Tuesday, April 11, 2017
Criminal Justice, Creative Branch
-You're the nicest criminal yet!
-Thanks. One and done! The guy
was insulting, and I had been
in a frenzy. My girlfriend having
left with most of my clothes.
-Her new fella your size?
-You got it!
-Well, anyway, Simple Assault.
Another shit case to clog the
books!
-Sorry. Not really interesting,
I know.
-Here comes the deal from the
printer. Here! Just sign it.
-Sure! Get it over with! Uh?
Whoa! This is entirely wrong,
I'm afraid. Lots of...financial
double-dealing it looks like.
-We...need someone to admit to
this one.
-But...as much as I'd like to...!
-No jail time! Guaranteed! Maybe
dismissed off the bat from lack
of evidence. Whereas your shitty
little infraction depends on the
judge's mood.
-Oh well then...easy come, easy go!
I become a respected...banker it
looks like...instead of a hothead.
-We’re rising you in status!
-And...can't stop laughing?
-It's the job!
Labels: assault, banker, banking, class among criminals, criminal class, detectives, financial, financial con men, guilt, hothead, no jail time for big financial cons, plea bargain, police
Friday, December 09, 2016
Revues
We all liked the idea of the Revue.
First up was Georgie, with FEET!
She had been a Radio City Music Hall
Rockette. Then migrated to Vegas for years,
perhaps a few too many.
Dancing just great! But even more interesting,
her extended family, and she introduces each
vital youngster! From three quite captivating
fathers.
Second, lifetime police officer, Jeremy Carruthers. Finally, Chief of Brenley Falls, where he whipped an indifferent lot into shape, and instituted some innovative forms of actual clarity.
Chief had a heart, also. And helped many criminals back to decency.
He gave a slide show, nothing flashy, but steady
and wholesome.
Last for this week. THROUGH A GLASS, DECEPTIVELY. Hoddings Kraft. Noir film. Banking.
Labels: banking, dancing, police work, revue, show, Show Business
Monday, September 21, 2015
The Banker
-You’re sure then...safe room?
-If they did manage to tap in here, they’d
get Mickey Mouse with laryngitis.
-At any rate, I was the most righteous
when most criminal. Derivatives
addicted me. The crazier, the more
heroin-like!
-Democrats threatened jail time!
-Not an idle one. Hadda sweeten their pot.
-But as Republicans through and through,
how can we give...?
-Any port in a storm.
-Should the Grand Old Party worry?
-Not for a millisecond! Cut taxes on the rich
and fuck the bitch!
-Music to our ears. But...as to John Q?
-He’s included in the latter part.
-Likes the attention.
Labels: banker, banking, criminal, Democrats, derivatives, heroin, political bribe, Republican
Monday, August 10, 2015
The Right Informing of Its Love
-What you get with us is FREEDOM!
-The banker sure does! Fucking us each way
from Sunday!
-Never mind him! We’re speaking of your…
-Freedom to starve?
-You’re free to be responsible not to!
-Why not make me responsible for everything gone
wrong in the fuckin country while you’re at it?
-Love to! But must bring it up to others.
Labels: banking, freedom, love, responsibility, Right
Thursday, June 05, 2014
French Officials Twist U.S. Arms in Bank Inquiry *
Forgive the French
for being crooks.
In other ways, so so
très charmant! Look-
ing élégante
as others sweat
about the books.
*Times
Labels: banking, banking scandals, French
Friday, January 25, 2013
The Quiet Room
-I had visions of being raped by a vicious stud!
-No real reason to use this Quiet Room.
All other conference venues booked.
Do you recall your previous…?
-Only the words “We could go to prison!”
-It was panic mode.
-I had visions of being raped by a vicious stud!
-Overblown. They seek fresher meat. At any rate,
two wonderful groups have blocked incarceration.
-Senate and House! I’m amazed at the paltry amounts
they’re bought for.
-Shh! Even in the Quiet Room we avoid strong verbs.
Rather say patriotic
contributions of Banking.
Besides, these but symbols in a novel.
-And the novel itself?
-One! Thumping! Book!
Labels: banking, bribery, injustice, prison
Wednesday, May 16, 2012
Bank loses 2-billion in short time
Peanuts! cry righty champs.
Get some perspective! Force
yourself! Um hmm? Mine's of
ship on course, flag herald-
ing pirate rampant on
stars and stripes.
Tuesday, March 13, 2012
Cash Card
Sort of liked the Canadian bank took over after the Florida one.
I think of Canada as not as mean or crooked. Anyway supposed to cut their old cash card in half, but had to make sure the new one worked from the Mega bank.
It did. Hallelujah! No real opportunity to destroy the old one until I got home.
I had the scissors out when the door burst open. A man and a woman, she fondling a machine pistol.
“So, Whitey, bit late with the required act, huh?” sneered
skinny male.
“I just got back from...”
“Yeah yeah yeah,” she impatiently fingered the trigger.
“Well we bodied two today. Trifecta?” male smiled at her.
“Are you from the government, or the bank?” I trembled.
