Saturday, May 14, 2016
Voices
Rudge heard indistinct voices in the wind.
Or perhaps on the wind. Actual ones picked
up somewhere and flung at him.
Young Hector told him that he could
tell what they were saying.
He could do this in Spanish
when a child, and in English now.
They were angry, he claimed, about
being stuck somewhere. Forever!
Rudge uh-huhed, more fixed by
Hector's liquid brown eyes.
Lorky maintained he heard them
when there was no wind. Hector
knew that this was a separate
set of voices, light and happy.
So everyone wasn't miserable
in the other world?
Lorky certainly wasn't, here, under
those brown eyes!
The two men became exceeding
jealous of each other's time
with Hector. They began sniping
in all matters.
Lorky finally erupted: "I thought
I had left women because they
were too muddled and emotional,
and now I see that men are worse!
I'm going back to Cecilia. Let her be
the pain in the ass and balls she's
always been!"
After a bit, she was allowed to join
our bunch. Proved scattered but charming.
Most of the talk about her.
"Loco!" pronounced Hector. The brown eyes
turning hard.
Voices left.
Labels: female, hearing voices, Hispanic, male, male triangle, voices
Saturday, February 27, 2016
Squeeze
George liked the era of touchie-feely while it
lasted. The office’s buxom women were never
safe from him.
He secretly called them his “Squeezes.”
That was in the language then. Some men,
and women too, having “Main Squeezes.”
His desire to have one led him to several
mistakes. No need to detail, just mistakes
that both parties acknowledge and move on.
It was also an era of amiable breakups.
“Facing reality” it was tabbed.
Things went along this relatively smooth highway.
Until Carlotta. Who never danced with a rose
between her teeth, but should have.
A Fireball!
Unfortunately she went batshit crazy. Her parents
drove down from Albany area to fetch her back.
They were quite genteel and not in the least Hispanic.
Hardly the Mad Lopez Clan from TV.
Smoothed down to generic suburban.
George felt immense guilt. He had never driven
a woman insane before. Like a movie!
And...shaken! Started hanging out with old bachelors,
Detts and Wally, and they hit the hockey games and
drank after.
The usual topic of conversation at the Arena Tavern
after was the team, of course, but it degenerated
to the subject of certifiable women
Soon after, they were joined by Vivian, a woman, full-fledged
in a way, but also a tomboy comprised of jutting angles
and therefore not squeezable in the least. She cheered
and swore and agreed her Sex crackpots.
But one day she went early to the game, to be joined
by them. And talked to a shy Canadian farmboy who
had just joined the team.
This became custom, and she began wearing dresses
and applying minimum makeup.
After a year, the Rangers called him up, and she
joined him in New York and they married.
Great for George and the gang because they got
guest tickets and were willing to take on the
long drive.
Then he met Dilly, who wasn’t nuts.
He had applied a smartphone app he had bought,
and she came out as an eleven percent possibility
of going insane. In the normal range.
Another worthwhile development in this timeframe.
He encountered Budge, who had worked with Carlotta.
“You?” he laughed, “drove her nuts? Not bloody likely!”
And told him that Carlotta had carried on with “Shaunessy-
the-Handsome,” Office Lothario. “Was him made her whacko!”
So, Main Squeeze who isn’t nuts, and old guilt lifted. Life is good!
Labels: Hispanic, hockey, insane woman, insanity, Main Squeeze, squeeze, tomboy
Wednesday, September 02, 2015
Requiring Hypocrisy
-So I’m to go 180 and blast my signature issue?
Which really represents us all! Our pride!
-Sorry. You owe. And we need you.
-For the Party? What kind of party goes back on itself?
Its hallowed, traditional word!
-One which survives.
-Well I won’t! I’ll go Third Party! Campaign on a bicycle!
The Last Honest...!
-We got a room where we scrap Don or Donna Quixotes.
-I can win!
-Uh huh? And another room for whoever helps you, your
Sancho Panzas.
-You’re exclusive in all else, but not in revenge!
-Hispanic Inclusion! Let’s welcome Spicks all to hell!
Labels: campaigning, Congress, Don Quixote, Hispanic, party, party line, Sancho Panza, Third Party
Sunday, January 11, 2015
Aiding an Other
“You got the world on a string, Carlos!
Unfortunately, it's a greasy one!”
Glenda's last remark as she embarked
on a sales trip.
Puzzled, he asked Monette. "Oh she's just
Othering. It's what we do to those not
True-Blue American Idiots."
