Sunday, August 28, 2016
The Minnesota Dream Monkey
(Obituaries from French,
British and German publications
here and here and here
...
Plus a poem in Japanese.)
...
our bright inquisitive dorothea
has left us but her work lives on!
--emailed, drsidneyglass@bestlab1.org
...
Our work, and that of Glass, converted
her dreams into a psychedelic river of
leaping fluorescence, and in her latter days
she learned that a few keystrokes could
change the program.
Into something otherworldly beautiful.
...
Only patent ever awarded to a monkey.
Labels: experiment, lab, monkey, psychedelic, science
Saturday, December 12, 2015
Final Plan
The Same Conversation
-Okay then, you take a cruise. Two-AM, off fantail go you!
-Done!
-Swim to exhaustion, won't even know when sharks
getting to it. Little guys finishing up, thousands.
-Then?
-Eventually, bleached bones on a beach somewhere.
-Great! I'm scenic!
-Here comes the Science! I study charts, currents, decide
which beach, and the whole gang parties there!
-How could it be better? I'm enjoying it now!
-Uh...invite Dorrie? Your call there?
-Why not? Her whole life's been a fuckin gloat!
Labels: beach, cruise, currents, decay, drowning, Fatal Woman, friend, gloating, punctured affair, science, sharks, suicide
Wednesday, December 31, 2014
Science
After Visitors Left the Lab
-Not the Curies...
-Better equipped.
-but we do our best.
-Where are the snows of yesteryear?
-Melted, mixed with mud, run down the gutters!
Labels: Curie, medical research, modern, science, scientific method, scientific research, snows of yesteryear
Tuesday, November 11, 2014
Science and the Right
-I think it’s called Animated Venn Diagram or
something. I’m just playing with it to see if it shows...
-Okay, one big balloon, Racists. I get that.
Another, Republicans. And...the two getting
together...whoa! Like, wait a minute! It shows
all Republicans Racists. That ain’t Science!
-It’ll take some tinkering.
-You need new data!
-I was expecting three-quarters.
-That’s realistic. I know that I’m a Republican and a Racist,
but not THEREFORE a Racist! Let’s, like, get real!
-Constant experiment! It’s the Science Life.
-They pay you for this?
-Your government does.
-Well, now with our new Righty bunch, you’re out
on your ass!
-Not necessarily. Why, look! The diagram changing
before our very eyes.
-Looks to be-eeeee about seven Republican Racists.
-They’ll be deified.
Labels: experiment, government, racist, Republican, Republican Racist, science, Venn
Monday, June 09, 2014
Perpetual Debate Topic
-Well, more and more jobs! No mistaking
this recovery. At last!
-Pour me out another two fingers.
-You've been drinking my Democratic Scotch
for fifteen years!
-My Tea Partiers want it to be patriotic bourbon.
-And you better start paying for it. Show receipts
when you're hauled in.
-Hey! According to them, I should never be in your
impure company. But back to today's figures. You got permanently unemployed in there, not counted.
-Them. Once more into the breach!
-These simpletons will never work again. And you
Democrats don't give a shit!
-Historically, you Republicans never have! And never will!
-Yup, but don't know about the latter. Your nerdy scientists might get pigs flying yet.
Labels: Democrat, flying pigs, Republican, science, senator, unemployment, work
Sunday, March 02, 2014
Divine Generosity
Minus and Plus
-You're not a pianist are you?
-Very very amateur.
-Then, you'll hafta come up with some workarounds.
I'm not into music, so I can't be more specific.
So...life without right pinky.
Mine just...disappeared. No shearing accident or anything.
First, down to the lower knuckle, and then that went too.
The Hand Doctor knew of only ten other cases. Anyway, it all
looked quite smooth.
-But, you're in luck. The new stem cell treatments will grow
another, and you'll be a normal piano person once more.
It did. Two.
-I can't see that it would present much of a problem in everyday
life. As to the piano, well, you'll be more of a tinkler, hey?
I reserved judgement on any day-to-day difficulties. But, there
were none.
The last thing Doctor spouted involved The Finger God.
Unexpected from Man of Science, but I'm being safe anyway,
praying that He or She skip me next time.
Labels: doctor, finger, hand, piano, pinky, science, stem cells
Wednesday, August 21, 2013
In Another Country
Best Way To Murder
Be Scientist.
At a remove
from those
opened
by explosion.
Lots of chat of
coordinates &
other icy
geometries.
