Wednesday, June 27, 2018
The Uninvited
Les never invited to events, great or small.
He went anyway.
None of this I wouldn’t go where I wasn’t
comfortable!
“Ever-comfortable” could be his moniker.
His Monica never invited either.
She threatened to picket!
At any rate, know any UNcomplicated
relationships?
Not enough there: just having one social
shortcoming in common, you’d think?
You’d be wrong.
Again!
Besides, life is changing!
Leary, School Guard, and his present wife, Dells, fellow guard and former twirler, have invited them to a “Bloody Mary Breakfast Bash” prior to the Morningside Thanksgiving Game.
All pack of course.
Labels: drinking, guns, packing, party, school security, security, social life
Wednesday, February 07, 2018
Spectacle
When the Combatants
stripped to Jockeys of an
off-white, uh, character,
Bucksy screamed “Clash
of the Titans!” But...another
anti-climax, yet, as
they collapsed crying in
one another’s real embrace.
Oh well, one shouldn’t complain since
the Present American Model is
Thief.
Labels: "characters", character, drinking, friends, Thief, Titans
Friday, June 03, 2016
Jesus In a Suit
Scene: Small inner room of
Back Door Tavern, where
Bloody Marys being concocted,
adding secret ingredients.
ART
The Army of Ecuador just marched
through my mouth.
BARTENDER MORKIE
Merry Christmas! Drink slow.
JESS
(reprising his sketch role as
last night’s Little Miss Innocence)
“Your largess doesn’t impress me, Sir.
I’ve seen bigger.”
ART
I can’t even visualize Mr Completely Good
with his pants off.
JESS
But you played him well as a raging hypocrite.
ART
Easier in the old days, when the Board sent us
fallible CEOs. Now we got Jesus in a suit!
JESS
Our sketch last night is the first step in his
destruction!
ART
I’ll drink to that! But he’s been singing all
morning.
JESS
His goodness is a slap in the face!
ART
Just another in a line of today’s utter frustrations.
JESS
We can’t really hurt him?
ART
Not a way!
JESS
It’s a Class Thing.
ART
Yeah, he’s got it and we’ll never have it.
JESS
Must pray to the Devil!
ART
HIS plate is full of the real world!
JESS
Maybe Jesus in a Suit will transition
to a skirt.
ART
Then we’d just turn all PC!
JESS
Or be shot?
ART
World’s gone to shit!
JESS
Drinking’s last White Privilege!
ART
Can’t pry that from our...
JESS
dead pale hands!
Labels: angry white men, Bloody Mary, Christmas Party, drinking, NRA, office, PC, Political Correctness, satirical sketch, White Privilege
Thursday, December 24, 2015
Power
The one single desired tidings of joy and bitterness, as she had recently staged a breakup with her forever boyfriend.
The children wanted to play with their new toys to the point of smashing them against others, and tears and exhaustion.
The men to return to the football game on the tube as it wandered to its artless conclusion.
And drink.
But the women, gathering torn wrappings, needed
to depart, resigned to a two-hour process thereof
before finally getting on the road.
Enter Aunt Dot, unshakable resolver of impasses!
The last car left fourteen and a half minutes later.
She freelances also.
Labels: children, Christmas, Christmas Party, drinking, Family, powerful personality, powerful woman, toy
Thursday, April 16, 2015
Crossing
Pell and Marion were smallish, the couple on the wedding cake.
Therefore, the experiment had a good chance.
He dressed as her and she, him.
They were to meet Cliff and Di, both probably sloshed.
Were. So it wasn’t that difficult pulling it off. Though both imitative
voices sounded like the beginning of colds.
The only emergency came with Hops dropping by. Pell, as Marion,
insisted he have a drink. Too much an opening for Hops as he
told two raunchy jokes involving Chinese girls, then put his arm
around “Marion” who finally shoved him away when he began singing.
But Hops was none the wiser either.
Once home, our Wedding Cake couple placed clothing on the bed,
and each hung things back up in separate closets.
Except for the underwear, which went into the hamper.
Pell dangled the bra last, and then dropped it in.
-Had no real use for this!
-Don’t have much of a one myself.
-The package may be small, but, ah, it’s pretty!
-Don’t get any ideas.
-I wasn’t. But I’m not tired.
-I have no desire to talk about the evening. It came off well enough.
-But you’re left...?
-Stale.
-Too easy?
-Isn’t everything?
-Did you get jealous when Hops...?
-It’s a clown show, not method acting.
They watched The Late Show, and the timer clicking off
found them asleep.
Labels: boredom, couples, cross-dressing, drinking
Wednesday, November 05, 2014
A Tale of Two Cities
-Dr Johnson said that a man who is sick
of London is sick of life!
-How ‘bout Cow Gulch, Wisconsin?
Never find a girl here to twink your tiddles?
-If you do, you’re Knight of The Round Table!
-Or of Kippy’s Kool Kup?
-An impossible standard, that latter.
-They also serve who only suck it up!
Labels: drinking, London, love, rural hangouts, Samuel Johnson, sick of life, Wisconsin
Friday, August 29, 2014
Nearby, 4-AM
The kids have gotten themselves into their beds,
after fighting about video games most of the
evening.
Glenda, a fairly competent referee usually,
snores on the sofa, Martini-ed out.
Cliff picks up the pitcher from the stale rug
and places it back on the coffee table.
The TV blares offers--second one free if you
pony up additional shipping charge, etc.
(Etc.)
He clicks the remote.
The blank screen makes him aware of the computer
blinking, so he jiggles the mouse to find out why.
Three potentially unwanted programs have been found.
Cliff checks Quarantine All.
"Thus I COMMAND!" he whispers.
Labels: argument, Computer Programs, drinking, martini, neighborhood, TV, video games
