Sunday, March 04, 2018
All in the wrist! Or not.
or The Principle of Judicious
Choice! Perhaps.
This mantra served him well in golf:
It’s All in the wrist!
Then, it didn’t.
After that, disaster! Worse, the scorn
of his fellow players.
Found a guru in his new teacher, Pro Sam,
who counseled FORGET THE WRIST!
Which advice prospered until he erased
the laughter.
That, in time, failed too.
Other mantras?
Of course, and overall, he got more
and more pitiful.
Finally, he heeded the advice of friend
Horty. “Hey! know that you stink and
revel in the odor!”
As an American, that couldn’t last long.
His wife, Ruby, warned him to stop
talking about it.
But...he was rescued!
A miracle called REORGANIZATION
at work, whose rules and admired
personalities he ignored completely.
This was the fourth such process,
and he knew by instinct that they had
disgracefully struck out in the
first three, so why listen?
Thus, unconscious anarchist of sorts.
The same in golf to acceptable results.
He continued to obey Ruby, who
transcended mere ideas.
Labels: anarchy, golf, marriage, process, reorganization, simplifying, thinking
Saturday, June 24, 2017
The “There” There
Tresh and Habney
-The answer is in the dirt!
-Is it? You mean I been wasting
my time looking elsewhere? Clouds?
Infinity? Bosuns?
-Ben Hogan said that. About golf.
-Well, he knew about that.
-Uh, practice. Hit a million balls!
-From the dirt?
-Where else?
-He was smart. But I like it in Washington!
-Dirt there?
-Been known.
Labels: Ben Hogan, bribery, crime, dirt, golf, gossip, money, political crime, politics
Friday, May 19, 2017
“The Two-Plate Solution”
meant something, saved firm, but we
sold off thereafter.
And used it as metaphor etc in the new
business on the order of “We need a
Two-Plate Solution here!”
Partner dies and I give elegy etc.
and go into it in detail. How it
rescued us once. How important
is is to remember such things.
On the way back, for some reason
I recall the story of the Mitsu guy
who died, last word: “Mitsubishi!”
There follows an immense sadness
in me for weeks after.
Finally lets go it does.
“For you, too late for golf,” wife wisecracks.
Labels: business, depression, golf, middle age, Mitsubishi, mythology, retrospection, values
Monday, December 14, 2015
Endowed By Their Creator
The Speech
-So, what you gonna say to the Jews?
-Easy! We’re for ‘em and against the dirty AY-rabs!
-Dirty? Really?
-Hey! The Jews is a clean people!
-I seem to see a filthy clutter of pushcarts in my
jaundiced, historical eye.
-So they weren’t to begin with? We learned ’em!
-Well...to get into the CL-ub…!
-Everybody must look nice. Period!
-In New Haven, their Woodbridge was the more interesting
golf course.
-Go back to freakin Yale!
-Old Eli stretched things to admit me.
-Ghinny Quota?
-Something like.
Labels: Country Club, Eli, ethnic exclusion, golf, Italian, Jew, quota, Yale
Monday, January 19, 2015
Car Guy and Politician
-Well, Congressman! Still that five
handicap at golf? Well, I'm a ten and
yet I'll whip your ass for a few hundred
buckarinos this next time!
-Uh huh? We’ll see about that!
-Bring cash. I don’t take American Express.
-All talk as usual! But that's hardly why I'm
calling: Our German friends we previously
discussed are actually manufacturing
that crazy concept car they featured at the
New York Show.
-In der Black Forest? Mit der elves?
-Mostly robots, and they've kept it pretty
damn secret.
-It'll kick the crap outa top of our line!
Thanks for the tip. We'll plug in some
Flash-Trash to mute them. Beat them
to a release date with it! Afterwards,
we’ll run some clever ads to mock this
Vundercar!
-Funny stuff always!
-Butter up the right sarcastic critics too.
-Remind me to never buy this impromptu mongrel
of yours!
-A tricked-up version could find its way your way.
For a trial merely, of course. But who’s saying how
long it can last?
-You better practice your long game! Mine’s a Tiger!
After hanging up, to his Confidential Aide:
-I'll always vote Republican. They cover more ass!
Labels: car, concept car, Congressman, CYA, German, golf, insider, insider knowledge, Republican, secrecy, trade secrets
Wednesday, April 16, 2014
Green Chronicle
Latest edition of his history of the club featured the new
President on the cover, sitting with him on the famous bench
off the first tee.
He couldn't play with him, though. Three others had flown in,
their helicopter landing next to Marine One.
"Not you, of course! Billionaires, not peons!" remarked Assistant
Professional, Bert Sommes. Socialist Bert.
His editor concocted five pages describing the visit, including
the President going into the kitchen to ask Andre to deep fry
a sweet potato. Never happened.
Labels: billionaires, golf, golf club, power, President
Wednesday, February 12, 2014
Controlling the Future
Planning For Individuals and Couples
-So I'm to have control of nothing, is it?
-Your little habit of exaggerating.
-Well that's what it sounds like.
-Pretty much your life is put on a grid, and we take it
from there.
-All my romances and disappointments...and even
appointments?
-That last is something we can get a grip on.
Everything with the doctor, dentist etc is handled
by us. A hover scooter will show up at your door
and you'll go.
