Wednesday, October 31, 2018
Date
unrelentingly Austrian School!”
“More like Austrian FOOL!”
Mari had had enough.
Surprising Andre, since she
had been so quiet on this
first date arranged by sadistic
mutual friends.
The second surprise: She insisted
on another meeting!
“Thought I’d actually enjoy expressing
a few random thoughts about mySELF?”
He agreed with sudden grace.
Already planning the text cancelling out.
“Any stage being too small for two
such wits!” he announced to Carol
at the office next day.
“Uh huh? Two MALE wits, I’d agree!”
“You women are a blatant CONSPIRACY!”
“Never forget it!”
“Where are the snows of yesteryear?”
Puzzling her, so he didn’t add “And
the girls who gush over obvious
brilliance?”
Labels: blind date, competition, ego, female, intellectuals, male, wit
Sunday, June 03, 2018
How Jack Became Jock
Personnel screw-up!
Mr Doddings begs him not to blow the whistle.
“No Harm No Foul!” Then, suddenly dies.
New guy, Dr Chalice, ever-flustered, doesn't want to hear about it. Literally runs when it’s even mentioned!
Anyway, years pass, and no one misses Jack.
No wonder. There’s only one Jock!
Who marries, has three confectionery
daughters with his Millie.
His Millie! So very petite.
They sing as Jock’s Wee Lassies.
He conducts in greenest Kilt and immense Tam O’ Shanter.
(Instructed not to powder reddest nose
in America!)
Come in second on TALENT AMIDST US!
Fix in.
Start to finish for Brenda’s Amazing Dogs.
Brenda all but naked in provoking
sharp barks.
Labels: bureaucracy, competition, Family, identity, reality TV, Show Business, talent, TV
Friday, April 13, 2018
The Ivies
Marky always carried the heavy book.
“My Yale and Harvard!”
Bella’s little brother stole it of an evening, burned dvds for all of us.
Replaced, so Marky still carries etc.
smart it’s unbearable!
He hasn’t noticed.
Labels: competition, Harvard, intelligence, Ivy, medium, Yale
Saturday, December 16, 2017
Edgy
is this years “Mistress of Whine.”
Ask any of the hundreds who fled
Farmer and Mechanics Theater
before her performance ended.
Or the one judge, Harlow Epps,
who fainted.
Coaxed to advise whining hopefuls,
Beatz laughed “Be yourself!”
Labels: competition, grating, nerves, whining
Tuesday, August 23, 2016
Competition: An American Story
kids, and traveled to the Great-Great-Grandparents.
Clint had lost another job, and we presented an
appearance most bedraggled.
“Well, is this it?”
“Not even close!” And they bragged of the privations of the Great Depression.
We know the next visit will be the last. Their age.
…
Their voices, then, are feeble.
We show ourselves in clothes from Low Threads, a charity outfit.
“Is this it?”
“Yes.”
Labels: competition, Economics, Great Depression, poverty
Thursday, December 03, 2015
Knowing the Competition
Songs, Old and New
Triple-B and Saint Franny showed up early for the picnic.
Monikers for Ball Busting Betsy, and, from History.
Fran once cleaned a shower that had been puked in, saying
“It’s nothing.”
His role of scissoring greens, and hers of tossing and bossing
understood, there was no trouble. Initially. But she began
feeling restless.
Final result: He ends up sobbing and retching under an oak.
Another scalp for her, though much much too small a challenge.
She awaited the main thrust as the gang filtered in.
Uh uh. Everybody as hostile as she.
Jason Terrible snatched the salads away, saying he would
pretty up the work of three year olds! He rode herd on
the Hilton kitchen in real life, so Triple-B overmatched.
“How about you stir your capacious ass and get me some
radishes?”
She did, and was dismissed.
St Franny annoyed everyone, but had fallen asleep.
Triple-B eased past him to the grill people. Where, nobody spoke to her.
