Saturday, October 31, 2009
TB Stole Chopin at 39
Maybe there's a bank
of years and you’re due
the ones he didn't use.
For what? Genius? That
bent frame? Strange con-
cern. Raging at art & not
judging yourself. Do that
without jail time,
you be just fine.
Friday, October 30, 2009
Righties Relish
their comedic gifts. Radio
skit: pregnant woman
phones "Obamacare."
To those sharing randy
tantrums, funny.
Labels: "Obamacare.", Right Wing Radio
Thursday, October 29, 2009
Comedy on Wall Street
-Some columnist wants you to go on TV and explain what you do, and why you’re paid so much.
-John Q interested huh? Whether he knows it or not.
-What would you say, Chief? With all due respect.
-See this right arm? I’d demonstrate how I apply Vaseline to get it even further up his ass!
-I thank God every night that I work here. Nobody knows how funny you are!
-Not trying to be.
-Some columnist wants you to go on TV and explain what you do, and why you’re paid so much.
-John Q interested huh? Whether he knows it or not.
-What would you say, Chief? With all due respect.
-See this right arm? I’d demonstrate how I apply Vaseline to get it even further up his ass!
-I thank God every night that I work here. Nobody knows how funny you are!
-Not trying to be.
Labels: Wall Street
Wednesday, October 28, 2009
Shame
To a Conservative, vast,
innumerable categories.
To a Liberal, not so
across the board.
Labels: Conservative, liberal, shame
Tuesday, October 27, 2009
A Columnist Writes, Before &
After Sensitivity Training
BEFORE
“Thailand, and women engage in a tea
ceremony, or some other useless waste of time
women, and homosexuals, seem enamored of.”
AFTER
“Thailand, and women engage in a tea
ceremony, or some other useless waste of time
women, and homosexuals, seem enamored of.”
Labels: Sensitivity Training
Monday, October 26, 2009
Noblesse Oblige, True, Truer, Truest
It's easy not
to wait in pain,
Pronouncing THEY can
always go to the Emergency Room.
It's easy not
to wait in pain,
Pronouncing THEY can
always go to the Emergency Room.
Labels: medical care, medical insurance
Sunday, October 25, 2009
Buck Buck! How Many Fingers Up?
One leans against a wall,
as far away from it
as he can.
Another leans against him in
the same pose, gripping him
around the waist and presently,
another one or two or more. Then
a player takes off running,
leaps upon that chain with
as much might as possible,
(Big one gets the whole chain
groaning) followed by members of
his team piling on. Whereupon,
buck question gets asked.
And if the one against
the wall answers correctly,
his team becomes runners
and the failed leapers must
assume the interlocked mules’
positions. That’s the kids’ game
and variations abound.
Metaphoric comparisons too,
many, of course, in politics.
Labels: children's games
Saturday, October 24, 2009
Two Classic Films
Third Man still shades Citizen Kane in
my judgment, with its vile characters
rushing huge against floodlit ruins.
Gritty postwar utter exhaustion.
The wickedness, and crushed innocence,
work-a-day military straining underdepravity and political burlesque.
But the American film more specifically prophetic.*
*...decent, hard-working people in this community...
robbed blind by a pack of money-mad pirates...
Labels: Citizen Kane, film, Third Man
Friday, October 23, 2009
Old & New Lines Enliven Fashion Show
REPUBLICAN: We don’t need any more laws on the books.
Just enforce the one we have, cowards!
DEMOCRAT: We need more laws since your rich scum-
buddies have amoral, silk-stocking lawyers successfully intriguing to evade the old ones.
Labels: Democrat, Law, Republican
Thursday, October 22, 2009
Audiences
Between steaming right
wing turds compris-
ing late night AM,
prostate commercials
targeting so-weary trips
to the can as clock radios
stress their red digits.
Between steaming right
wing turds compris-
ing late night AM,
prostate commercials
targeting so-weary trips
to the can as clock radios
stress their red digits.
Labels: prostate, Right Wing Radio
Wednesday, October 21, 2009
Golden Bridge Over Turbid Waters
When big politicians vicious-
ly criticized, I often give half
a pass, thinking
of those countless
hours in tiny districts' fog-
bound meetings. Of course,
nonpareils among them skipped
such minutiae, giving speeches
full of blinding logic instead.
Their grunts and pencil pushers
bask in the greater magnificence
of plumb genius, the golden bridges
over turbid waters. They sigh at length.
Party leaders refer to their
Intellectual Royalty
as knuckleheads.
Labels: party politics
Tuesday, October 20, 2009
Right-Thinking*
The power of holding two contradictory beliefs
in one's mind simultaneously,
and accepting both of them....