“But I am! A citizen!”
“Just a fact. We're talking about perceptions.”
“Well, how do I...?”
“Listen! For a start, go to the football game
tonight with my brother. He's a Uniformed
Fireman. Helps carry that humongous flag.
Covers the whole field! With soldiers, sailors,
cops, those patriotic by profession.”
“And me? Great!”
“Well, not exactly, uh, across the field for you.
You'll be a Flag Wrangler, dragging it off the
truck with other Others, wrestling it through
the gate, unfolding the whole massive thing
for the washed ones to get under it. Hoist it.
March it billowing out. Ah!”
"Washed-unwashed? You're starting to sound
like Glenda!”
“You're not a Spick Terrorist are you?”
“Monette! I trusted you!”
“I'm sorry. Just a brief fit. It’s in the genes!”
Labels: greasy, Hispanic, Other, Othering, patriotism, prejudice, spick, terrorist
Monday, August 25, 2014
American Song
Core Scat
Back on the plantation, hey hey hey,
were important and controlled,
but today? Hey hey hey,
would the Cullids go away?
Yellows next cuz their food
stinks so. Ho ho ho!
Get more ships and planes for
Spicks. But take the knives away.
They can talk to each other,
Hey hey hey!
In that endless babble of theirs
all the way to wherever.
Some Hell anywayz!
Or they’ll make it so,
like our other pretty groups.
Hey hey hey. Ho ho ho.
Hava cuppa Joe
and toast ‘em all with
a comfortable sigh. Hey
hey hey and ho ho ho,
fuckin forever! True?
You seen the light? It’s
Bright White, Baby!
Labels: black, Hispanic, Oriental, plantation, scat, White Power
Monday, August 18, 2014
Meeting Lovely Men
Bert and Gert
-Now you take Karl. Hates Jews and Blacks
and Spicks and Women and Gays...uh,
Moslems of any sex and shade.
-Covers the Waterfront. And afterthoughts.
-But is open about it all and funny!
His wisecracks about Political Correctness
are hilarious. Does one witty routine there.
-Comedian of Hate.
-You're overstating! Especially since he's
the loveliest guy you'll ever meet.
-I've met lovelier.
Labels: black, hate, Hispanic, humor, Jew, Political Correctness, women
Friday, May 30, 2014
Champion of Whatever
Solon and Aide
-Whatever happened to Fiercely Independent Champion
of the Working Man and Woman?
-Not a thing. You keep saying it!
-Won't your Wall Street Bankers get pissed?
-You don't get to be a Wall Street Banker unless you
know everything is bullshit.
-Or a Senator?
-Church Dude...whatever. You name it!
-And your favorite movie, The Sound of Music?
-And you’re (sings) a bird that is learning to sing.
-The NRA wants me blasted away.
-No rhyming in the office!
-Where do you stand on Gun Control?
-I don’t stand anywhere. For anything. I persuade.
-What are you persuading your gun nuts to...?
-Not to bring a bazooka to a pea-shooting contest.
-The latter weapon will be a great help when the black
and Hispanic Marauders come down the hill!
-I’m persuading ‘em: Stay up there!
-Let’s start casting you as Peacemaker!
-Bi-fuckin-partisan!
Labels: black, bullshit, compromise, gun control, Hispanic, NRA, senator, Wall Street, Working Man, Working Woman
Monday, February 03, 2014
The Place of Hispanics
in The Happy Shop
-I wanna hire him. Lotza promise!
-But that accent! I mean we got clients who’d say “Don’t
have that spick call me again!”
-Accent will fade. I really think we have future CEO material
with him. Get by the accent, and he’s the most impressive
candidate we’ve had in a good while.
-Please let It go! Practically the whole interviewing committee
got up and did a kind of flamenco when he left! Even Laurette
clenched a pencil with a plastic daisy on the end between
her teeth, and stomped about like a fiery, fallen woman!
And with Jiggers and Itsy fashioning castanets of sorts from
staplers. Hilarious with those fatsos! Itsy has to be restrained
from taking off his shirt! Well, effort not quite successful.
He unbuttons it, and a cascade of pink bellies! I’m crying by then!
So, you can see, be too embarrassing if this José Gonzalez
comes on board!
-That’s not his name.
-Generic.
Labels: CEO, dance, flamenco, hiring, Hispanic, HR
Thursday, February 14, 2013
Raw Comedians As Political Consultants
-Rubio not ready for prime time.
