Thursday, September 05, 2013
The Wonders of Political Change
The man who was utterly no good
by any measure
underwent several administrations. The Conservatives
lectured him on responsibility, on demanding power, and
on bowing down.
Their policies cut his puny wages in half, giving the
difference to their contributors.
He did try their little personal bag of tricks, but
asserted his power at the wrong time and was
beaten up by bored delinquents.
The Liberals gave him cards for food and rent.
Told him it was temporary--until he got on his feet.
Since he had never been there, he hadn't a clue to
the route.
Moderates finally swept in because of the seething
disgust with both ruling parties.
They sent a man and woman. He held money,
she a baseball bat.
When they both delivered at once, he found the
experience sexual.
Labels: Conservative, liberal, moderate, party politics
Thursday, June 13, 2013
Party Politics
PR
-I want Rep_________on CSPAN.
-He’s a vicious idiot!
-Yeah, but actually soft-spoken, and that’ll
work against the jerk-off image.
-Thus good for the party, you think?
-What else? Party! Hip hip and freakin hooray!
-There’s...more to life though, yes?
-You know that song Is That All There Is?
Well that’s all there is.
Labels: Congress, CSPAN, party, party politics, PR
Friday, September 07, 2012
Inner Campaign
-Your opponent has breast cancer.
-Just one side. I can pin her down on the other.
-How can you live with yourself?
-Nothing’s fuckin easier.
-I...don’t know...
-Grow up! It’s war!
-More like pigs!
-Yeah? Well get out there and squeeze the biggest porkers
so they squeal. Squeal lahk a pig!
-Deliverance.
-What we’re promising, Sonny Boy!
Labels: breast cancer, campaign, partisan, party politics
Friday, June 24, 2011
Symbols
Senator So & So plus
Representative Whats-
hisface have walked
away! Will negotiations
sludge on? A little
like young couples
with their crushing
hurts, but they
have the cure
of makeup sex, where-
as nothing can relieve
politics save more
agony exposed
to the Nation
of Contributors.
Farce means stuffed.
Guess with what.
Labels: bipartisan, farce, Negotiation, party politics, political farce
Monday, August 30, 2010
Power Brokers
-So it boils down to two?
-In our minds, yes, but the convincing of others must follow.
-Money sways powerfully.
-Doesn't it? Anyway, let’s decide A or B.
-No names?
-In case some wandering secretary with a boyfriend
in the Fourth Estate has rabbit ears.
-OK, case for A then?
-Speaks beautifully, in blinding generalities.
Patriot to his jockstrap! Fiercely independent!
-Meaning he'll do what he's told?
-Precisely.
-Rebel for our cause!
-B is more ideological.
-But it's our ideology.
-Well, that scares the decent majority, so he
has to soften up if we choose him.
-That's not hard. He's a politician.
-Plus he shares the same marvelous central quality with A!
-Doing what he's told! Well, then, the other factors
for both?
-None.
-Got a coin?
-So it boils down to two?
-In our minds, yes, but the convincing of others must follow.
-Money sways powerfully.
-Doesn't it? Anyway, let’s decide A or B.
-No names?
-In case some wandering secretary with a boyfriend
in the Fourth Estate has rabbit ears.
-OK, case for A then?
-Speaks beautifully, in blinding generalities.
Patriot to his jockstrap! Fiercely independent!
-Meaning he'll do what he's told?
-Precisely.
-Rebel for our cause!
-B is more ideological.
-But it's our ideology.
-Well, that scares the decent majority, so he
has to soften up if we choose him.
-That's not hard. He's a politician.
-Plus he shares the same marvelous central quality with A!
-Doing what he's told! Well, then, the other factors
for both?
-None.
-Got a coin?
Labels: party politics
Thursday, August 05, 2010
Courting the Candidate
-Hat in hand, hey?
-Just an expression, but...well, somewhat appropriate.
-What leads you to believe I'd change my mind?
-Last time you were a wild hair, driving everybody nuts.
Now, you’re older.
-Thus wiser? Doesn't always work that way.
-More measured. And speaking of measure, I have a check for
your campaign from National.
-Made out to my campaign? Which doesn’t exist?
-They're hoping. As I.
-Catch?
-Just reasonable sticking to these two talking points.
Here...
-Uh huh?
-and especially here! Simple.
-You heard I’d been nauseated? Wanted to induce puking?
