Friday, November 24, 2017
The Van Winkle Cabin
Mom would stand no more!
The crazy uncles given their
Thanksgiving Dinner in the
Van Winkle Cabin.
Actually, it wasn't called
that right away.
But the first year after their
usual screaming quarrel, was.
Mike was the Liberal, Heck,
the Conservative.
Both several notches to the
Left and Right of Vlad Lenin
and Adolf Hitler, respectively.
When everyone in the house
pitched in and cleaned up,
a freak rainstorm almost
drowned out the untiring pair.
Then, graveyard quiet from the cabin.
And Mom sent sane sons, Jeff
and Blake to check for massive
blown fuses.
They reported the combatants
asleep, but, of course, all of
Science knows they continue
in suspended animation.
To awake every Thanksgiving Season.
The Historical Museum had wanted
the cabin before, but Mom had
resisted. Her great great great
grandparents having built it in the
stupendous Land Rush.
But the prospect of moving away the
yearly acid buffoonery of the crazy uncles
forced her, for family peace, to give it to
Dr Abernathy, Curator, in a nice ceremony.
The subsequent move on flatbed truck
disturbed no slumbers.
The physicians of Mercy Regional have
figured a way to revive them each
Thanksgiving Week.
Their unfailing fire boosting Museum giving
by a yearly 28 percent.
Labels: American Left, American Right, Historical Society, Hitler, insane relatives, Lenin, political argument, ruined dinners, Thanksgiving Dinner
Wednesday, September 06, 2017
Rt-Lft
-I wouldn’t screw her with your dick!
-What a lovely figure of speech?
Then again, you’re a lovely
figure of speech!
-Fuck the Fairy Talk!
-Heil Hitler!
-For sure! Hey! Some ball-less minister
says you’re spose to love me!
-That God is dead!
-Don’t you think Heaven is Open Carry? Really?
-If it is I’ll keep going!
------------
Hurricane Irma halts things after this, a bit.
Labels: God is dead, guns, Hitler, Left, open carry, Right
Thursday, July 27, 2017
-Even Hitler
wasn’t always Hitler.
-He loved the one German Shepherd dog.
-Blondie!
-Yes!
-Anyone who loves dogs and kills six
million Jews can’t be all bad!
-You’re Anti-Semitic!
-Subtly!
-The only subtle one to vote for Trump?
-Ja wohl!
Labels: anti-Semitic, anti-Semitic Right, dog, Hitler, Trump
Tuesday, July 25, 2017
Places
At home:
Her! Always.
He all but explodes
into a Hitler Salute daily.
But at work:
absorbs a score of
good mornings,
most fearful.
Goes it thus for years.
BOSS.
Enter, then, mincing:
Mistress.
And emotions ripped from
his fat chest.
Mme Hitler learns everything
and finds it hilarious. She does,
however, make sure of her future.
Divorce not necessary if he’s
locked in to this deal.
For now.
He signs.
Mistress acquires phantom illnesses.
Other two talk her down from sighs.
This is, however, not a nice story.
Gets worse no matter what
the parties essay.
Thank God nobody else cares!
Though they’re creative, actually.
(Last, wife works out condo deal
for amusing Mistress.)
The 3.
And get to liking that in each other.
Labels: arrangement, condo, divorce, Hitler, mistress, pact, triangle
Saturday, May 28, 2016
A Dolf That Will Live In Infamy!
not quite
-What're YOU? The little HITLER
around here?
He had heard that before, but
seldom ordered anyone around
irrationally.
Almost never. The Employee Reports,
in fact, asked for more assertion!
Oh well, he was mostly a solo act.
Troubleshooting Auditor sent in
when others smelled fish, but couldn't
pin the figures down.
Now he had to jolly Andi, his live-in
girlfriend. He did that pretty well--
for a tinpot dictator.
Then she insisted he slink around like
Chaplin or Groucho Marx, heiling the cats,
who popped in and out, enjoying the game.
It all ended in laughter. Whereupon he
did his best at sex.
-It's a strange world, and we're strange!
Andi always ended in such a formulation
before they slept.
Staring into the mirror like a Swedish actress.
