Sunday, June 17, 2018
Endless Trivia & Pretty Bras
Am I the man whose wife is looking for him?
Perpetually.
But not to be found mid Reader’s Digest
aphorisms, next to Hardware.
Nay, of sterner stuff am I!
For example: I wish to live by the side
of the road and be a friend to man.
The “man” ‘s generic. Includes women.
Except! I’m making an exception.
Let the gals have their endless trivia
and pretty bras, and more power to ‘em!
Vive la difference!
Labels: attitude, female, male, marriage, proverbs, sayings
Monday, April 30, 2018
Leadership
“Every day!” he beamed!
“And in every way!” rushed we!
“We’re getting better and better!”
We took turns embracing him,
clapping him on the back.
OUR ACKNOWLEDGED VERBAL LEADER!
Then sang to him after he asserted
“The impossible DOES take longer.”
Our exuberance would have lasted
the whole evening, but he, unfortunately,
expired.
Through grief unending, we still remembered to phone Police Commander Swirtzky.
Who later asked the requisite questions to determine absence of foul play.
Then entered DP into his tablet.
DEATH BY PROVERB
“Older they get, more the case,”
he added to us.
We pounded his back and sang to him.
Labels: age, group psychology, proverbs, sayings, youth
Monday, May 02, 2016
What’s It Worth?
-Your erratic guy just gave a “Foreign
Policy” Address. Excuse me while
I laugh.
-It’s not Trump’s fault that its all
of it a phony bag of shit!
-He has found the Promised Land!
-Well, he does...have an idea or two!
-In the Land of the Blind, the one-eyed...?
-Something like that. Anyway, he’s here to scrub
the wretched, filthy stables!
-Too much ancient imagery for me...
from both of us. Not worth it!
-The game is not worth the candle?
-There you go again!
-What else is there to do?
Labels: foreign policy, imagery, old saws, proverbs, Trump
Saturday, March 26, 2016
Those Early Moments
-Uh uh. Double dating off. Giselle left.
And in a fit you wouldn't believe!
-Try me.
-Nah. I don't need "How stupid you are!"
-I'd never say that. Your case is too tangled.
-I even took a course this time!
-What was that about?
-(sings) Feelings. Feeee-eee-eee-eee-eeelings!
-Warn me if ever you do that again.
-No Sinatra I?
-Some are born talented. Some achieve...
-Yeah, yeah? And some never arrive!
-Hey! Not to mind! For every man there's
a woman. And yours is being discharged
from a nuthouse as we speak.
-Is she violent?
-Not at first.
-I live for those early moments. The warmth.
And sex, even.
-Assorted roses a good idea. Bound to be ONE
variety she likes.
-I've made a note!
-Ah you're a good-hearted lad! But if you
didn't have bad luck you'd have none
at all.
-Tomorrow is another day!
-And another and another and...
-Heart for every fate!
-Just stop it!
Labels: bad luck, bad luck with women, crazy women, friendship, optimism, proverbs, women
Sunday, October 26, 2014
Particular Proverbs
If she were hanged
for her beauty, she’d die innocent.*
The landscape of her sisters, an end-
less plain. Though, hollows
hold ponds reflecting sly
angels of Earthly Paradise.
*Irish Proverb
Labels: angel, beauty, proverbs, ugliness
Saturday, July 12, 2014
“The essential can be detrimental.”
-Oh boy, number 67 of Hobart Grimshaw’s
Bromides. Listen and learn to live!
-I don’t deny that I’ve culled proverbs etc
from books, from friends, the Net, Bible.
-Horseradish. Mostly.
-Guides life! What do you do?
-Just a good heart, that’s all. What’s that part
of Bible? Don’t worry about what to say, I’ll
help you when the time comes!
-I like your simple rephrasing, Lil. The hens in the
barnyard would stop pecking to listen.
-Uh huh? Well they wouldn’t listen to your
Jiffy Guide to Silly-ass Living.
-O ye of little faith!
-I’m still getting it, staying on the wavelength!
-Yeah. Sure.
-Hey if the speaker for United Nations suddenly died and they tabbed you to go on, you’d be a chattering wreck!
-And you’d stride in bold as brass.
-Bet your ass! I’d just open my mouth.
-And knock the international scene back fifty years!
-Thrust it forward through real faith, not ticky-tacky.
-Well, harmless as these daydreams are, Dear, I gotta go back to what they pay me for. Anyway, enjoy your belfry!
-I will.
Labels: Bible, bromides, faith, proverbs, saw, sayings
Tuesday, April 29, 2014
Dumb Friend(s)
-Jilly learned it in school. International Week. Anyway, dog bites
wife’s nose, and husband feeds it cookies after! It’s a Flamingo song.
-Flamenco.
-Whatever. Gotta hand it to those Spaniels!
-Spaniards.
-What I say?
-Spaniels.
-Well, you know what I meant.
-Always.
-What...if I didn’t talk a whole day? Would you read my thoughts?
-Easy as pie.
-Pie! Mmmm! What’s it with French Apple? I don’t see it anymore.
Apples, raisins, and thick topping of vanilla icing. Jesus!
-Too too much even before that last!
-Yeah, what do they call that? I mean, when something is added
and it’s, like, awful awful extra.
-Grilling the lilly.
-Stop it! Can’t be that! What a stink!
-You got that right.
-What would you do without me to tease?
-Life would be infinitely poorer.
-I’m going on the net to see where French Apple is.
-One of youse intelligent.
-I’ll guess which. Should I google you to see if you’re one?
-Nothing stings like the taunt of a fool!
