Monday, May 30, 2022
Quartet
When Ricky Pretterman,
Business Professor, A&M,
and girlfriend, Karen,
register Republican after
NRA Convention, he laughs
Four Vicious Entities!
Labels: Karen, NRA, professor, Right Wing, vicious Republican
Tuesday, June 05, 2018
The Second Emoulment
-Do Children's Crusades arise when adults won’t lead?
-More like lead and don’t lead at the same time.
-And where does such cautious ambivalence get us?
-Here and there.
-And ultimately nowhere?
-Nice country around there!
-The monuments being kept up?
-Impeccably!
Labels: bribery, gun control, guns, NRA, Republican.leadership, Second Amendment
Wednesday, September 28, 2016
Taking the Second
-I'm for gun rights too.
Just not in Eighteenth
Century language.
-Well regulated militia
being some such modern
horseshit?
-We need, of course, a
Constitutional Convention.
-Bring the whole works up to date?
-Totally necessary. Eliminate the
Eighteen Century thicket of language.
-And what will the National Rifle
Association lawyers advise as
to this clarity?
-Continue to cower in the thicket!
Shoot from there.
-For how much longer?
-Forever!
Labels: Constitution, Constitutional Convention, Eighteenth Century, gun rights, National Rifle Association, NRA, Second Amendment
Friday, June 03, 2016
Jesus In a Suit
Scene: Small inner room of
Back Door Tavern, where
Bloody Marys being concocted,
adding secret ingredients.
ART
The Army of Ecuador just marched
through my mouth.
BARTENDER MORKIE
Merry Christmas! Drink slow.
JESS
(reprising his sketch role as
last night’s Little Miss Innocence)
“Your largess doesn’t impress me, Sir.
I’ve seen bigger.”
ART
I can’t even visualize Mr Completely Good
with his pants off.
JESS
But you played him well as a raging hypocrite.
ART
Easier in the old days, when the Board sent us
fallible CEOs. Now we got Jesus in a suit!
JESS
Our sketch last night is the first step in his
destruction!
ART
I’ll drink to that! But he’s been singing all
morning.
JESS
His goodness is a slap in the face!
ART
Just another in a line of today’s utter frustrations.
JESS
We can’t really hurt him?
ART
Not a way!
JESS
It’s a Class Thing.
ART
Yeah, he’s got it and we’ll never have it.
JESS
Must pray to the Devil!
ART
HIS plate is full of the real world!
JESS
Maybe Jesus in a Suit will transition
to a skirt.
ART
Then we’d just turn all PC!
JESS
Or be shot?
ART
World’s gone to shit!
JESS
Drinking’s last White Privilege!
ART
Can’t pry that from our...
JESS
dead pale hands!
Labels: angry white men, Bloody Mary, Christmas Party, drinking, NRA, office, PC, Political Correctness, satirical sketch, White Privilege
Wednesday, December 09, 2015
Hey Hey Hey It's the NRA!
A Certain Wisdom
Since National Rifle Association claims none
of its members killed in the daily mass murders,
the entire nation joins.
“Can’t keep up the promise now, completely,”
remarks President Skip Happ, “but you can
DEFEND yourself now!”
Labels: gun insanity, gun politics, guns, mass murder, National Rifle Association, NRA, self defense
Monday, November 09, 2015
Becoming Decisive
-We're doing Second-Amendment Hamlet.
-How does that work? Or blast?
-Speeds it up. The horny King iced at about the eighth minute.
-And his slut, Ham's mom?
-Spared. Left to Heaven.
-That's Lady Macbeth!
-Same theme. Keep the Woman Interest.
-Speaking of which, the beautiful Ophelia?
-Still goes bananas. I have her wending whackily through the
audience, strewing posies.
-Lovely! but a distraction. Nice 38 on hand, and just one corpse
so far? What a waste!
-Not to fret! Polonious and her brother Laerties then dispatched!
-No loss with the old bullshitter, but wasn’t Laerties a bud? Ham’s
Man-Crush! Or was that Horatio?
-Played the field. Tragic accident anyway. Our scattered hero
aiming at a hare loose at court. After all, we have a tragedy here!
Need senseless elements like life itself. Anyway, you just don’t
let up!
-And when Ham gets it in the duel? Well, who’s left with poisoned
rapier to do it?
-Osric, the flit. And New King!
-HE can’t say Good night, sweet Prince, and flights of angels
sing thee to your rest! Too swishy!
-Rosencrantz and Guilderstern in rock n' roll duet. A totally nice bit!
-With video of the angels wearing NRA jackets?
-Vests, so the wings poke through.
Labels: angels, duel, Good Night sweet Prince, gun control, guns, Hamlet, NRA, Second Amendment
Friday, May 30, 2014
Champion of Whatever
Solon and Aide
-Whatever happened to Fiercely Independent Champion
of the Working Man and Woman?
-Not a thing. You keep saying it!
-Won't your Wall Street Bankers get pissed?
-You don't get to be a Wall Street Banker unless you
know everything is bullshit.
-Or a Senator?
-Church Dude...whatever. You name it!
-And your favorite movie, The Sound of Music?
-And you’re (sings) a bird that is learning to sing.
-The NRA wants me blasted away.
-No rhyming in the office!
-Where do you stand on Gun Control?
-I don’t stand anywhere. For anything. I persuade.
-What are you persuading your gun nuts to...?
-Not to bring a bazooka to a pea-shooting contest.
-The latter weapon will be a great help when the black
and Hispanic Marauders come down the hill!
-I’m persuading ‘em: Stay up there!
-Let’s start casting you as Peacemaker!
-Bi-fuckin-partisan!
Labels: black, bullshit, compromise, gun control, Hispanic, NRA, senator, Wall Street, Working Man, Working Woman
