Saturday, November 22, 2008
The Couple
Spouse runs a bike
clinic for little
daughter in bank
parking lot of
a Sunday. All
goes well, though
rocky, until,
The Spill!
Then tissue rubbing,
& tears.
Back home with "Everything's
all right but we had mishap!"
Reaction? Depends on
UHI.*
Usual Hysterical Index
---
No posts till 12/1
Spouse runs a bike
clinic for little
daughter in bank
parking lot of
a Sunday. All
goes well, though
rocky, until,
The Spill!
Then tissue rubbing,
& tears.
Back home with "Everything's
all right but we had mishap!"
Reaction? Depends on
UHI.*
Usual Hysterical Index
---
No posts till 12/1
Labels: bike lesson
Friday, November 21, 2008
Trialogue
1 Well, the Senators are sharpening their lances.
2 Gotcha!
3 They wish!
1 My staff prepares me. No surprises from the self-appointed
intellectuals.
2 Ditto.
3 Mine too. So far so good.
1 I guess it's time
2 to do our thing again
3 and take up
1 our defense.
2 Our OFFENSE you mean!
3 The White Man's Burden.
1 Well, the Senators are sharpening their lances.
2 Gotcha!
3 They wish!
1 My staff prepares me. No surprises from the self-appointed
intellectuals.
2 Ditto.
3 Mine too. So far so good.
1 I guess it's time
2 to do our thing again
3 and take up
1 our defense.
2 Our OFFENSE you mean!
3 The White Man's Burden.
Labels: auto bailout
Thursday, November 20, 2008
A Dialog Leading to Paradise
-Wealthy should pay no taxes of any kind. Zero, nada, none!
They are the Master Investor Class!
-Middle-classers combine to pay their betters’ share?
-Of course, for they’ll be rewarded many times over by riches
trickling down. Only the stupid can’t see this!
-Slow process. It’s possible to be dead before your share drips in.
-All the better! Funeral expenses. Just a joke. Seriously, Republican
platform always includes heaven.
-Nice to be covered.
-Wealthy should pay no taxes of any kind. Zero, nada, none!
They are the Master Investor Class!
-Middle-classers combine to pay their betters’ share?
-Of course, for they’ll be rewarded many times over by riches
trickling down. Only the stupid can’t see this!
-Slow process. It’s possible to be dead before your share drips in.
-All the better! Funeral expenses. Just a joke. Seriously, Republican
platform always includes heaven.
-Nice to be covered.
Labels: trickle down
Wednesday, November 19, 2008
Rocco and the True Conservative
-Well, True Conservative! How does it feel to have your ass
handed to you?
-That happened to the Republican Party. Not to us.
-Then you and your seven wingnuts are safe?
-We'll gather in the wilderness and build again.
-Invoking St Ronald the Reagan?
-Well, he was the closest to the ideal.
-How 'bout the departing bunch? For example, how do you feel 'bout No
Child Left Behind, aka Endless Cash Again For GOP Buddies?
-I don't dispute this last. Government is tyranny, and can become
a tyranny of thieves. Especially Big Government.
-Hey! At any rate, they want you in the tent! But just to screw, finally.
-We’re aware.
-Just hold on to the racists and you'll do fine.
-Small government, low taxes, freedom! I don't see that
having anything to do with racism.
-Oh?
Rocco attacks the Right in South Philadelphia.
-Well, True Conservative! How does it feel to have your ass
handed to you?
-That happened to the Republican Party. Not to us.
-Then you and your seven wingnuts are safe?
-We'll gather in the wilderness and build again.
-Invoking St Ronald the Reagan?
-Well, he was the closest to the ideal.
-How 'bout the departing bunch? For example, how do you feel 'bout No
Child Left Behind, aka Endless Cash Again For GOP Buddies?
-I don't dispute this last. Government is tyranny, and can become
a tyranny of thieves. Especially Big Government.
-Hey! At any rate, they want you in the tent! But just to screw, finally.
-We’re aware.
-Just hold on to the racists and you'll do fine.
-Small government, low taxes, freedom! I don't see that
having anything to do with racism.
-Oh?
Rocco attacks the Right in South Philadelphia.
Labels: Conservative
Tuesday, November 18, 2008
Impeach Obama Sites Already Up
Generally, good to keep nuts busy.