“Like, there’s a difference?” he assembled a quizzical face.
“Love the question though. It’s cute!” She waved the muzzle under my nose and then into the general air.
“So’s old Fred Q here. I base that on the fact he hasn’t shit his pants yet.”
“There’s a lady in 31a who’s a total bitch. Made her family miserable for years and she refuses to cut her card in half!”
She pointed the gun to the splintered door.
“Well, Freddy’s rounds go into her. You lucked out, old fart. Here! Give me the fuckin scissors! Ever see hands shake like that?”
“Every day.”
Sort of liked the Canadian bank took over after the Florida one.
I think of Canada as not as mean or crooked. Anyway supposed to cut their old cash card in half, but had to make sure the new one worked from the Mega bank.
It did. Hallelujah! No real opportunity to destroy the old one until I got home.
I had the scissors out when the door burst open. A man and a woman, she fondling a machine pistol.
“So, Whitey, bit late with the required act, huh?” sneered
skinny male.
“I just got back from...”
“Yeah yeah yeah,” she impatiently fingered the trigger.
“Well we bodied two today. Trifecta?” male smiled at her.
“Are you from the government, or the bank?” I trembled.
“Like, there’s a difference?” he assembled a quizzical face.
“Love the question though. It’s cute!” She waved the muzzle under my nose and then into the general air.
“So’s old Fred Q here. I base that on the fact he hasn’t shit his pants yet.”
“There’s a lady in 31a who’s a total bitch. Made her family miserable for years and she refuses to cut her card in half!”
She pointed the gun to the splintered door.
“Well, Freddy’s rounds go into her. You lucked out, old fart. Here! Give me the fuckin scissors! Ever see hands shake like that?”
“Every day.”
Saturday, June 18, 2011
Bottom Lines
"I've gone through all the junk fees and, surprisingly,
many are legitimate.
Some, mysterious! Resubmittance Regulatory Charge
Per Legislative Act as an example. But for 348.27, well,
you can't fuss over peanuts on a 500,000 mortgage--
Worldly Accountant’s Rule.
As to your overall suspicion that the re-financing was really
a screwing? No more than ordinary.
Over the term of fifteen years, you end up saving a little more
than a thousand.
You're gonna give me a thousand, so you end up pennies ahead.
Consumer of the Month!"
Labels: accountant, banking, mortgage, refinance
Wednesday, March 23, 2011
Most Great Fortunes Based on Great Robberies*
But there’s the actual and the metaphor.
Consider the full frontal holdup
at a bank. Grim threats with guns
terrorize associates and customers,
latter staying down on the floor
as per spat instructions.
How gauche all that compared to
the Board stamping the latest
gouges and fashion-
ing the half lies
to cover them,
and themselves.
*freely translated from Balzac
Labels: bank robbery, bankers, banking, robbery
Friday, November 12, 2010
Auditor
-Ten thousand a month for an apartment for a...
-very good friend!
-mistress.
-Such a sleazy tone, that word, whereas...
-And under a foundation you created for the bank.
-We do a lot of Little League too. It does.
-Look, I'm losing friends at Justice referring anything less than
a few million for possible indictment. Just start paying for Sweetie out of your own salary and the matter's closed.
-That’s decent of you. I'll withdraw the account from the foundation.
-Miriam Foundation, huh? What...?
-My Mother's name. God rest her soul.
-Really? I find that touching. Very touching.
-Ten thousand a month for an apartment for a...
-very good friend!
-mistress.
-Such a sleazy tone, that word, whereas...
-And under a foundation you created for the bank.
-We do a lot of Little League too. It does.
-Look, I'm losing friends at Justice referring anything less than
a few million for possible indictment. Just start paying for Sweetie out of your own salary and the matter's closed.
-That’s decent of you. I'll withdraw the account from the foundation.
-Miriam Foundation, huh? What...?
-My Mother's name. God rest her soul.
-Really? I find that touching. Very touching.
Thursday, October 28, 2010
The Bank–a Vignette Set in the Near Past
-Jesus Christ, Charlie! We’re giving a million dollar
mortgage to a short-order cook!
-Hey, whatta we know? Maybe Aunt Tillie and Uncle Mark are helping out. Besides, we’ll peddle it to sharpies who’ll slice all these bastards up and sell ‘em to dense Indonesians.
-Uh huh? And what’ll we do when the shit eventually
hits the fan?
-Well in my case, I had no idea what my mortgage officers were up to!
-In the meantime?
-I’m taking Sweetie to The Lion King, and that new French Restaurant with real Frog waiters, who I’ll tip so generously they’ll be happy they left their stupid socialism.
-Sounds like a good time.
-If it is, I repeat next week with the wife.
-Jesus Christ, Charlie! We’re giving a million dollar
mortgage to a short-order cook!
-Hey, whatta we know? Maybe Aunt Tillie and Uncle Mark are helping out. Besides, we’ll peddle it to sharpies who’ll slice all these bastards up and sell ‘em to dense Indonesians.
-Uh huh? And what’ll we do when the shit eventually
hits the fan?
