Wednesday, April 12, 2017
Claim In Usual Mode
Started each morning with
a mock toast of coffee:
“With charity towards none,
and malice towards all.”
A Republican, felt the greater
claim to Lincoln’s words.
Especially in parody.
Labels: Charity, Lincoln, malice, parody, Republican, Republican Humor, sarcasm
Friday, September 25, 2015
Pope arrives in Fiat
Maybe our big shots could settle for Chevvies?
Nope. Caddys and Lincolns. Often in their monster
SUV configurations.
And reinforced, since Ay-rabs might plant roadside
bombs, or open up with AK-47s. Or both.
Why not opt for surplus General Patton Tanks?
Clank clank clank come our Public Officials!
Easy to get private money to pay.
Can still have Patriotism when expecting a little back!
Labels: Arab, Cadillac, Chevrolet, fat, Lincoln, patriotism, Patton Tank, Pope, Pope"s Fiat
Tuesday, July 28, 2015
Illi-nigh
-How can that be?
-We get it ready before he or she takes office.
-Ever been wrong?
-Yes! When the individual serves the people and not the party.
-Not in recent memory then?
-Lincoln in.
Labels: Illinois, Lincoln, party, people, political corruption
Monday, January 05, 2015
Three Suspect Pairs
Brace of Wits
-The woman who screws routinely routinely screws.
-I’d a-thought she’d get good at it.
-That’s your Achilles’ Heel!
-What’s my...?
-What you just said.
-I forgot it. Oh! Do you mean...?
-Thinking.
-We both need work there.
---
Ripsey and Suds
-First thing I win the twenty million on Powerball,
I register Republican!
-So fast?
-Gonna turn asshole anyway, might as well
go for it!
---
Biff and Gladys
-People will little note what we said here.
-There’s a reason.
Labels: Achilles, Gettysburg Address, Lincoln, Powerball, promiscuity, Republican
Tuesday, October 01, 2013
Integrating Prevarications
Writing the Speech
-Whoa! Whoa! Whoa! If we're gonna lie, let's
just keep the fuckin things straight!
-Don't you think Lincoln lied?
-Not much. The party was new then. Before racist
assholes, and their brethren thumping the Bible
with one hand and jerking off with the other.
-Uh huh? Well, put on your big boy pants, Mel.
You really need those you degrade. You're in the
fight of your life!
-Again? Every election seems to be.
-With that whiny attitude I’m like to label you
a Pussy Democrat!
-I no longer know what I am.
Labels: "Party of Lincoln", bible thumpers., election, Lincoln, Modern Republican Party.Tea Party, political lying, Racist Republicans, Republican
Wednesday, March 06, 2013
Vulgar Strategy
-We're running you as fuckin Mr Smith goes
to fuckin Washington.
-A certain euphony, but I'm not a boyscout
or boyscout leader.
-Who cares about that shit?
-And Jimmy Stewart was a rail. I'm challenged
in the avoirdupois department.
-Forget all that! Video of you staring and teary
at the Lincoln Memorial! There's ten thousand
votes without lifting a finger! Your fresh eyes!
-My eyes as jaded as an old whore's! Hey I
represented trade associations. Been here
hundreds of times.
-Let it go!
-A lobbyist!
-Don't know this word.
Labels: boyscout, Jimmy Stewart, Lincoln, lobbyist, Mr Smith, political strategy, Washington
Thursday, November 22, 2012
Defining Moments
When the new ballpark opened, our gang hit the open house. Actually taking turns at the batting cage, like our high-paid heroes.
Jixxy performed his usual athletic mishmash,
but cheered the rest of us.
He passed that night.
I thought, when coherent, an autopsy with one so young? But Doc confided,
“Nah. Bad heart since a kid, in the family.
Knew his days were numbered and spent
them in...well, love really.”
I spoke at the service about Lincoln’s phrase:
with charity for all.
Felt inadequate after, that my words not much.
But my girlfriend, Fay, whispered, “You were great, what you said!...well, Lincoln and Jixxy belong in the same breath is all. But I just can't be like them. I just can’t. I try, but...
God knows I try!”
“Nah. Bad heart since a kid, in the family.
Knew his days were numbered and spent
them in...well, love really.”
I spoke at the service about Lincoln’s phrase:
with charity for all.
Felt inadequate after, that my words not much.
But my girlfriend, Fay, whispered, “You were great, what you said!...well, Lincoln and Jixxy belong in the same breath is all. But I just can't be like them. I just can’t. I try, but...
God knows I try!”
Then she exploded in tears and I didn’t know if it was for Jixxy or her or everything.
Labels: Baseball, death, funeral, insight, Lincoln
Friday, March 30, 2012
Two Political Wags Tackle the Vicious
-Then we agree that the present atmosphere
couldn't be much worse?
-Lincoln said we should rely on our better angels.
-Do they still exist?
-Bought out by corporatists and outsourced.
-Where to?
-What's the difference? Some place where no
self-respecting dog'd take a shit.
-And I was pondering a vacation there with the
ball and chain and little monsters.
-One can be unhappy anywhere, though
I still prefer a location where you don't see
dog shit to the horizon.
-I thought you said...
-I said self-respecting dogs. Like us.
-Then we agree that the present atmosphere
couldn't be much worse?
-Lincoln said we should rely on our better angels.
-Do they still exist?
-Bought out by corporatists and outsourced.
-Where to?
-What's the difference? Some place where no
self-respecting dog'd take a shit.
-And I was pondering a vacation there with the
ball and chain and little monsters.
-One can be unhappy anywhere, though
I still prefer a location where you don't see
dog shit to the horizon.
-I thought you said...
-I said self-respecting dogs. Like us.
Labels: Lincoln, outsourcing, poisonous atmosphere
Monday, October 05, 2009
If The South Had Won
Lincoln in show-trial con-
victed of High Treason.
Not shot: Martyrdom'd slow
Reconstruction in North. So,
left to rot. Speed the sepia
reel ahead to our colored frame.
“Debate” in Congress
about allowing chosen
slaves to use computers.
Listen to the voices! Expecting
Southern ones, but most vocal
possess Northeastern accents,
calling for safeguards.
Where are Abolitionists?
Executed in patriotic haste,
families perpetually disgraced.
Conservative happiness reigns
in the land! Grace.
All know place.
Labels: Civil War, Lincoln, Slavery