Abstracting death
to ideas diadems
achievers & nabs
awards. Rather
tops to be toasted
(not for victims) with
subtle champagne.
Even pretty.
Labels: awards, bombing, military scientist, science, war
Saturday, April 06, 2013
The Man Who Assembled an Orange Is Dead
Those who said he substituted an actual orange
for the last step have been rightly disgraced.
However, nothing tickled him more, and he
laughed uproariously every time it was
brought up.
No, the video record was meticulously clear.
He started at eight of a Sunday morning
and by eleven, Voila! Of course the
materials took quite a long time beforehand.
Since the record was so complete, the two
judges, one the science advisor for the President
and the other a Provost at MIT, decided to
eat the orange.
Here you, schooled in Irony, will speculate that
it tasted lousy.
But the judges claimed it was a shame
ever to eat anything ever again.
It was that spectacularly delicious!
Those who said he substituted an actual orange
for the last step have been rightly disgraced.
However, nothing tickled him more, and he
laughed uproariously every time it was
brought up.
No, the video record was meticulously clear.
He started at eight of a Sunday morning
and by eleven, Voila! Of course the
materials took quite a long time beforehand.
Since the record was so complete, the two
judges, one the science advisor for the President
and the other a Provost at MIT, decided to
eat the orange.
Here you, schooled in Irony, will speculate that
it tasted lousy.
But the judges claimed it was a shame
ever to eat anything ever again.
It was that spectacularly delicious!
Labels: botany, irony, orange, science, skepticism
Saturday, January 12, 2013
The Astronomer
& His Beer Buddy
-A billion
light years, give or take.
-Put that in
perspective.
-I just did.
-Astronomer Wit
Alert! Tiny mid massive worlds.
-We do our
humble best.
-I mean…how
can we ever get to that neighborhood?
-Wormholes.
-A fiction.
Fairytale!
-You mean
like Hansel and Gretel?
-It roars,
we toil. All the religions teach humility.
-Yeah, but
they don’t mean it.
Labels: astronomy, humility, light years, religion, science
Monday, December 31, 2012
Elegance is brutal work
Those imputing genius to me,
though, posit edifice I leap
with single bound, fans therein
cheering roundly, as for Giants.
Now, Academy desires more
decimal places. Easiest, for
that far out,
random suffices.
Lazy? Give bean counters
fewer beans, foul addiction.
Labels: bean counters, genius, random, research, science
Monday, December 17, 2012
It
O look! It fits
matrix or curve!
emits math boy
or girl. Uh huh?
Fits nothing but, new-
ly shape-shifting,
can destroy theory.
And, even, you.
Labels: math, predicability, science, shape-shifting
Sunday, August 12, 2012
Tale of etc
The woman who didn't know
what time it was, and cared
precisely, consulted instruments
of the horological sort, but
they couldn't agree. Obsession
couldn't buy truth as she saw it.
Physicians summoned, one by
one. Finally came a genius who
transcended mere occupation,
bringing an atomic clock. "This
is more accurate than God,"
announced he. "What final good
is it to split hairs?" cried she,
"And then split the split
and so on." Old priest then
enters the learned melee.
"You can't be pleased by man
nor exactitude!" he thunders.
She answers that it’s no use
thundering when there's tea.
"The others are so cold,” she
informs, dealing
a Lorna Doone.
Labels: clock, faith, precision, science, time
Monday, April 09, 2012
Electoral, For Starters
Will those despising Blacks and Mormons
go onward, Christian soldiers?
Denying, too, Godless science for
The Cross of Jesus? So
proud to bear it through this
Heehaw Renaissance.
Labels: Blacks, Christian, Mormon, science
Saturday, March 10, 2012
Fruitflies
live short lives,
a few yawns
and gone.
Some go all in
for a science
designed to trumpet
our thumping magnificence.
live short lives,
a few yawns
and gone.
Some go all in
for a science
designed to trumpet
our thumping magnificence.
Labels: fruitflies, science
Monday, January 02, 2012
Degrees of Brilliance
-The number coming back will be beyond massive!
-Take a chair. It's the opposite by infinite magnitudes.
Smallest I've ever seen!
-What...does it mean?
-Barking up the wrong tree for...
-My whole career! Wasted! And five years till retirement.
-Well, off into the sunset. Unless they bring it to you prematurely.
-I deserve even less than that. We should apologize to our students!
-What good would that do? As scientists, they know such a thing could happen.
-Yeah, to dunderheads!
-Don't be so hard on yourself-- and especially me!
Besides, a plan suggests itself.
