Saturday, May 21, 2022
Republican Heaven
Pleasant to be greeted
by an Angel with every
feather right!
I speak to him of my fear
re GREAT REPLACEMENT!
--even here. But he brightly reassures:
“Not a Worry!" There being
a separate but equal heaven
for jungle types and their
yellowish co-libtards!
"All so-OOOO Politically Correct-de-deck-TEE!"
Exult I then of course…
and...actually...some black music
quite interesting. Acceptable therefore!
Plus every major city
possesses a CHINATOWN
with interesting food.
(Use your napkin to clean
the cutlery beforehand
just to be sure!)
But obviously the greatest glory in a Heaven
for our OWN Kind
is the absence of Socialist
“Intellectuals” and their wooly
theories of nothing!
(& of course we leave Jews
to their weird devices...
'nuff said.)
Labels: black, Chinese, heaven, intellectual, Jew, liberal, Republican, Right Wing, Yellow
Sunday, May 13, 2018
Escalation
Post Office leaves plastic bag I fill
with cans. Chef Boyardee Cheese
Ravioli as an example.
Fought poverty before, this
time, blessedly not mine.
Thus achieve another star
in my haughty Crown? Hope
weighty enough to impress
St Peter! Or he’ll indicate
the Down Escalator
“Must it go so fast?”
His white-robed nod then
full of seething sarcasm!
(Heaven mostly satire,
but you knew that.)
Tuesday, May 01, 2018
Friends Into Theology
-Where were you when we walked
on the moon?
-Alive.
-That vague?
-That’s me. Will I recall more clearly
in Heaven, do you suppose?
-I think it’s always a golden present
tense there. Quite lovely!
-Good coffee? Can I order Kona?
-Think of it, it appears!
-Being good was tough. You need
nice coffee!
-Of course, we might be barking up
the wrong tree. Heaven, like, completely
spiritual!
-Sounds like Hell!
-Don’t be flip!
-I thought I was.
-Your nickname, but you know what
I mean!
-Will I be able to continue my great love
there with my Jennifer?
-The spiritual aspects.
-Those aren’t the ones I’m thinking of.
-No!
-How do I transfer? I mean the roasted-
ass bit probably a myth. Hell might be
a better fit for the two of us.
-You can’t speak for Jen.
-God himself better not try THAT!
Labels: behavior, coffee, God, heaven, Hell, hereafter, love, sex.
Saturday, August 26, 2017
HEAVEN AND HELL–-if you’re into dichotomies
Heaven Can Wimp
-I tried our 800 number and
reached an Indian.
-Sing-songy voice?
-I got used to it.
-We’re not all wireless yet,
budget restraints, and those
wogs are rotting the lines
with their curry breath!
-Whoa! Pretty racist.
-All in fun.
-Anyway, he helped me.
-Not him, the Marketplace!
We can afford him and
therefore give better service
than with your Christian crybabies.
-Really?
-Time and a half for overtime!
Give me a break!
-So Heaven’s a marketplace
economy?
-The only sacrosanct thing here.
-How about Love and all that
dreamy stuff.
-Not expressly forbidden, but we
worship The Market.
-God devised it?
-But of course. Don’t tell me that
you’re one of those Lefty Nitwits!
-No, I’m a good little angel.
-Say it loud and often. Otherwise
I only hear that you’re requesting
a transfer!
-No way! Adore that Marketplace!
Absolutely! No reservations!
-That’s better! Hey! Free donuts
tomorrow. Pass it on.
-SUPER YUM!
////
Hell Is For Heroines
-I'm just back and they want
me to go out again.
-Why so?
-Harassment. My specialty.
-Sexual.
-Of course. I go after Macho-Boss-Assholes,
and fry their little balls, believe me!
-You're tough!
-That I am!
-But good. As am I. Sometimes I wonder
why...?
-We're not in Heaven?
-I do wonder!
-Don't! It's simple. There are no
women in Heaven.
-I don't believe that.
-Absolutely true!
-Oh come on! Heaven is all dullard
males?
-Worse than Hell if you ask me!
-Then how about all the St Teresas
from here and there?
-Okay. Okay. A few women.
-You're a serial exaggerator!
-Yeah. Guilty. It's...just that we
have more Hell in us!
-And thank God for it!
Labels: God, heaven, Hell, Indian Call Center, market, marketplace, men, Sexual Harassment, women
Wednesday, July 12, 2017
Goes On the Struggle
“Deflower! Despoiler!
Raucous moral pig!”
Thus I confront, afire
with Righteousness.
He laughs. “If I knew
this Heaven such an im-
mense racket, I’da...”
“We’re taking it back!”
“Uh huh? Well you must
excuse me. Still have some
angels to bribe.” And then
the greatest sin!
He giggles! So un-
masculine!
Labels: 'class, angels, behavior, criminal, heaven, heavenly controversy, in Heaven, masculinity, problem, problems
Thursday, June 15, 2017
The Reverse Transfer
-So few applications for
reverse transfers, that
I wanted to talk to you.
-Of course.
-Do you have a complaint or...?
-No complaint, really. Just the
sad acknowledgment that most
have lied their way in.
-As on Earth. Hypocrisy. We run
campaigns to help eradicate it,
but...
-Our strongest habit...?
-I suppose. But, have you participated
in any...?
-No. I stay away. Preferring to read.
-An odd one.
-Agreed.
-So, you don't like the Campaigns
for Goodness...and the company?
-Unfortunately.
-Don't you fear the suffering in
the other place?
-I think I'll be more left alone.