He told her he had fun with it.
She informed him that he was her
Snuggle Bunny!
Soon asleep in tiny breaths, the cats
joining them one by one.
Labels: baby talk, cats, comedy, dictator, Hitler, psychodrama, routine, strange couple
Thursday, March 03, 2016
Woman He Loved--a Story of Nazis
and Sacrifice
-He gave up the Throne for the woman he loved!
-Uh huh? Then Heil-Hitlered the runt moustache. The mildest Brit demeanor, but with Fascist intention.
-Stow the vicious Politics and remain with Love! Makes the World go round! Ah!
-No way!
-What does then?
-Incompetence!
-British or American form?
-There will always be a Dingland!
Labels: Duke of Windsor, England, Hitler, love, Nazi, sacrifice, Throne, Wallis Simpson
Tuesday, August 11, 2015
May u live in interesting times
of course, no one SAID this it’s entirely make up
-As a Republican, I don’t like us calling each other Nazis!
-Hell no! That’s for the other party of welfare cheats and
assorted other Lefty thieves!...and their nasty blabbermouths,
queers and lady queers.
-I’d like t’invent a time machine and go back and fix it
that Hitler was never born!
-Yeah, but that’d be no good. We’d all be fuckin Jews!
Labels: Hitler, Jew, Left, Nazi, Nazi label, Republican, Right
Saturday, February 01, 2014
As Childhoods Lengthen
Trio
“One thing we will never miss is a college
graduation or a wedding.”
Rudd didn't respond at first. He still smarted
from her goose-step with horizontal finger under
the nose.
All to demonstrate what she took for his Hitlerian
sentiments. Well, he WAS our Righty. The Rolling
Righty!” she proclaimed several times.
I got into her line of sight as a Lefty. She'd ask,
“How many did you kill today, Uncle Joe?”
Then a Cossack dance, faster than possible.
Ever since childhood, she had entertained us, starting
with puppet shows.
Of course, as we got older she showed more edge.
When we left for college, Rudd was too sick.
"Well, Rudd, then the three of us must talk."
I winced.
She went on. "You're gonna die, no reason to think
otherwise, Honey. On the exit ramp. We love you and
all of that, so let's get that out of the way. But when
you're invited to our graduation or my wedding,
you must RSVP.”
“There should be a code. It's nobody else's business!”
I added.
So we decided on 19. Meaning very very sick
and can't make it. Or 7: I'll be there by hook
or crook.
Two sevens for graduation. He’s more wasted in
the wheelchair but getting by. Almost could slide
between the cushion and the steel.
Like a playing card.
When she got the 19 at her wedding, she showed it
to me during the reception. "He dead by now.
He's simply dead." She had been a red-eyed bride,
and I wondering why.
Labels: children, college, death, graduation, Hitler, Left, Right, Stalin, wedding, youth
Monday, June 20, 2011
Party of Rich Condescends to Debate
JOHN Q SUCKER
Your clients hammered me!
GOP
Fighting the last war! You lost, so get over it!
Morning in America, Asshole!
JOHN Q SUCKER
Just hafta make it through the night.
GOP
And you will! Slowly. Trickle-Down, Numbnuts!
JOHN Q SUCKER
Planning any Nuremberg rallies?
GOP
Bankrupt Lefty Line. We're not Hitler.
He was stupid, Birdbrain!
JOHN Q SUCKER
Your clients hammered me!
GOP
Fighting the last war! You lost, so get over it!
Morning in America, Asshole!
JOHN Q SUCKER
Just hafta make it through the night.
GOP
And you will! Slowly. Trickle-Down, Numbnuts!
JOHN Q SUCKER
Planning any Nuremberg rallies?
GOP
Bankrupt Lefty Line. We're not Hitler.
He was stupid, Birdbrain!
Labels: culture war, GOP, Hitler, Nuremberg, Trickle-Down
Wednesday, December 22, 2010
Necessary Historical Element
Beaming Hitler arrives
for routine ceremonial
in long, open limousine,
is extracted to assume
flowers from lively pretties.
Then subordinates
catapult out from it.
To asskissers,
every mission hot.
