Monday, September 18, 2017
Stay Misty For Me
--or the odds matter
Misty a bright acquisition!
Judge was optimistic about her
sticking.
He gave it 70-30.
But after the first week, and her
pouting after he couldn't obtain
tickets for Slammo & Chutzy...?
50-50.
After all, wasn't real anger, but
severely funked disappointment.
Even odds held another week.
Then she announced she was moving
to Freeport, and, thank you, needed
no help in doing it.
“Let's stay in touch!” brightened he
anyway.
“I'll be awful awful busy!”
So, not a chance. Plus, she put on her
determined face. Which, pretty as she
was, could still horrify children and
small dogs.
Well...plenty other games in town!
He was a realist in realizing the breakup
was partially his fault.
15-85.
But, really, what a Foursquare Bitch!
He had actually lucked out!
His new date, Larsy, asked him repeatedly,
"What did you say?"
She out-vagued the field.
Odds would take some thought in her case.
For their next good time, she showed up at Early
and Marcom, instead of Four Corners!
How long before she’d forget his very existence?
Anyway, he finally decided on 100-1 they’d
ever arrive anywhere.
About right. She finally left with a high junkie
as woefully scattered.
Our hero, yes, cried.
Isn’t it the accumulation of things that leads
us there?
10-1 we’ll all do it at some murky stage.
Or acute.
Will of the Almighty? I heard God and the
Angels washed their hands of relationships
worldwide.
Satan, though, keeps his oar in.
Propelling his Rowboat of Fools!
Labels: date, dating, fools, friendship, God, odds, rejection, relationship, Satan
Wednesday, May 11, 2016
...a dating post for Liberals.
McNally’s Tavern in Chestnut Hill
First time for Jerry, Accountant for
School District of Philadelphia, and
Nicole, French Teacher, Girls’ High.
Jerry: Trump will have deaths on
his hands! Old White Men choking
on their Reactionary gorge and
succumbing to strokes!
Nicole: It couldn’t happen to a
nicer bunch of Racists and Sexists!
Jerry: Oh well...maybe they believe
what they say.
Nicole: Merde merde merde!
Jerry: Ship out the remaining Republicans?
Nicole: Of course! Keep the immigrants instead!
They have good food!
Both pleased they seemed compatible.
Ordered JFK Sandwiches.
The front windows went from afterglow to black
as buses hissed along Germantown Avenue.
Both prefer Becks.
Labels: Becks, Chestnut Hill, date, Germantown, Girl' High, JFK, liberal, old white men, Philadelphia, reactionary, tavern
Saturday, July 25, 2015
Presences
The Important Question
-How about my Online Presence?
Or my OFFline Presence, or Anywhere,
Anyhow Presence? Any fuckin...!
-Please answer the question! Acting out
belongs on the next page.
-All my presences are shitty, shoddy, or
defunct!
-I wonder...how...do you ever get a date?
-Begging.
Labels: acting out, date, interview.online presence
Wednesday, April 01, 2015
In Another Country
-You have the right office, but the wrong country!
-Where have I been?
-I was about to ask.
-Touring England with a Beatles Tribute band.
-Which are you? They never had a Boris Karloff.
-I'm in the business end. And aren't you exaggerating
somewhat? A Brad Pitt I'm not, but...
-We'll put Boris on your license. No use using real names
just yet. New country and all.
-And starting crookedly?
-The more things change...
-What will this cost me?
-A dinner. Your money will only be stolen down the line.
-Ah hah! Girls still wanna have more fun?
-You got that right! Now put on your best Boris Karloff smile
while I snap a few digital beauties. I'll put it on the UN Approved Form, laminate same.
-Didn’t they go home after the referendum?
-Nope. Partying on! At any rate, they imported a French restaurant,
and we'll go there. There's nothing else in this shithole.
-Excuse YOUR French?
-No apology for accuracy.
-Bye the bye, why does it REALLY stink so?
-They closed the State Meatpacking Plant. Not too carefully.
-Another triumph of Socialism?
-Actually, was run by an American firm. So, Triumph of
Capitalism!
-They're running neck and neck.
-And, after dinner, what? Movie, Boris?
-I don't know. I guess. We're playing on an entirely new
field here!
-We'll make it familiar.
Labels: Beatles, Boris Karloff, Capitalism, date, Motor Vehicles, referendum, socialism, UN
Sunday, January 04, 2015
Dates of a Day
The Bachelor Rises
to sniff his shorts.
“They smell of me
and not of pee.”
Dinner with K last night
proved icy cold. Cross
her off! R will set up Coffee
later. Any fattening Danish
she desires: it’s Dutch.
That flops since her mother
requires her for a rush
trip to Arthritis Doc. Thus
he phones L for a walk through
the park. “It’s so beautiful
this time of year!”
“Isn’t it beautiful?” she asks therein.
“Yeah it’s beautiful,” he affirms.
Labels: bachelor, date, dating, relationship, routine, women
Monday, March 24, 2014
Where the Wind Goes
Rotational Date
-Opera shows the loves of large women.
-Like me?
-No, you're a sylph by comparison.
-Why all these large ones then?
-I think it’s the huge cavity for things to resonate in, and the lard
to hold it down so it doesn't fly outa control.
-Or...something.
-Yeah, I know, I'm...not smart. Opinions about everything, though.
-I've noticed.
-But how about you? Quiet. Do you run deep?
-Clash, more like.
-Oh well, the rule says half an hour. Mostly my blabbing
I know, but...
-I don't wish to meet anyone else.
-Well, you're defeating the purpose.
-That's the best thing you've said. Must you move to
another table?
-Not unless you force me.
-We're the best either of us can do.
-Speak for yourself. You're better than I can do.
-Let's get out of here and take a ride.
-Where...?
-Where the wind goes.
Labels: date, large women, meet and greet, opera, rules, Speed Dating, vulnerability
Sunday, September 01, 2013
The Third Way
Velvet Frog
Frenchy always found defective governor arms.
Down for two hours in which we smoked and
bullshitted while he worked and sang.
Laurette went out with him a few times.
“Its all flirty charm and manners, but no payoff.
You wait for the physical and it doesn’t, like, arrive.”
“Does the spiritual?”
“The physical IS the spiritual!”
“My ass!” responds Boss Harvey when Hairy Mac
relays their conversation. “Speaking of which, why...
not parade yours next time Frenchy replaces a
governor arm? Test him out.”
“You’re suspicioning he goes that way?”
“No...on second thought, not really. Hafta conclude
he doesn’t go any way.”
“Is that why he’s always so chirpy and happy?”
“Probably.”
Labels: date, French, happiness, sexuality, work