-Who cares? It’s early.
-Somebody said he looks like the future and
talks like your grandfather.
-Those are our core ideas. Throw them out you got freakin
peasant Democrat. Besides he can say them in Spanish.
-Another jambony says he should beCOME a Democrat.
For electability.
-Hey! Let them get their own spick! And his handlers falling
down already. He voted wrong on Violence Against
Women Act. You get one broad pissed...you never just
get one.
-Anyway, what’s coming up the pike someday?
Both candidates talking Cam-bo-did-ee-on?
-Cam-bo-did-ee-on, huh? Your depth of ignorance inspires.
-Thank you. It’s my American Birthright.
Labels: Hispanic, Republican, Rubio, Spanish, TV, Violence Against Women, women
Wednesday, January 23, 2013
Dialog…somewhat
-The Vaginal-Probe,
Fuck-Leroy-and-José
Party keeps a-wonderin’ how
it lost.
-Oh yeah? Well I’m one of
‘em. You see
that hill out there?
-Could hardly miss.
-Well when waves of Josés and
Leroys
start comin’ down it…!
-Waves of Josés has a ring.
-They’ll hear something like.
-Wave of women proceeding
too?
-Probably. Some ones
resembling ‘em anyways.
Biologically.
-Wow! That last word! Six
syllables!
-Keep underrating us!
-That wouldn’t be possible.
Uh, will I…
taste lead too?
-If you’re in the last wave.
Liberals, Democrats,
Communists, Socialists.
-You left out professors.
-Same thing. And hey, for the
spicks and blacks,
AK47’ll do just fine. For you
and fellow pansies:
rocket launcher!
-Ouchie! But un-itch your
finger. I won’t climb the ramparts to augment, or advance with, any of my
types. Too soft-headed. They keep losing their keys, and the
war won’t wait for hysterical searches!
-Stay on the sidelines then!
-I’m seeing wonders from
here!
Labels: black, guns, Hispanic, Left, paranoid, Paranoid Right
Wednesday, March 21, 2012
All Heart
-The stable boys are acting up! They want quarter
more an hour.
-I’m on the fuckin phone all morning screaming! And you
bring me this, Chubby? Fire every fuckin one!
-Now, Chief.
-Now Chief my ass! What's next after uppity spicks?
-Be some trouble replacing...
-Your problem. Don't bother me. What Spanish for
You’re fired?
.....
-Their spokesman, Jose begged me to--
-Your typical fat heart! Let him talk then, Chubby. I won't understand a word anyway.
-Please, Sir...
-Staring at his feet. Get that, Chubby! It's Dickens
or something. Cap in hand! OK, give them another
dime an hour. Get him out of here before he starts
to thank me.
...
-They're lucky wasn’t my father or grandfather: Cut the
wages in half! Well, what the hell! We live in more
enlightened times. And I’m the tender heart. More bark
than bite, I know. Oh what the hell! They knew they were dealing with a softy. I’ve lost millions with this heart
of mine!
-The stable boys are acting up! They want quarter
more an hour.
-I’m on the fuckin phone all morning screaming! And you
bring me this, Chubby? Fire every fuckin one!
-Now, Chief.
-Now Chief my ass! What's next after uppity spicks?
-Be some trouble replacing...
-Your problem. Don't bother me. What Spanish for
You’re fired?
.....
-Their spokesman, Jose begged me to--
-Your typical fat heart! Let him talk then, Chubby. I won't understand a word anyway.
-Please, Sir...
-Staring at his feet. Get that, Chubby! It's Dickens
or something. Cap in hand! OK, give them another
dime an hour. Get him out of here before he starts
to thank me.
...
-They're lucky wasn’t my father or grandfather: Cut the
wages in half! Well, what the hell! We live in more
enlightened times. And I’m the tender heart. More bark
than bite, I know. Oh what the hell! They knew they were dealing with a softy. I’ve lost millions with this heart
of mine!
Labels: 1%, Hispanic, labor relations
Friday, October 21, 2011
Two Opposite Operators
-Even if the economy is zero, you lose on demographics.
Hard to find a Hispanic you haven't offended.
-Nineteen thick-skinned Cubans in Miami are sticking!
-O and won’t you be out a long long time? Sharing the
self-righteous tent with pseudo-religious jerkoffs, and
reactionaries pining for the day when you could
whip the workers.
-Skip the hyperbole, what's the cure?
