Monday, January 19, 2015
Car Guy and Politician
-Well, Congressman! Still that five
handicap at golf? Well, I'm a ten and
yet I'll whip your ass for a few hundred
buckarinos this next time!
-Uh huh? We’ll see about that!
-Bring cash. I don’t take American Express.
-All talk as usual! But that's hardly why I'm
calling: Our German friends we previously
discussed are actually manufacturing
that crazy concept car they featured at the
New York Show.
-In der Black Forest? Mit der elves?
-Mostly robots, and they've kept it pretty
damn secret.
-It'll kick the crap outa top of our line!
Thanks for the tip. We'll plug in some
Flash-Trash to mute them. Beat them
to a release date with it! Afterwards,
we’ll run some clever ads to mock this
Vundercar!
-Funny stuff always!
-Butter up the right sarcastic critics too.
-Remind me to never buy this impromptu mongrel
of yours!
-A tricked-up version could find its way your way.
For a trial merely, of course. But who’s saying how
long it can last?
-You better practice your long game! Mine’s a Tiger!
After hanging up, to his Confidential Aide:
-I'll always vote Republican. They cover more ass!
Labels: car, concept car, Congressman, CYA, German, golf, insider, insider knowledge, Republican, secrecy, trade secrets
Tuesday, January 06, 2015
The Drunk and the Congressman
-Instead of spending billions to go into
a country to destroy it, and then even
more billions to rebuild it, why not...?
-Just not go in at all?
-Too much common sense?
-One way to put it. But our contributors have
fingers in the pie. And need the other hand free
to salute.
-Patriotism and mega-cash?
-That’s it! Show Business–-no business like.
-Hey! I’M the bitter souse here!
-Move over!
Labels: boondoggle, Congressman, drunk, money in politics, patriotism, rebuilding, Show Business, war
Wednesday, January 16, 2013
Grandma in Transition
CONGRESSMAN
Gotta throw Grandma under the bus all at
once!
Can’t be gradual, or you’ll have
Democrats and other Goody-Two-Shoes pulling her back by the legs while
you’re trying to fling her good!
LOBBYIST
Some image!
CONGRESSMAN
Was fuckin English Major!
LOBBYIST
Your speeches often quoted.
CONGRESSMAN
Yeah, but for the wrong reasons. Media
needs Simon Legree!
Not familiar with that gentleman.
CONGRESSMAN
No matter. You’re a product of dumbed-down
education.
Smart enough to know this scotch is
smoky silk!
CONGRESSMAN
Son, only Congressmen and billionaires
can afford
this scotch.
LOBBYIST
Have a hunch it’ll prove expensive to
me.
First sensible thing you said.
Labels: billiionaire, bribery, Congress, Congressman, Grandma, lobbyist, Simon Legree