To tell deliberate lies while genuinely believing in them,
to forget any fact that has become inconvenient, and then,
when it becomes necessary again, to draw it back from oblivion
for just so long as it is needed, to deny
the existence of objective reality
and all the while to take account of the reality
which one denies.
The lie always one leap ahead of the truth.
*Orwell rearranged
The power of holding two contradictory beliefs
in one's mind simultaneously,
and accepting both of them....
To tell deliberate lies while genuinely believing in them,
to forget any fact that has become inconvenient, and then,
when it becomes necessary again, to draw it back from oblivion
for just so long as it is needed, to deny
the existence of objective reality
and all the while to take account of the reality
which one denies.
The lie always one leap ahead of the truth.
*Orwell rearranged
Monday, October 19, 2009
Under This Administration
As in far-flung every-
where, we must be
alert to Mission Creep
in Afghanistan. Un-
der Republicans, tab
it Missionary Creep.
As in far-flung every-
where, we must be
alert to Mission Creep
in Afghanistan. Un-
der Republicans, tab
it Missionary Creep.
Labels: Mission Creep, Republican
Under This Administration
As in far-flung every-
where, we must be
alert to Mission Creep
in Afghanistan. Un-
der Republicans, tab
it Missionary Creep.
As in far-flung every-
where, we must be
alert to Mission Creep
in Afghanistan. Un-
der Republicans, tab
it Missionary Creep.
Labels: Mission Creep, Republican
Sunday, October 18, 2009
Women Who Can't Shit
then, alternatively, can,
are promised relief
by Activia Yogurt.
Over-promised, Gov
says, though organisms
could help intestinally. Well,
the usual crap shoot: try-
ing anything for health.
No spokesperson arises
from the women claiming
It's ok, we're used to
shitty assurances.
then, alternatively, can,
are promised relief
by Activia Yogurt.
Over-promised, Gov
says, though organisms
could help intestinally. Well,
the usual crap shoot: try-
ing anything for health.
No spokesperson arises
from the women claiming
It's ok, we're used to
shitty assurances.
Labels: intestinal
Saturday, October 17, 2009
Village Romance
When S upset his
routine of countless
years for love, result
proved catastrophic.
In a death grip of the lady
hanging from her blond hair
high up in a monster oak.
Coast Guard Lt Lila Grady
said a rogue wave never
traveled that far inland.
Labels: Romance
Friday, October 16, 2009
“Necessary Furniture of Empire”*
At the Garage Sale
Americans picked up
most of the Viceroy
chairs. Though the French
had included Devil's Island
potpourri, most shunned.
Guantanamo being
fully appointed.
*Lord Curzon
Labels: Empire, Guantanamo
Thursday, October 15, 2009
I say, Old Chap, nice water chaser for that whiskey?
At Brit Conservative Meeting,
speaker denounces torture
“against friend and foe.”
At Brit Conservative Meeting,
speaker denounces torture
“against friend and foe.”
Labels: torture
Wednesday, October 14, 2009
Wall Street Journal to pass USA Today as top U.S. paper*
Reportage top-notch
for the most part:
accuracy, hallmark.
Editorial, wet dreams
of Neanderthals.
*Yahoo News
Reportage top-notch
for the most part:
accuracy, hallmark.
Editorial, wet dreams
of Neanderthals.
*Yahoo News
Labels: Wall Street Journal, WSJ
Tuesday, October 13, 2009
Best of Times, Worst of Times
In Copenhagen, Frogs
& their limpwristed ilk
on Olympic Committee
nonetheless tell Obama Don’t
let the door hit you in the ass!
& then he’s given Nobel
by worse! So Eurofaggots
are slippery trash!
& that settles that!
Monday, October 12, 2009
Foxer Laughs Out Loud
on hearing of Obama’s Nobel.
Out-whores laugh a lot.
Keeps down wormwood gorge.
Sunday, October 11, 2009
Woodrow Wilson Fellowship
Why did I go in front of board
smoking a cigar? Oh well, intend-
ing to shock professor-
decorum. & succeeded. Was
1/2 pose, 1/2 content then.
So, has proportion changed
from this undistinguished par?
I don't know. Learned more,
& more schlock. Let's impanel
new judges to offend.
Labels: Woodrow Wilson Fellowship
Saturday, October 10, 2009
Worst Moments
I gushed over this or
that one. Choking
my own being. Quite
few, long past, but
still cringe.
Labels: gushing
Friday, October 09, 2009
Formula
A president never gets credit
for making things less bad.*
Eureka! So that, and racial
hatred, explains right
wing radio.
*CSPAN guest
Thursday, October 08, 2009
Rocco and the Twins
ROCCO
Well the Pesticcie Twins! How do you react to the latest?