-Simple. Just become the party of Lincoln once more, thus
assigning us to the wilderness for generations.
-Even if the economy is zero, you lose on demographics.
Hard to find a Hispanic you haven't offended.
-Nineteen thick-skinned Cubans in Miami are sticking!
-O and won’t you be out a long long time? Sharing the
self-righteous tent with pseudo-religious jerkoffs, and
reactionaries pining for the day when you could
whip the workers.
-Skip the hyperbole, what's the cure?
-Simple. Just become the party of Lincoln once more, thus
assigning us to the wilderness for generations.
Labels: demographics, Hispanic, Party of Lincoln
Monday, July 20, 2009
At GOP Club
-We got in a box on that Hispanic nominee. Lean over backwards for the immigrant bashers while grabbing the departing Spicks.
-And we didn’t need another of our sex scandals to erupt!
-Never be caught with a dead girl or a live boy.
-Mixing our subjects, that new waiter is cute.
-He’s Juan. I didn’t know you were Juan too–quoting an old, sick pun.
-Yourself?
-We got in a box on that Hispanic nominee. Lean over backwards for the immigrant bashers while grabbing the departing Spicks.
-And we didn’t need another of our sex scandals to erupt!
-Never be caught with a dead girl or a live boy.
-Mixing our subjects, that new waiter is cute.
-He’s Juan. I didn’t know you were Juan too–quoting an old, sick pun.
-Yourself?
Labels: GOP, Hispanic, immigration, sex scandal
Thursday, May 28, 2009
Latin Life
PARTY OPERATOR
Some inevitable Hispanic bashing must come along with this
Supreme Court nominee.
LATIN LEGISLATOR
Waste! Just playing to the racist core. Will the talk radio
idiots speak in fractured accents also?
PO
And bring back Speedy Gonzales jokes? Maybe not that far.
LL
Farther. Anyway, by all means let’s alienate another group!
And peel off some more women for good measure.
PO
We can’t just roll over. Wrong in practice, wrong in principle.
LL
Tell that to Luis having his morning Cuban coffee on Calle Ocho.
PO
I know your Luis and his ilk. Loudmouth in both languages.
Even both at once! Why he’s his own inter-racial dialog!
LL
That’s a stereotype!
PO
Yeah. And Miami loaded with ‘em!–most with knives.
LL
Man! You and your Whites-Only ILK leading my Republicans to extinction.
PO
Relax. You’ll get your Spic after all the noise. But let us have
the noise. We love it! You gotta put up with the collateral damage
to your precious Latinos.
LL
It never ends. And after all the fights we fought...!
PO
Never won in total...maybe when you achieve the same
moral standards as Caucasians?
LL
Thanks for that elevating thought. I’ll explain it to Luis--
once he calms down of course.
PO
Now don’t take me too seriously. I’m mostly teasing. It’s a joke.
Everything’s a big joke. That’s what you gotta learn, black, white,
brown or whatever.
LL
Whatever.
PARTY OPERATOR
Some inevitable Hispanic bashing must come along with this
Supreme Court nominee.
LATIN LEGISLATOR
Waste! Just playing to the racist core. Will the talk radio
idiots speak in fractured accents also?
PO
And bring back Speedy Gonzales jokes? Maybe not that far.
LL
Farther. Anyway, by all means let’s alienate another group!
And peel off some more women for good measure.
PO
We can’t just roll over. Wrong in practice, wrong in principle.
LL
Tell that to Luis having his morning Cuban coffee on Calle Ocho.
PO
I know your Luis and his ilk. Loudmouth in both languages.
Even both at once! Why he’s his own inter-racial dialog!
LL
That’s a stereotype!
PO
Yeah. And Miami loaded with ‘em!–most with knives.
LL
Man! You and your Whites-Only ILK leading my Republicans to extinction.
PO
Relax. You’ll get your Spic after all the noise. But let us have
the noise. We love it! You gotta put up with the collateral damage
to your precious Latinos.
LL
It never ends. And after all the fights we fought...!
PO
Never won in total...maybe when you achieve the same
moral standards as Caucasians?
LL
Thanks for that elevating thought. I’ll explain it to Luis--
once he calms down of course.
PO
Now don’t take me too seriously. I’m mostly teasing. It’s a joke.
Everything’s a big joke. That’s what you gotta learn, black, white,
brown or whatever.
LL
Whatever.
Labels: Hispanic, Supreme Court