-You got that right.
Labels: friends, intelligence, native wit, proverbs, repartee, wit
Wednesday, May 22, 2013
Chinese Proverbs in America
If you don’t like your neighbor,
buy his child a drum.
The Tea Party has a drum.
And Boy is it bought!
If you don’t like your neighbor,
buy his child a drum.
The Tea Party has a drum.
And Boy is it bought!
Labels: Chinese, drum, proverbs, tea party
Saturday, May 04, 2013
Choosing a Proverb
Deeds takes Look for the silver lining.
Jips, ironist always, Look for the slivered binding.
She doesn't think much of that. Anyway, Registry office
okays hers, but his already taken by a man in Maine.
All those pine trees! thinks Jips.
Jips has to teleport there and meet him. Exact clone,
of course. But this other Jips simply nods and brushes
past into the machine and is gone.
So that's the deal? Well, why not try it here? He asks the man
running the store to tell him where he lives.
Claims he has bumped his head.
Mr Orgonz explains he's delivering the goods
for a year’s order to him anyway, so why not
ride along in the thousand year old Chevvie truck?
After he helps the old man put the order away,
he starts looking around the rustic cabin on the
spooky lake.
Quite a good communications setup, so he messages
himself, his clone really. "Her face quizzy-weird since
u say Deidre. Likes Deeds."
Other Jips has books, he discovers. Must be old fashioned type.
And bookbinding machinery. Soon the store man
starts delivering some for repair.
Simple stuff he can figure out, but a few Bibles need
an experienced craftsman. So, he studies online with the same
irascible Norwegian his clone had.
After a year, though Jips is repeatedly called a blockhead,
the Norwegian posts a beautiful
certificate at the general store. It’s in Norwegian
and gorgeously engraved.
Orgonz frames it and delivers many more books.
After a year also he turns on his old household cameras.
Everything looks the same, as do Deeds and
new Jips. Except she's pregnant.
He remembers jealously, but is too happy for it.
Long book short, little Deeds messages him from
time to time now. She wants to visit. Speaks of all
their lives as odd. Most especially that of her
parents! He answers that Life is indeed strange,
but you go on from there.
She registers that as her proverb.
Deeds takes Look for the silver lining.
Jips, ironist always, Look for the slivered binding.
She doesn't think much of that. Anyway, Registry office
okays hers, but his already taken by a man in Maine.
All those pine trees! thinks Jips.
Jips has to teleport there and meet him. Exact clone,
of course. But this other Jips simply nods and brushes
past into the machine and is gone.
So that's the deal? Well, why not try it here? He asks the man
running the store to tell him where he lives.
Claims he has bumped his head.
Mr Orgonz explains he's delivering the goods
for a year’s order to him anyway, so why not
ride along in the thousand year old Chevvie truck?
After he helps the old man put the order away,
he starts looking around the rustic cabin on the
spooky lake.
Quite a good communications setup, so he messages
himself, his clone really. "Her face quizzy-weird since
u say Deidre. Likes Deeds."
Other Jips has books, he discovers. Must be old fashioned type.
And bookbinding machinery. Soon the store man
starts delivering some for repair.
Simple stuff he can figure out, but a few Bibles need
an experienced craftsman. So, he studies online with the same
irascible Norwegian his clone had.
After a year, though Jips is repeatedly called a blockhead,
the Norwegian posts a beautiful
certificate at the general store. It’s in Norwegian
and gorgeously engraved.
Orgonz frames it and delivers many more books.
After a year also he turns on his old household cameras.
Everything looks the same, as do Deeds and
new Jips. Except she's pregnant.
He remembers jealously, but is too happy for it.
Long book short, little Deeds messages him from
time to time now. She wants to visit. Speaks of all
their lives as odd. Most especially that of her
parents! He answers that Life is indeed strange,
but you go on from there.
She registers that as her proverb.
Labels: book, clone, future, proverbs, teleporting
Saturday, March 09, 2013
A Moral Tale–in a car dealership would you believe?
When Rell's line dipped far below Despicable's on
the sales chart, the boss wanted to talk.
He told him he had no excuse, but “Proverbs” finally
forced out of him the personal crisis.
Sort-of-girlfriend Jenny had left for Disney with some slickster.
-Examples gross as earth exhort you!
-Or something.
-Hey, you had no deal with her, really. Gotta lock them in!
Then there was the feud between him and the new carwash man he had labeled Jimmy Too-Slow.
-You're picking on him! He's retarded. If you can't hit the donkey you hit the saddle.
And lately, Too-Slow had appeared knowing, had put on this sarcastic face, Rell confided. Plus, a surprisingly effective insult or two came from out of this...dope!
-Everybody knows! So what? Anyway, nothing stings like the taunt of a fool. Listen! You straighten out the personal, you sell more cars. First thing, get rid of the revenge daydreams. Huh! I struck a chord by your look! Goofy whispering filthy things in your ear, is he? About Jenny and Whatsisface?
-Something like.
-Something like...you must be the only car salesmen with so few words.
-Perhaps.
-Yeah, perhaps. At any rate, when you see her again don't act all cold. Kill her with kindness.
He took this last proverb to heart, and she eventually burst into tears. They started planning their wedding.
And his sales line hopped above Despicable's. Wiping out that perpetual sneer. Thus, some revenge did take effect.
A dish best eaten cold.
Labels: car dealer, competition, proverbs, Romance, salesmanship
Saturday, September 17, 2011
Find the Nation
of biting proverbs,
and marry
into another.
Abundant life
requiring
critical passes.
