Monday, September 18, 2017
Stay Misty For Me
--or the odds matter
Misty a bright acquisition!
Judge was optimistic about her
sticking.
He gave it 70-30.
But after the first week, and her
pouting after he couldn't obtain
tickets for Slammo & Chutzy...?
50-50.
After all, wasn't real anger, but
severely funked disappointment.
Even odds held another week.
Then she announced she was moving
to Freeport, and, thank you, needed
no help in doing it.
“Let's stay in touch!” brightened he
anyway.
“I'll be awful awful busy!”
So, not a chance. Plus, she put on her
determined face. Which, pretty as she
was, could still horrify children and
small dogs.
Well...plenty other games in town!
He was a realist in realizing the breakup
was partially his fault.
15-85.
But, really, what a Foursquare Bitch!
He had actually lucked out!
His new date, Larsy, asked him repeatedly,
"What did you say?"
She out-vagued the field.
Odds would take some thought in her case.
For their next good time, she showed up at Early
and Marcom, instead of Four Corners!
How long before she’d forget his very existence?
Anyway, he finally decided on 100-1 they’d
ever arrive anywhere.
About right. She finally left with a high junkie
as woefully scattered.
Our hero, yes, cried.
Isn’t it the accumulation of things that leads
us there?
10-1 we’ll all do it at some murky stage.
Or acute.
Will of the Almighty? I heard God and the
Angels washed their hands of relationships
worldwide.
Satan, though, keeps his oar in.
Propelling his Rowboat of Fools!
Labels: date, dating, fools, friendship, God, odds, rejection, relationship, Satan
Sunday, November 06, 2016
Their Batting Average
For Cause
Phoned the wrong girl for a date.
He wanted Cindy, a talky personality.
Then he could nod all evening, agreeing.
But he reached Mindy, a stone.
Well, she listened. His problem: the
Honor Society.
Neanderthal politicians attempting
to hijack it! Not a scholar among
them! you’ll have no trouble believing.
Mindy would help him fight! All his
causes, in fact, became immediately
fierce to her! Pattern.
No kids...decided after the first very
very serious conversation–-on a weekend
away from the pressing social external.
She did talk thereafter, and over the years,
but not too much small stuff. Always to
a purpose.
Fast forward to Social Security! They did
a lot together. Battles!
Victories! Some lasting, most not.
Labels: college, college politics, dating, fighting couple, Honor Society, personality, student politics, team
Sunday, January 03, 2016
Colors of Her History
Fast Changes
"No more dumb blonde, me!" she laughed
with Cindy-Lil.
"Your personality is changing instantly, Red!"
The first Speed-Date didn't notice.
Second: "A color not seen in Nature!"
Before she could unleash a stinger,
Max the Butcher in her face.
“I never knew a redhead!”
“Lots of things.”
“This coffee is horse piss!”
“I never fail there!”
“Good enough for me! Let’s go!
I got a condo, plus a cottage in
Wildwood, plus cars, plus...!”
“What’s your minuses?”
“What you see is what you get! I’m rough
but will learn. You’ll get plenty of household
and personal money, and no questions asked.”
“This is supposed to be about dating!
Not even that, it’s so fast.”
“I’m sick to death of fooling around!”
“Didn’t some buzzer sound or something?
You’re to move!”
“Not without you!”
“I’m...not even a natural redhead!”
“You’re natural enough woman for me!”
“Did...I wear a coat?”
“It’s hot as hell out there!”
“Appropriately.”
“You whispered. I didn’t quite get...”
“I said Let's go!”
Labels: dating, hair color, haste, redhead, Romance, rules, Speed Dating
Wednesday, March 11, 2015
Scale
Burke is largely into insignificance: humans as much much
less than specks in a speedily expanding universe.
Hal tells him he's sick of hearing it, and has decided
to make the best of his speckdom by getting a girlfriend.
The old Ford dealer now runs Valley Couples. "I put you
in a Ford, now let me...!"
Hal's just-hatched ad: “Insignificance wants similar for both
to prove greater or lesser.”
Burke pronounces it too romantic. But he, as you've probably
concluded, is nuts.
One reply, so Hal meets her at Just Coffee. The fashion in the
Valley is to name most establishments modestly, but
sociologically. This one aids poor farmers in Central America.
Beats, for Beatrice, drives for Federal Express, Hal for its Brown
Competition: a springboard for a conversation that rushes
until closing.
Other dates with these two, of course. In one, though both
ordinarily eschew detail, they compare contracts.
Then, one night at the Starlight, booze-dreamily explore
living together.
Therefore, the eventual cottage on Appletree Lane, once rural,
but now mostly strip-malls.
Both sets of friends come easily on board, and Burke actually
encounters a woman into Astronomy, and they argue massive
points–-approaching a trillion light-years. Continuously.