-The horse knows the way?
-Why bring horses into it?–your profile, though, points
to bizarre comparisons.
-Got me to a T. So I'm not to know when I'm going to Doc.
It shows up and...
-Precisely.
-What if I'm dirty from the garden?
-Totally unnecessary labor, but allowed. But, let's not be
silly. The scooter will program itself to go elsewhere to
fetch somebody else, and another one come when you've
showered.
-I'm never to make, and hafta remember, another
appointment?
-Most love that we take care of it!
-How about the romance department? Do you
take care of that too?
-Most emphatically! You're to...according to my tablet...
take a walk through The Botanical Gardens with Stella.
Then tea in the Indonesian House there.
-Stella huh? Do I get anything on her beforehand,
a picture?
-Not a thing, but, believe me! you've lucked
out with her. Her point total is astronomical.
-How about mine?
-Not bad. Little quiddities detract somewhat.
-Which will eventually discourage her? Then the
fresh start after licking the wounds. Know that
routine well.
-Your pessimism is one of the quiddities. You marry
her, according to the grid.
-Won’t I have a choice in...?
-You shouldn't bother. It's all optimized for you.
Couldn’t possibly be better!
-So a guy from the government saying they got my
interests at heart. Uh huh?
-Old-fashioned phrasing, but the gist.
-And my golf?
-We’ve decided you’re to play twice a week. Once
is proving inadequate for any acceptable performance.
-I’m not against it, but one wears special clothing, and
brings along clubs.
-You can dress in the enclosed scooter, and a robot will
be waiting for it with your clubs. Accompany you as caddy.
-That should make for some elevated conversation.
-You’d be surprised.
-So, in this new life you do what you're told, thus hafta to
think just about zero?
-Delightfully so, but folks still find some elbow room–-
though I shouldn’t tell you.
-Such as my programing the hoverscooter to go to some
secret place for ole Stell and me?
-You're already thinking! Believe it or not, the leaders
encourage it.
-Within bounds.
-Naturally.
Labels: future, future daily life, future marriage, future thinking, golf
Tuesday, December 10, 2013
Comfortable Subjects
The Group
-Mark is unitary; Cecile, dualist, Jasper, trinitarian.
And Maxie, quartetish, if that's a word.
-Good enough.
-I forgot Jennifer, pluralist.
-Anything goes?
-In narrow areas.
-At any rate, as academics, profound religious discussion.
-Nah, the subject is Golf, specifically great players.
-Devoting lives to trivia?
-That's harsh, but something like.
-At the Last Reckoning, will they all still babble on about it?
-Final resort here at any rate.
-Wasting time when so many serious topics...
-They tried those, finally concluding they were false,
nonsensical, and corrupt.
-The world isn't perfect.
-Thus making their own.
-I don’t like it!
-Finally getting to the subject.
Labels: argument, belief, discussion, golf, religion, trivia
Saturday, November 16, 2013
All in the wrist!
Various Cons
Wristy had real estate schemes we turned off on.
As everything he promoted, the Devil lurked in the
details. And he was the Devil.
We just knew he was flipping properties wholesale.
So effectively that he bought a special edition
Infinity. Only thirty made.
The “Wristy” came from his claim about golf, that it
was all in the wrist.
Our good player claimed that it wasn't and never
was, but such never deterring Wristy.
Oh well, loud nights at sports bars to help spend youth!
No foul no harm.
Comes the Crash and he's quickly underwater, with
a huge inventory. But, not to worry, he's sent to prison
before he's ruined.
Some non real estate pipedream he concocted with
a junior banker from the next town. Details so
complicated, the prosecution expected the entire jury
to fall asleep. But they toughed it out, and, in fact,
convicted.
“Got the quad,” Wristy emailed us. Four years in Danbury.
Where we imagine him telling others in an exercise yard
that it's all in the wrist.
The Infinity up on blocks, his attorney able to save it
and nothing else.
The bunch drives up next weekend. Can’t wait for
the next con he's dreamed up, with the collusion of
bent teachers there.
Labels: Danbury, Devil in details, flipping, golf, prison, Real Estate, sports bar, underwater
Friday, July 20, 2012
British Open
‘mongst green & gorse, not
seen such whiteness, I’ve.
Pinkness really, blended
with beefy red. Looks like
Republican Convention
on a golf course. & when
you throw in then
the pots?
‘mongst green & gorse, not
seen such whiteness, I’ve.
Pinkness really, blended
with beefy red. Looks like
Republican Convention
on a golf course. & when
you throw in then
the pots?
Labels: British Open, golf, Republican Convention, whiteness
Tuesday, December 06, 2011
CALL-IN SHOW IN A TRUER UNIVERSE
Q Sixty, Florida, Graduate Degree, unemployed for 2 years. What...?
A You’re too fuckin old. Find a posh golf course and caddy there. Most fatasses employing you will try to steer you right of Genghis Khan, but ignore it.
If a good player, tell him he's the best you've seen.
If wretched, praise his intuitive feel for the game.
Labels: golf, unemployment
Monday, July 18, 2011
A Certain Party at Golf
-You’re in the bunker, the deepest one, and the only way out
is to hit backwards.
-That’s always the best way.
Labels: golf, politics, reactionary