But monomaniacal ones? Gnashing
of teeth while others suffer. Sorta
defines RNC talk radio too, no?
Generally, good to keep nuts busy.
But monomaniacal ones? Gnashing
of teeth while others suffer. Sorta
defines RNC talk radio too, no?
Labels: Impeach Obama sites
Monday, November 17, 2008
Employment Market–Southland
I live in Florida,
import like most.
Many are criminals.
They like warmth
and sunshine too.
Some enter politics
and hone their skills,
thereby. Until they're
swept out in outrage,
much delayed. Then re-
enlist among the formidable
thieves in the private sector.
I live in Florida,
import like most.
Many are criminals.
They like warmth
and sunshine too.
Some enter politics
and hone their skills,
thereby. Until they're
swept out in outrage,
much delayed. Then re-
enlist among the formidable
thieves in the private sector.
Labels: Florida, Florida criminals
Sunday, November 16, 2008
I took a great notion and a military pass
Bussed from Aberdeen to The Berbus
Music School in Baltimore. Kindly Mr.
Berbus show me a chord or 2, bemoaned I
had no practice piano. The Enlisted Men’s
club had one but I wouldn’t dare, though
I had sneaked there for breakfast.
(As basic trainees we were forbidden
to leave our area. I just placed
myself in the field between, moved
a few times like a chessman…
eventually digging into French Toast.)
Mr. Berbus had given me a paper keyboard.
I laid it atop my footlocker, practiced
for the first and last time, due
to the small crowd which gathered.
Bussed from Aberdeen to The Berbus
Music School in Baltimore. Kindly Mr.
Berbus show me a chord or 2, bemoaned I
had no practice piano. The Enlisted Men’s
club had one but I wouldn’t dare, though
I had sneaked there for breakfast.
(As basic trainees we were forbidden
to leave our area. I just placed
myself in the field between, moved
a few times like a chessman…
eventually digging into French Toast.)
Mr. Berbus had given me a paper keyboard.
I laid it atop my footlocker, practiced
for the first and last time, due
to the small crowd which gathered.
Labels: piano
Saturday, November 15, 2008
No Geographical Cure
nor Paradise else-
where. Thus
be local-
y content.
Re Keith
Richards' Glad to be here.
Glad to be anywhere.
nor Paradise else-
where. Thus
be local-
y content.
Re Keith
Richards' Glad to be here.
Glad to be anywhere.
Labels: geographical cure, Keith Richards
Friday, November 14, 2008
It’s Not Cricket*
Where have all the good sports gone?
The ones who threw in the sponge
to enable a rich junior to win
at golf. The ones who laughed
at gooks joining air
in the artillery blast. The ones
who fucked millions on mortgages.
The ones who super heroically held the line
on tipping waiters. The snide accountants
who coined the term Collateral Damage.
*Afghans are still upset over Sunday's air strike, which killed dozens of
innocent civilians at a wedding party. -Juan Cole
Where have all the good sports gone?
The ones who threw in the sponge
to enable a rich junior to win
at golf. The ones who laughed
at gooks joining air
in the artillery blast. The ones
who fucked millions on mortgages.
The ones who super heroically held the line
on tipping waiters. The snide accountants
who coined the term Collateral Damage.
*Afghans are still upset over Sunday's air strike, which killed dozens of
innocent civilians at a wedding party. -Juan Cole
Labels: collateral damage
Thursday, November 13, 2008
Community of Endless Light
sponsored by GE.
No darkness anywhere.
Grandpa puts hood on head.
When Coordinators question,
Fuck you! Muffled, but
shameful nonetheless.
sponsored by GE.
No darkness anywhere.
Grandpa puts hood on head.
When Coordinators question,
Fuck you! Muffled, but
shameful nonetheless.
Wednesday, November 12, 2008
"Collateral Damage" Sings
so bureaucratic-flat
when it’s babies
rendered air. How
about “Sideshow? Tru-
ly unfortunate goof,
Charge of Freedom,
(High Five!)
One of those things?”
(Hey! God’s Will covers all
bets.)
so bureaucratic-flat
when it’s babies
rendered air. How
about “Sideshow? Tru-
ly unfortunate goof,
Charge of Freedom,
(High Five!)
One of those things?”
(Hey! God’s Will covers all
bets.)