-Well in my case, I had no idea what my mortgage officers were up to!
-In the meantime?
-I’m taking Sweetie to The Lion King, and that new French Restaurant with real Frog waiters, who I’ll tip so generously they’ll be happy they left their stupid socialism.
-Sounds like a good time.
-If it is, I repeat next week with the wife.
Labels: banking, bundling, mortgage, subprime
Tuesday, October 12, 2010
Branding the Banks
We Fucked Millions:
Trust Us!
We Fucked Millions:
Trust Us!
Wednesday, January 06, 2010
The Market Providing Its Magic
As I soft-pedal reservations touch-
ing safety of my investment,
the Banker, oleaginous
feline digesting a canary,
gives “I’m not worried!”
Shortly, reach only his
secretary. It’s all gone,
of course,
All of it.
At least the canary
left a few feathers
f-
loat-
ing down
on all
the suckers.
Labels: banking, Free Market
Wednesday, November 18, 2009
Banking Q & A
-Must I lose my home so that bankers can command obscene salaries and bonuses?
-Not necessarily.
-Must I lose my home so that bankers can command obscene salaries and bonuses?
-Not necessarily.
Labels: banking, executive compensation
Sunday, August 16, 2009
Romantic Overtones
How some find Lady of
the Lake, or Lorelei, even
Lucy in the Sky, but I get
Heather of the Interest Rates
imploring me to press “1" now!
How some find Lady of
the Lake, or Lorelei, even
Lucy in the Sky, but I get
Heather of the Interest Rates
imploring me to press “1" now!
Wednesday, August 05, 2009
Banker and Assistant
BANKER
We lu-UVE Republicans! They put true-believer hacks in
to pretend regulation. We make mega tons of hay while
the sun shines!
ASSISTANT
Unfortunately, sky got totally black ultimately!
BANKER
Then the Democrats brought light!
ASSISTANT
In the form of rescue moolah. Pure gold!
BANKER
We can't lose. Grateful to both. As their campaigns will realize.
ASSISTANT
Too bad there had to be such greed, stupidity and incompetence
in banking!.
BANKER
Where was that, exactly?
ASSISTANT
Not in this office of course!
BANKER
What’s that old expression? Money never lost a war?
ASSISTANT
Just knock off the predicate off that sentence. Money never lost, period!
BANKER
You are learning the advanced grammar of Capitalism!
ASSISTANT
It’s a short book.
BANKER
And brutal!--I remind you.
ASSISTANT
Why we even want our Little League team to fight to the death!
BANKER
Bet your ambitious ass!
BANKER
We lu-UVE Republicans! They put true-believer hacks in
to pretend regulation. We make mega tons of hay while
the sun shines!
ASSISTANT
Unfortunately, sky got totally black ultimately!
BANKER
Then the Democrats brought light!
ASSISTANT
In the form of rescue moolah. Pure gold!
BANKER
We can't lose. Grateful to both. As their campaigns will realize.
ASSISTANT
Too bad there had to be such greed, stupidity and incompetence
in banking!.
BANKER
Where was that, exactly?
ASSISTANT
Not in this office of course!
BANKER
What’s that old expression? Money never lost a war?
ASSISTANT
Just knock off the predicate off that sentence. Money never lost, period!
BANKER
You are learning the advanced grammar of Capitalism!
ASSISTANT
It’s a short book.
BANKER
And brutal!--I remind you.
ASSISTANT
Why we even want our Little League team to fight to the death!
BANKER
Bet your ambitious ass!
Labels: banking, greed, incompentence, TARP
Monday, October 13, 2008
Prayer
Banker sits at desk, denying building on fire.
Door flings open to reveal interior of giant
prophylactic, spangled Uncle Sam with fireman’s hat.
-Get in here! balky banker. You’re rescued!
-I’ll join you, but further communication must be
through my lawyers.
Conversation in “tunnel”
-Not here to arrest but to help, o paranoid one.
Go ahead and order the new granite countertops for
your vacation palace.
-I’d have to see the bailout details. And I’ve been
reading vindictiveness against my class!
-That’s the liberal press. They want justice, of all things.
-Well, last thing I want!
-Stop worrying. I promise that your nervous gas’ll begin smelling
like roses pretty soon!
-I’m worrying!
-Hasn’t Uncle always taken care of you? And has he always helped
you fuck the suckers?
-Amen.
Wednesday, July 23, 2008
The Big Small Town Banker
-The law as it's written now means we can absolutely
ruin this sonofabitch!
-Congress is working like hell to change it. Even Republicans!
-You mean back-stabbers. Well, anyway, too late for him.
I want him out on the street with his fat wife and bawling babies.
-Sounds like a cartoon.
-Life is a cartoon, or haven't you noticed?
-The law as it's written now means we can absolutely
ruin this sonofabitch!
-Congress is working like hell to change it. Even Republicans!
-You mean back-stabbers. Well, anyway, too late for him.
I want him out on the street with his fat wife and bawling babies.
-Sounds like a cartoon.
-Life is a cartoon, or haven't you noticed?