She eventually drifted through gossip knots, holding her own, but just.
Oh well, ended up at twilight, sitting over the mud at riverside, her
capacious ass sagging a hammock from the Carter Administration,
and one inch above weeds. Knees shooting up past her ears, bones!
Not a good look.
Sucked on a tall bitter lemon and vodka, half and half.
Passed out.
Jed Aurmel and his former student and present antagonist,
“Hannah” Harks, thought they should do something.
“Maybe she’s dead!”
“Forever bringing up The Ideal, Professor?”
She was actually Millie, but a Hannah had poured water
on a drowning man in an old song.
Labels: ball breaker, competition, cruelty, friends, Hard Hearted Hannah, hostility, picnic, weaponized wit, wit
Monday, November 16, 2015
Aesthetics
A bird and a rat formed a friendship,
which struggled a bit on the topic of beauty.
Bird insisted on all of his species being
pretty to some degree, while no rat was.
Rat countered with the example of Jeanette,
who lived on a nearby dump, or landfill as
Rat called it.
She was not only pretty, but sang wonderfully.
In a Crosby-Sinatra-Jo Stafford Old-Standard
manner.
Bird said “I’m from Missouri!” So they made a date
to meet there.
Well, Bird had to admit, that, for a rat...
“I’ll accept that. It’s unrealistic to expect more.
Now, how about Moon River?” Rat asked Jeanette.
But she wouldn’t sing if asked.
“Just another Rat-Quirk!” sniffed Bird.
But sold them her CD.
Bird bought another later that day, of bird songs.
And the contest was on!
Much latter, Rat, exasperated: “Is all life one-
upmanship then?”
“What planet did you scurry from?”
Labels: aesthetics, bird, bird songs, CD, competition, fable, popular music, rat
Tuesday, September 24, 2013
On and Off the Chart
Enchilada and PhD Assistant
-Any news of our competitor?
-The Little Jew is stepping down and The Big Jew
taking over...sort of counter-sequential, methinks.
-Thank you for skipping the tortured charts this
time, and putting it in terms I understand.
-I don't necessarily mean they’re Jewish. It could
be metaphorical.
-Any which way but loose.
Labels: business, chart, competition, Jewish, metaphor
Saturday, March 09, 2013
A Moral Tale–in a car dealership would you believe?
When Rell's line dipped far below Despicable's on
the sales chart, the boss wanted to talk.
He told him he had no excuse, but “Proverbs” finally
forced out of him the personal crisis.
Sort-of-girlfriend Jenny had left for Disney with some slickster.
-Examples gross as earth exhort you!
-Or something.
-Hey, you had no deal with her, really. Gotta lock them in!
Then there was the feud between him and the new carwash man he had labeled Jimmy Too-Slow.
-You're picking on him! He's retarded. If you can't hit the donkey you hit the saddle.
And lately, Too-Slow had appeared knowing, had put on this sarcastic face, Rell confided. Plus, a surprisingly effective insult or two came from out of this...dope!
-Everybody knows! So what? Anyway, nothing stings like the taunt of a fool. Listen! You straighten out the personal, you sell more cars. First thing, get rid of the revenge daydreams. Huh! I struck a chord by your look! Goofy whispering filthy things in your ear, is he? About Jenny and Whatsisface?
-Something like.
-Something like...you must be the only car salesmen with so few words.
-Perhaps.
-Yeah, perhaps. At any rate, when you see her again don't act all cold. Kill her with kindness.
He took this last proverb to heart, and she eventually burst into tears. They started planning their wedding.
And his sales line hopped above Despicable's. Wiping out that perpetual sneer. Thus, some revenge did take effect.
A dish best eaten cold.
Labels: car dealer, competition, proverbs, Romance, salesmanship
Monday, November 16, 2009
Bigtime
-Competition is the lifeblood of The American System!
-Nice speech, but how do we rig it in this particular case?
Labels: American System, competition