Labels: collateral damage
Tuesday, November 11, 2008
Their Tony Bennett?
I left my heart in Chingai in Bajaur Province.
No ring there? Well, skip to another Classic.
Just a little bit south of North Waziristan
that’s where I yearn to be
to the girl I left there in South Waziristan...
Shit! I don’t know Pakistan. But maybe
there’s a Tin Pan Alley in Lahore,
French word, no?
I left my heart in Chingai in Bajaur Province.
No ring there? Well, skip to another Classic.
Just a little bit south of North Waziristan
that’s where I yearn to be
to the girl I left there in South Waziristan...
Shit! I don’t know Pakistan. But maybe
there’s a Tin Pan Alley in Lahore,
French word, no?
Labels: Pakistan
Monday, November 10, 2008
Sunday, November 09, 2008
The breakdown of the star
shows chutzpah
can take you so far:
She can’t, simp-
ly, act, and
the nasty swish
of a drama coach
helped her
not.
shows chutzpah
can take you so far:
She can’t, simp-
ly, act, and
the nasty swish
of a drama coach
helped her
not.
Saturday, November 08, 2008
American Economy
Rich have everything.
Middle want everything.
Poor need everything.
Friday, November 07, 2008
Matter With Kansas
-So, what's the matter with your Kansas, hey? Again went Republican!
-That's us!
-Book says you go against your own interests.
-Don't need book. Just that we’d rather be fucked by Republicans
than helped by Democrats.
-So, what's the matter with your Kansas, hey? Again went Republican!
-That's us!
-Book says you go against your own interests.
-Don't need book. Just that we’d rather be fucked by Republicans
than helped by Democrats.
Labels: Kansas, Matter with Kansans
Thursday, November 06, 2008
The Old-Fashioned Girl vs The Modern Woman
Subject: Hubby has awful cold
-You poor Honey-Bunny! Get right into your 'jammies and under the covers and I'll make you hot tea and lemon and honey! Warm my sweetie right up!
-Toughsky-shitsky! But work's required around this fuckin dump. Get a good sweat up
and you'll feel better. If you get dizzy and fall over, I'll give you a loving kick.
Subject: Hubby has awful cold
-You poor Honey-Bunny! Get right into your 'jammies and under the covers and I'll make you hot tea and lemon and honey! Warm my sweetie right up!
-Toughsky-shitsky! But work's required around this fuckin dump. Get a good sweat up
and you'll feel better. If you get dizzy and fall over, I'll give you a loving kick.
Labels: Modern Woman, Old-Ffashioned Girl
Wednesday, November 05, 2008
Comparative Political Morality
-Some Democrats'd sell their mother for a quarter!
-And Republicans?
-Nickel.
-Some Democrats'd sell their mother for a quarter!
-And Republicans?
-Nickel.
Tuesday, November 04, 2008
Rocco and Possible Republican, Jinky-Joe
ROCCO
Funny moment on Saturday Night Live. Fake Sarah passed
somewhat genuine one.
JINKY-JOE
How'd the real one do on the show?
ROCCO
Like one totally tight-assed broad.
JINKY-JOE
No surprise. Not her turf. I testified once and was a wreck.
Courthouse not my turf. Platform's her turf.
ROCCO
Yeah, riling up the morons.
JINKY-JOE
You think all Republicans morons?
ROCCO
Not the multitudinous thieves. They're clever. I don't know
where that leaves a closet Republican like you.
JINKY-JOE
Not smart enough to steal.
ROCCO
Therefore a moron.
JINKY-JOE
Hey! I still could vote for the black terrorist Muslin.
ROCCO
No chance.
JINKY-JOE
Well I do lean to Simmering Mac. Hey old guys get up to
piss five times a night! Red phone rings, he's wide awake.
ROCCO
That stupid prick is liable to order the bombing of Alabama.
JINKY-JOE
No way! California maybe.
ROCCO
You ARE a moron like him.
JINKY-JOE
Well, I'm credentialed. Been married four times.
Rocco resides in the Southern portion of Philadelphia, a city Democratic by an astonishing margin,
ROCCO
Funny moment on Saturday Night Live. Fake Sarah passed
somewhat genuine one.
JINKY-JOE
How'd the real one do on the show?
ROCCO
Like one totally tight-assed broad.
