fellow, niceness, Other, promotion, work
Saturday, February 06, 2016
A Short History of American Manufacturing
“Do it THIS vay!” insisted the Swede,
so Chuckie and I did. For years.
Then the Swede died and his brother
came for his tools.
We quarreled then. Chuckie stood
with the dead Swede, and I for myself.
So I did it my way, and Chuckie, the Swede's.
It got ugly. And silly. So much so that
we expected Management to intervene.
They didn't because they didn't care.
The products shipped as they were.
But they eventually made a decision!
To outsource the manufacturing to a
robotic factory in Mexico.
But Chuckie and I weren't out. We both
play the Swede in our display at Industry
World.
Have gotten a bit famous. Me on TV, and he on
Facebook and other social media.
The robots make absolute crap.
So much so that management has decided
to give the products away, and has installed
a monster service facility in our old factory here.
That way the customer ends up paying much more.
The Required Service Contract a Master Gouge!
Admired world-wide.
Chuckie and I laugh about how our lives have
turned into lies.
The Swede’s brother put up his tools on Ebay
so we bought them for the act.
“No Biz like Show etc!” twitters Chuckie to.
his thousands of followers!
But I’m not jealous, since my agent has just
nailed me down the role of Pepsi Grandfather.
Labels: Ebay, Facebook, management, Mexico, outsourcing, Pepsi, robot, social media, TV, work
Friday, January 29, 2016
Inside
The Planner
Bert awoke at 6, somehow missing his
appointment with The Pee God at 3.
After the hurried bathroom, he lit a
cigarette.
Whispering to the expiring match,
“Well, who or what to avoid today?”
Then he laughed. And smoked.
And coughed.
Outside, the outside sided with itself.
Labels: anxiety, fear, loneliness, paranoia, smoking, work
Friday, January 08, 2016
The Old Order
-You served in the last excrement of
an administration, and the new one
properly pariahs you!
-Even worse!
-And loath to leave Washington for
a region where people actually work!
-The horror!
-Thus, The Institute For the New Ideal!
-Proudly!
-What IS the New Ideal?
-Haven’t the least!
-Will you ever?
-We’re cogitating it.
-In the meantime?
-Money pours in!
Labels: 'work", money, old administration, think-tank, Washington, work
Monday, September 07, 2015
“Too much like work!”
Macaulay enjoys
pronouncing.
The New Economy grips
his opposites. Dregs
who fancy themselves
wits. They go!
further into wearing thin,
whilst he hauls in a stroke,
stopping at Bide a Bit.
His wheelchair slotted at
the fountain there for
whole, joyous
days, rain or fair.
It has quit.
Parts ordered.
Labels: cogs, New Economy, stroke, work, work attitudes
Friday, August 14, 2015
The Man Who Got Up Too Late
A terrifying first!
At sixes and sevens
this morning, like pre-
teen at an awkward dance.
Worse, he hardly talked
but that he snapped.
It's not me! he wanted to say
but couldn't bring himself to.
Managed, though, to make
the rounds at quitting: apologies.
So, he'd bring donuts later that week.
Had somehow to live down
the newish appellation
of Crabapple Jones!
The preparation for the next
day began when he slunk off
the bus. Everything check
and double-check now.
Never ever again! How his
hand trembled sliding
Marie Callender’s Chicken
Pot Pie into the microwave!
This new appliance desired
to ask him questions
as its table turned. He
demurred. “Lonely,”
it pronounced.
Labels: late for work, Marie Callender, microwave, oversleeping, relationships, smart appliances, work, work problems, working
Monday, July 06, 2015
Labor Policy
-What’s it with all these days off? Vacations too!
Doctors’ appointments? Do you ever, like,
freakin WORK?
-I drop by.
-I’m a Republican. Get with it!
-I do have a core job, mid the emasculating benefits.
-And is there a place where you can be adequately beaten?...just kidding!
-For how long?
Labels: benefits, corporal punishment, days off, job, Republican, vacation, vacation days, work