The most urban section of the lane holds Appletree Chapel,
and Beats' special buddy, Reverend Nancy Carks.
She marries them a year later. The reception at the Starlight,
where proprietors Mo and Minnie open all the doors to let
the swelling talk out.
The younger folks dance the Ratutsi-Doo right out to the sidewalk
and between parked cars!
Bride and Groom join them, sliding onto the hood of a Subaru.
Some Reception? Yeah!
No babies come, and they never find out why. But Rev Nancy
gets them to adopt Bert and Ernestine, two comically diverse
versions of busy medium-sized mongrels--after an elderly
pair of parishioners addles together to Bide-a-Bit.
Bert and Ernestine have aged alongside everyone else, and no
longer emit a blood-curdling howl when Beats and Hal leave for
work in their uniforms. But take more hugging now.
Labels: astronomy, dating, dating service, dogs, Federal Express, light-years, UPS
Sunday, February 01, 2015
Sentimental. Yet loud!
The dating questionnaire said nothing
about voice. And Rose was loud.
And her clothes too. The waiter shot
them a miffed glance, as if Cliff should
tone her down. The little rowhouse
restaurant had low ceilings.
He did get her to skip dessert.
“That's fine. I like talking better.”
She did that, while they walked along
the river.
He composed the usual email thanking
her, wishing her luck in her search.
But, couldn't hit the send button.
She's so so beautiful, he reasoned. Maybe I
could get her to...
He couldn't. "You're the Quiet Man, and I'm
Maureen O'Hara!" asserts she the next time.
But this particular redhead ratchets things up
a couple of decibels! he thought.
“Say it!” she intuited. “I'm loud! Mother and Dad
begged for mercy!”
“You're like Ethel Merman. Belting it out to the
back rows! But I’m in the front one. See little
ole me?” he waved.
“In...our own quiet times, should we arrive there,
you won't find me so.”
And he didn't.
Shortening things up: They eventually move in
together. Sparkling condo in the Old Rope Factory
Building. Jack Early, an old school chum, rents it
to him. “3C is my best unit. I'm 3D above you, and
if I killed an elephant, you wouldn't hear it!”
“Good, my Rose can get, uh, boisterous.”
A couple of months later, in the old freight
elevator that Jack retained for its grungy
feeling: "Do you hear anything from us?”
"Well, your Rose effectively defeated the
expensive insulation. But, I'm kidding,
of course. There's just a...sort of vibration.”
“Let me apologize.”
“Don't! It's most pleasant. And moreso since
I’ve met her a few times. She envelops! And I
mean that in a good way. It's like...I don't know...
love or something."
"Gonna steal her away from me?"
"Listen! Let me tell you the effect this woman
has had on me. My sister has tried fixing me up for
a year or so and I always say no. But not this time!"
Jenny proves as strident as Rose, and when they
eventually have them in for drinks, the men
smoke Cuban cigars on the balcony while the
women...well it resembles shouting.
"Wanna bet on the winner?" he asks Jack Early.
"I don't hafta. It's both of us!"
Labels: compatibility, dating, loud, matchmaking, quiet, relationship
Sunday, January 04, 2015
Dates of a Day
The Bachelor Rises
to sniff his shorts.
“They smell of me
and not of pee.”
Dinner with K last night
proved icy cold. Cross
her off! R will set up Coffee
later. Any fattening Danish
she desires: it’s Dutch.
That flops since her mother
requires her for a rush
trip to Arthritis Doc. Thus
he phones L for a walk through
the park. “It’s so beautiful
this time of year!”
“Isn’t it beautiful?” she asks therein.
“Yeah it’s beautiful,” he affirms.
Labels: bachelor, date, dating, relationship, routine, women
Sunday, July 20, 2014
Approaching the Dating Scene
The clever people in Marcum's skull suddenly fled.
The last to leave being the fellow who asked Gwen,
"What time is it getting to be? My biological clock
has gone haywire!"
When he asked her out then, she went ice.
And such a warm creature!
But later, further ascertaining his new dopeyness, she accepted.
In fact, his dating calendar became full.
"It's true!" he informed Berkie, his close friend, "Inarticulate is the
new Flavor of the Month!"
"Have the girls gotten equally as stupid?"
"Nah, they're the same. Smart as hell! And Jean-Ann cuts the legs
out from under you with her wit!"
"You're a fad. Everybody'll get sick of you in no time.”
“You're hitting my fear!”
“It's no doubt. Then where'll you be?"
“Wherever they want! I'll adapt. “
"There's the conundrum! Is it easier to become somebody else if
you're dumb? Or if you're clever?"
“I don't know but I'll...!”
“You'll WHAT?”
“What we were saying.”
“I don't think so!”
Labels: dating, dating scene, dumb, men, wit, women