JINKY-JOE
No surprise. Not her turf. I testified once and was a wreck.
Courthouse not my turf. Platform's her turf.
ROCCO
Yeah, riling up the morons.
JINKY-JOE
You think all Republicans morons?
ROCCO
Not the multitudinous thieves. They're clever. I don't know
where that leaves a closet Republican like you.
JINKY-JOE
Not smart enough to steal.
ROCCO
Therefore a moron.
JINKY-JOE
Hey! I still could vote for the black terrorist Muslin.
ROCCO
No chance.
JINKY-JOE
Well I do lean to Simmering Mac. Hey old guys get up to
piss five times a night! Red phone rings, he's wide awake.
ROCCO
That stupid prick is liable to order the bombing of Alabama.
JINKY-JOE
No way! California maybe.
ROCCO
You ARE a moron like him.
JINKY-JOE
Well, I'm credentialed. Been married four times.
Rocco resides in the Southern portion of Philadelphia, a city Democratic by an astonishing margin,
Labels: Democrat, election, McCain, Obama, Republican, Rocco, South Philadelphia
Monday, November 03, 2008
Parties Argue Treason
-We’re goin in! Probably in a landslide.
And you know where that leaves you pricks?
-Out. Simple enough.
-No, on trial.
-I'm trembling. Not! You're complicit in everything
we did. Only difference is we had guts.
-We'll see about it. And all your “legal” theories.
-Yeah we will. There was enough treason to go around,
wasn't there? It just spread over the whole land.
We just made it pay big bucks!
-Waterboarding! America as torturer. Lying us to war! The moral disgrace of it!
Can you imagine the party of Lincoln and Eisenhower...?
-Let's just say we have more of an imagination than you.
And certainly more than Abe and Ike.
-We’re goin in! Probably in a landslide.
And you know where that leaves you pricks?
-Out. Simple enough.
-No, on trial.
-I'm trembling. Not! You're complicit in everything
we did. Only difference is we had guts.
-We'll see about it. And all your “legal” theories.
-Yeah we will. There was enough treason to go around,
wasn't there? It just spread over the whole land.
We just made it pay big bucks!
-Waterboarding! America as torturer. Lying us to war! The moral disgrace of it!
Can you imagine the party of Lincoln and Eisenhower...?
-Let's just say we have more of an imagination than you.
And certainly more than Abe and Ike.
Labels: election, treason, war crimes
Sunday, November 02, 2008
Two Old Republicans
-Yeah we hitched our wagon to a crazy prick.
-He’s babbling on terrorism, race, Socialism, and getting us nowhere.
-Well he wasn’t the brightest apple at the Naval Academy and got
dumber with time.
-We’re still with him, though, right?
-Stick a fork in him.
-What now?
-Well it’s important for me personally that I disavow the racial hatred.
-I agree. Just not Republican!
-Of course! I’m sending a truckload of watermelons to Obama HQ
when he wins.
-Well make sure someone gets video. All their slobbering lips over those
watermelons will help us in next Congressionals.
-Don’t they beats their feets on the mud too? I remember that from a song.
-Stick some gin in those melons and they beats their feets and flashes
their hugely-white bulging eyes.
-Leftys’d criticize, but we’re just citing facts.
-Yeah, footsnotes.
-You’re hilarious. Not that we’ve lost, I’m getting the chance to see
how funny you are.
-You’ve gotta laugh. Nigs and the ladies. Watch ‘em both awhile
and shake with laughter, till tears run down your chubby cheeks!
Labels: Republican Racism, Republican Sexism
Saturday, November 01, 2008
Revenging Farce
Insist, again, on righteousness,
eyes fastening. Next time, cowards
laugh, trusting there’s an end of it. Bide
your hallowed space & then: eviscerate mid-
dance—it’s your bounden duty. In melee,
other dancers pitch and fall, thus, collateral
benefits of lust.
History repeats itself: first as tragedy, then as farce. –Marx, others
Insist, again, on righteousness,
eyes fastening. Next time, cowards
laugh, trusting there’s an end of it. Bide
your hallowed space & then: eviscerate mid-
dance—it’s your bounden duty. In melee,
other dancers pitch and fall, thus, collateral
benefits of lust.
History repeats itself: first as tragedy, then as farce. –Marx, others
Labels: political dance, political farce