Labels: candidate, party politics, talking points
Thursday, July 29, 2010
The Party Leader
talks over scraping
chairs. But, one falls.
They're leaving. He
skips explicating
platform and pounds
most clamorous plank
as people haul on
coats and hats. Thanks
them for coming.
They don't look up.
Labels: party politics, political meeting, politics
Monday, March 22, 2010
House
1 party finally has the votes.
Other jams everything it can,
repeating
tired
old
defeated
points
for its base troglodytes. Joyful stooges
unveiled to say the same lame sentence.
It’s unclear if they are hangers-on or
goofy guests earning ham sandwiches.
At any rate, there's a lot of ham.
This whole mess gets saluted by some
as democracy. It's crap.
Parody badly staged. Embarrassment
to thought and culture.
Labels: houses, Law, party politics
Monday, March 08, 2010
Crisis Interview
PARTY CHAIR
I’m glad you came to me with this.
LEGISLATOR
Couldn’t sleep!
PARTY CHAIR
We all need our rest, though in some of your fellows it’s rest from rest.
LEGISLATOR
I’m...still at sea wondering what it is
PARTY CHAIR
I can clear that up. It’s an idea. You’ve had an idea.
LEGISLATOR
That doesn’t sound so...
PARTY CHAIR
But it is. The party has enough ideas. Yours is a menace unless
nipped in the bud.
LEGISLATOR
But doesn’t that sound like we’re against creativity?
PARTY CHAIR
We’re not. How you employ our Talking Points can demonstrate tons of imagination. Smash ‘em in
or sneak ‘em in!
LEGISLATOR
I never rest on that.
PARTY CHAIR
Good! Remember, there’s no such thing as too much repetition.
LEGISLATOR
I’m on Meet the Press Sunday.
PARTY CHAIR
Great! Let the other chump show fairness.
LEGISLATOR
A losing hand!
PARTY CHAIR
You’re learning. Now go forth and spew!
PARTY CHAIR
I’m glad you came to me with this.
LEGISLATOR
Couldn’t sleep!
PARTY CHAIR
We all need our rest, though in some of your fellows it’s rest from rest.
LEGISLATOR
I’m...still at sea wondering what it is
PARTY CHAIR
I can clear that up. It’s an idea. You’ve had an idea.
LEGISLATOR
That doesn’t sound so...
PARTY CHAIR
But it is. The party has enough ideas. Yours is a menace unless
nipped in the bud.
LEGISLATOR
But doesn’t that sound like we’re against creativity?
PARTY CHAIR
We’re not. How you employ our Talking Points can demonstrate tons of imagination. Smash ‘em in
or sneak ‘em in!
LEGISLATOR
I never rest on that.
PARTY CHAIR
Good! Remember, there’s no such thing as too much repetition.
LEGISLATOR
I’m on Meet the Press Sunday.
PARTY CHAIR
Great! Let the other chump show fairness.
LEGISLATOR
A losing hand!
PARTY CHAIR
You’re learning. Now go forth and spew!
Labels: party politics
Wednesday, October 21, 2009
Golden Bridge Over Turbid Waters
When big politicians vicious-
ly criticized, I often give half
a pass, thinking
of those countless
hours in tiny districts' fog-
bound meetings. Of course,
nonpareils among them skipped
such minutiae, giving speeches
full of blinding logic instead.
Their grunts and pencil pushers
bask in the greater magnificence
of plumb genius, the golden bridges
over turbid waters. They sigh at length.
Party leaders refer to their
Intellectual Royalty
as knuckleheads.
Labels: party politics
Friday, May 29, 2009
Frame of Mind
When unfortunate corruptions stand forth...
"We must have our man!"
When President appoints a benign moderate....
"We must have our fight!"
When reasons for it are murky or nonexistent...
"We must have our war!"
Labels: party politics
Wednesday, May 20, 2009
Post Victory Conference
-Let's see now. Your shtick is The Rebel! Goes against our party for the higher etc good.
-That's me! Rows against the tide. With dazzle!
-Well, on voting, we’ll give you flashy ten percent. Other ninety, however dull, with us.
-That is unreasonable! My reputation!
-You would never have been elected without our money.
One tight district!
-And I’m grateful but...
-Saying you're grateful is not the same as showing you’re grateful.
-I just don’t want people laughing at me.
-You're a politician! Who the hell cares what people do?
Labels: party politics, political rebels