-Oh?
-Jump on this new bicycle and ride the bejesus out of it!
-Can't do it that fast!
-You must! In five years, you retire a genius.
Work on your Swedish!
-And do those five geniusing years make up for...?
-That's not a scientific question.
-The number coming back will be beyond massive!
-Take a chair. It's the opposite by infinite magnitudes.
Smallest I've ever seen!
-What...does it mean?
-Barking up the wrong tree for...
-My whole career! Wasted! And five years till retirement.
-Well, off into the sunset. Unless they bring it to you prematurely.
-I deserve even less than that. We should apologize to our students!
-What good would that do? As scientists, they know such a thing could happen.
-Yeah, to dunderheads!
-Don't be so hard on yourself-- and especially me!
Besides, a plan suggests itself.
-Oh?
-Jump on this new bicycle and ride the bejesus out of it!
-Can't do it that fast!
-You must! In five years, you retire a genius.
Work on your Swedish!
-And do those five geniusing years make up for...?
-That's not a scientific question.
Labels: science, scientific discovery
Saturday, October 15, 2011
Change
-We have discovered place!
-I have already it. My village. Three Trees, Moon Entangled.
-Not any more. It’s Headley now, after Headley Russcomb,
our chief scientist.
-Three Trees, Moon Entangled!
-Well that was adequate once...you see the three trees
atop a hill. And the full moon etc. But we are naming
places much more simply, without the, excuse me,
pseudo-poetry. And, well, how do you say when to meet someone at Three Trees etc? Headley is working
on a system, an exact thing. Oh we thought numbers
were just to play with, but he's figuring they can be
used for little bits of time, instead of moons and
the old silly rigamarole. Why what if it's clouded
over in your way of looking at things?
-Pray to Sky God.
-Uh huh. And all the other gods eventually.
Noisy multitude! We're devising a way to roll them
all into one God. You pray to him.
-Then all get angry! Don’t!
-But there are explanations for things now!
The snow melts in the mountains and the river
swells and floods! No God!
-River God know what he want.
-Uh huh. Well say hello to him and everyone at Headley!
He had to tell the River God who sped his dugout
canoe faster. Then he told the Three Trees,
Moon Entangled place god.
That night a fierce storm! He hugged his little family
as the fire blew out with the loudest noise ever heard.
At first light, he ventured outside to see everything below
the hill flooded. He knew that Headley and the rest
were swept forever into the realm of horrible gods.
The place of ideas.
-We have discovered place!
-I have already it. My village. Three Trees, Moon Entangled.
-Not any more. It’s Headley now, after Headley Russcomb,
our chief scientist.
-Three Trees, Moon Entangled!
-Well that was adequate once...you see the three trees
atop a hill. And the full moon etc. But we are naming
places much more simply, without the, excuse me,
pseudo-poetry. And, well, how do you say when to meet someone at Three Trees etc? Headley is working
on a system, an exact thing. Oh we thought numbers
were just to play with, but he's figuring they can be
used for little bits of time, instead of moons and
the old silly rigamarole. Why what if it's clouded
over in your way of looking at things?
-Pray to Sky God.
-Uh huh. And all the other gods eventually.
Noisy multitude! We're devising a way to roll them
all into one God. You pray to him.
-Then all get angry! Don’t!
-But there are explanations for things now!
The snow melts in the mountains and the river
swells and floods! No God!
-River God know what he want.
-Uh huh. Well say hello to him and everyone at Headley!
He had to tell the River God who sped his dugout
canoe faster. Then he told the Three Trees,
Moon Entangled place god.
That night a fierce storm! He hugged his little family
as the fire blew out with the loudest noise ever heard.
At first light, he ventured outside to see everything below
the hill flooded. He knew that Headley and the rest
were swept forever into the realm of horrible gods.
The place of ideas.
Sunday, July 17, 2011
Physics
Problem becomes math
untethered, a poetry
infatuates can't release
from purity.
Problem becomes math
untethered, a poetry
infatuates can't release
from purity.
Labels: math, physics, purity, science
Monday, May 09, 2011
The Route of Thought
You know, till all suddenly gets proven
counterintuitive. Then don’t know what
you don't immediately, but must slip-
slide away mid formerly despised.
They rule by vengeance for a time.
Then relax. Even laugh at Young Turks
satirizing their limits, infelicities. So, in
the air you should pitch in with those,
but it’s a career. You await
the watch, but speed
melts the gold,
helter-skeltering
numerals antique.
Labels: career, change, science