South Philly kid killed in Afghanistan. Ranger.
P1
Dead for a pile of rocks!
ROCCO
Perhaps slightly more complex than that, though I understand where you’re coming from. At any rate, how do you keep silent for this long, Pesticcie 2?
P2
Die for the system and the system dies.
ROCCO
I though it was just the opposite: way to keep the system going
is to die for it. All the patriots, all their last words and all?
Noble deeds all OVER the fuckin place.
PI
Corruption devours the young.
P2
Throw some loudmouth old men into the battles.
Then they’d end.
ROCCO
I guess the GOP is making a mistake trolling for your votes?
P1
War pigs!
P2
War pigs!
ROCCO
Come by more often. You two make me sound like a conservative.
Rocco discovers he’s a moderate.
ROCCO
Well the Pesticcie Twins! How do you react to the latest?
South Philly kid killed in Afghanistan. Ranger.
P1
Dead for a pile of rocks!
ROCCO
Perhaps slightly more complex than that, though I understand where you’re coming from. At any rate, how do you keep silent for this long, Pesticcie 2?
P2
Die for the system and the system dies.
ROCCO
I though it was just the opposite: way to keep the system going
is to die for it. All the patriots, all their last words and all?
Noble deeds all OVER the fuckin place.
PI
Corruption devours the young.
P2
Throw some loudmouth old men into the battles.
Then they’d end.
ROCCO
I guess the GOP is making a mistake trolling for your votes?
P1
War pigs!
P2
War pigs!
ROCCO
Come by more often. You two make me sound like a conservative.
Rocco discovers he’s a moderate.
Labels: Afghanistan, anti-war
Wednesday, October 07, 2009
The Celebrity Keeps Apologizing
Fashioning a cliché.
Sex churns actual
guts in the little shop.
Fee-Maniacs grease
Pound of Flesh
Machines. Even the kid fetch-
ing coffee gets something
lopped off
in the rut
of Justice.
Labels: bailout crooks, celebrity, Justice, lawyers, sex scandal
Tuesday, October 06, 2009
The Future of History
Having fucked up yet another
Colonial War (thus, in
the anachronism, losing China
to infinity) we embrace a new tsunami
of refugees, frequently homicidal
righties, aka Freedom Fighters. They
freshen the mob already here, opening
restaurants. Adding to the culinary
if not the cultural life.
Labels: Colonial War, Freedom Fighters
Monday, October 05, 2009
If The South Had Won
Lincoln in show-trial con-
victed of High Treason.
Not shot: Martyrdom'd slow
Reconstruction in North. So,
left to rot. Speed the sepia
reel ahead to our colored frame.
“Debate” in Congress
about allowing chosen
slaves to use computers.
Listen to the voices! Expecting
Southern ones, but most vocal
possess Northeastern accents,
calling for safeguards.
Where are Abolitionists?
Executed in patriotic haste,
families perpetually disgraced.
Conservative happiness reigns
in the land! Grace.
All know place.
Labels: Civil War, Lincoln, Slavery
Sunday, October 04, 2009
Biggest Yak
growing up: old people with
their groaning fixations on
digestion--farts and shit
or lacks thereof
and gas gas gas. Haunting
the lax-antacid aisle, fiery
brick in their chest or up
their ancient ass. Pitiful.
CAPT AHAB STALKS WALGREEN’S
Hilarious! And you know what?
Labels: digestion
Saturday, October 03, 2009
My Hat
Bucket thing, keeping brutal
Florida sun off my literal
red neck. Wag busdriver
cracks “What dumpster
you dig that outa?” But
guy in Winn-Dixie blurts
“What a great hat!” It’s
bleached and near-
ly shapeless. Doesn’t
resemble Mastroianni’s
wingy-dark lid in 8 ½,
a film seeking to raise
Director’s Block
to more culturally
revered Writer’s.
I hear Ed G Robinson
yelling “Block, my ass!
What the fuck they paying
your precious ass for?”
Art compels vulgarity.
Labels: director's block, style, writer's block
Friday, October 02, 2009
Christian Fury
coagulates
in Washington,
the annual bash
to hammer fear
since God is highly pissed.
And no Socialist!
Loaves and fishes draw burps
at posher venues, and service
folk receive prayer for tips.
Purgatorial chits, however, ran-
som no slurpies. By contrast,
whores get paid in randy cash,
though roared at after.
Labels: Christian, Values Voter
Thursday, October 01, 2009
Two GOP Wags
-Pulling Grandma’s plug is a whopper!
-Well, we don’t have a monopoly on lying.
-No, but we’re edging close.
Labels: GOP, Healthcare, Republican
