Friday, September 21, 2018
French Question
Will the Republicans
Tartuffe up
to save the sordid ass
of yet another one?
Labels: comedy, Conservative, French Comedy, politics, religious hypocrisy, Republican, Supreme Court, Tartuffe
Thursday, March 16, 2017
Recycling
“They both turned
to gaze
for a moment
at the corpse. . .
It remained
laughing there
in the grass”*
Not enough given
to the comedic
aspect
of war. Dead clowns
as an example.
*Steven Crane’s words
Labels: allusion, clowns, comedy, Crane, death, literary allusion, Red Badge of Courage, war, war as comedy
Saturday, May 28, 2016
A Dolf That Will Live In Infamy!
not quite
-What're YOU? The little HITLER
around here?
He had heard that before, but
seldom ordered anyone around
irrationally.
Almost never. The Employee Reports,
in fact, asked for more assertion!
Oh well, he was mostly a solo act.
Troubleshooting Auditor sent in
when others smelled fish, but couldn't
pin the figures down.
Now he had to jolly Andi, his live-in
girlfriend. He did that pretty well--
for a tinpot dictator.
Then she insisted he slink around like
Chaplin or Groucho Marx, heiling the cats,
who popped in and out, enjoying the game.
It all ended in laughter. Whereupon he
did his best at sex.
-It's a strange world, and we're strange!
Andi always ended in such a formulation
before they slept.
Staring into the mirror like a Swedish actress.
He told her he had fun with it.
She informed him that he was her
Snuggle Bunny!
Soon asleep in tiny breaths, the cats
joining them one by one.
Labels: baby talk, cats, comedy, dictator, Hitler, psychodrama, routine, strange couple
Thursday, November 19, 2015
Taste In Everything
-We still pouring boiling coffee on him?
-His religion forbids in any form.
-That may be, but if you’re on the next shift,
one sugar!
-You gotta be MC, next banquet!
-I’m not funny. Life is.
-Both!
-But listen, Ludge, Sumatran Elite? Employees buy the coffee around here and...!
-You want Safeway generic?
-Hell yeah!
-Remember, Jerome, it’s our country we’re talking about here!
Labels: CIA, coffee, comedy, interrogation techniques, patriotism, Safeway, Sumatran, torture
Saturday, July 18, 2015
Abstract Discussion
-"Funny" abstracts. Takes that element out.
-From what? The general mess of things?
-Perhaps so. Look at Mash. Hot Lips and that
stick of a Major.
-You're tilting. Saying it in such a way that...
-Aren't we always?
-Depends.
-On what?
-How many squares make a circle.
-There's two here.
Labels: abstraction, comedy, funny, square
Saturday, February 07, 2015
The Rare Comedians of Rapid Falls
-The dentist drilled for decay as I said.
Down deep in my head!
-You usually speak in deathless prose.
But, exquisite poetry?
-A mere bagatelle.
-But, there’s a fly in your universal Jello.
-Howso?
-Wouldn’t GET decay if you brushed and flossed
assiduously.
-I’m as big an assiduous as the next guy!
-And you take days off from the process to inhale hangover fumes.
-Not many!
-Okay, so you’re a top-flight brusher and flosser, really!
The Lady Dentists will feature you at their convention.
In a brilliant glass case. Revolving.
-Me or the case?
-Both, in opposite directions.
-Christ! Vertigo!
-That’s for another kind of convention. Or film.
-And when they turn the lights out, do I hafta stay
in the case?
-Nein! They have their will of you then!
-Jesus! Can one get Viagra over the counter?
-Never you! The community must be protected.
-Be quiet while I’m practicing revolving.
-Fine! I’m making out the card for your display.
-Master Flosser?
-Asshole.
-All great men get hurt. But...should I wave? Thusly?
-Like the Pope saying “Get those fuckin peasants
off the grass!”
-No! More modesty-honesty. See? I can fake that best.
-People will little remember what we say here.
-That’s because they got sense.
Labels: brush, comedian, comedy, convention, dentist, floss, poetry, Pope, prose, Viagra
Saturday, May 31, 2014
Wuzawoowuz!
“I sold rights to it to Charlie Hokk. He put it on T-Shirts, mugs,
the whole smear!
Would you believe that then I had to pay him a thousand each
time I said it in the act? And it was once my trademark phrase!
I tried others, of course, but came back to it. Adoring public!
So, I made a mistake. And the million he paid me was all pissed
away anyhow. C’est la...whatever. Win some, lose some. Others
called off due to Acid Rain! Hey! Wuzawoowuz!-–can say it cuz
it cost me nothing in private conversation.
How did I become a comedian?
Everybody laughed at me growing up! Got to like the sound.
That’s AT me, not with me?
So what? Who gives a shit? You wear yourself out worrying
about crap like that.
Wuzawoowuz!
Can I put it on my tombstone? Well, that’s advertising medium too!
Maybe he’ll relent to acknowledge the public’s love of me.
Yeah, love. Don’t act so shocked!”
Labels: comedian, comedy, laughing, saying
Sunday, February 09, 2014
The Future of Comedy
and of Transplants
-Go ahead and get a head transplant if you want.
About foolproof, and you'll be handsome for the first
time in your life!
-Consumer Reports recommends Ajax.
-Do they mention teeth? Some outfits are putting in crap teeth
since competition heated up.
-Nothing about teeth. By the way, what’s Ajax god of?
-Assholes!
-That's wrong image.
-Just teasing.
-Well don't! Whole process has me totally nervous!
Labels: Ajax, comedy, future, teeth, transplant