-In my experience, I don't find
that a truly driving force...
as the French say "Cherchez..."
-I admit it! I hope to find her there,
continue our Earth sinning!
-Not very noble.
-Blessedly!
-Well, many more to choose from if
she doesn't work out.
-Are you saying Hell consists
mostly of women?
-They say men forced them there.
-I feel I was forced here!
-To experience bad company?
Aren't you too much the Idealist?
-Admitted. Idealist. Loner. Lover.
-Don't romanticize! I can't stand it.
Here! I'm stamping your papers.
May you find your peculiar Heaven
in Hell!
-Everywhere's peculiar.
-And everyone?
-Some pipe up.
Labels: Earth, heaven, Hell, hypocrisy, sex, sin, solitary, taste
Sunday, April 02, 2017
The Creation of Paradise
proved, as much does, political.
No problems whatever for those
desiring gooey cheeseburgers and
chocolate peanut butter cups--to
mention the more trivial requests--
but posher cuisines had to be limited.
As you can imagine, the real hangup
came with Sex.
Which the Preamble had already
projected as "Wholesome and Abundant."
A group arose, self-designated "Fiends!"
They wanted to amend the Preamble, but
Chair ruled that language had already
been voted in.
The Fiends then chanted, and performed
lascivious dances!
They were expelled, but continued outside,
surrounded, of course, by TV Cameras.
To everyone's satisfaction, they were
eventually transferred to the Arch-Fiend.
We felt that Heaven had to stand for something.
Labels: cuisine, Demlocracy, heaven, license, morality, Paradise, politics, sex
Friday, November 04, 2016
Photog
-I’m 100% digital now.
-What do you miss?
-Darkroom. Enlarging. All the dodging.
Particularly shaping my hands to block
or admit light.
-A ballet! Thing of beauty!
-Maybe it went to heaven.
-Nice idea! Heaven as the place of wonderful
dead arts!
-And artists?
-Let’s keep the purity.
Labels: art, artistic purity, artists, dead arts, defunct art, digital photography, heaven, photographic enlarging, photography
Tuesday, March 22, 2016
The Small Family
They finally gave in when Mitz worked at
Sam’s Club part-time to get money, and
the discount, to buy her own smart phone.
“The beginning of the end!” Laurel pronounced
to Mac.
“I don’t understand women as you know.”
“Keep it that way. You’ll get to Heaven.”
Labels: cell phone, Family, heaven, smart phone, teen girl, women
Tuesday, December 15, 2015
Golden Turnip Award
-Righties won't even mention last Bush.
-Whattafreak they want? Reduced taxes on Rich.
-Doctrine!
-And tried privatizing Social Security!
-Thus giving their thieving Billionaires a crack at us all?
-For the Third Golden Turnip, even cloyed the despicable Evangelicals!
-Wanted more!
-Why am I not surprised?
-If he waits long enough, blessings will trickle down from the Right Side of Heaven.
-Angels pissing?
Labels: Bush, Evangelicals, George Bush, Golden Turnip, heaven, Republican, Republican Beliefs, Social Security, tax cuts for Rich, trickle down
Thursday, September 03, 2015
Three Women
1
The woman who pushed you to higher
moral ground.
Usually by cheating in some form. Thus
she taught her lovers compassion and
humanity and forgiveness by frequently
switching.
Heaven's a cinch for those she gypped.
They owe her.
2
The singularly vicious woman alienated
everyone, but her family stuck. With the
penalty of early deaths for some.
Eventually, those left got her into an old
persons’ home where management
finally had to build her a special cottage.
There the staff approach in hazmat
suits since she has become physically
toxic.
3
The 24-7 Sweet Woman blessedly died.
Having done a lot of good! To most.
The rest decried the sugary.
Heaven agreed with the latter, inventing
a special plane outside the airy precincts.
Which the theologians haven’t discovered
yet in order to talk it to death.
Labels: cheating woman, heaven, nice woman, theology, vicious woman, women
Monday, June 08, 2015
Rushing Sounds
Bit of a follower, I’m afraid. So, I went along with him,
even when disaster loomed.
Just ordinary screwups easy enough to handle: get some
hands in there who knew how to clean things up.
But...the hurt afterwards, and avoidance of him!
AND me. Unfazed, he! “I welcome their hate!”
Well I didn’t, so I started pulling away.
He got married! And she is very nearly worse.
Case in point, the D’Onofrio girl, worried to death
about going to dance with bare shoulders pretty
scarred by acne.
“Can you say Craters of the Moon?” the new wife
slid in. He continued in the same vein, of course:
“I told her not to worry. She’s black enough
to resemble the dark side!”
That was enough even for me, and I laid both of
them out, citing the proverb Fools rush in where
angels fear to tread.
“Pussy angels? Why does that not surprise me?”
“We’re opting for the other place,” adds she.
“Fewer bores!” he laughs.
“Freedom!”
Labels: '"Freedom", angels, boors, follower, Fools rush in, heaven, Hell, Italian, manners, prejudice
Saturday, May 30, 2015
Whammies
Since Chucksy stammered, no one
would listen to his improvement
to the common garden spade.
None in Heaven, so he's blocked now.
He's beautifully articulate there,
but language needs imperfection.
Aesthetically.
And a measure of raw, shameless
chutzpa.
Labels: articulate, chutzpa, heaven, language, nerve, spade
Monday, July 21, 2014
When Heaven Went Quiet
Not a one!
But...God was finally sick
of the vile and vicious
spouters. Too, he gave
no break to those who
talked a good game
but were really base.
Oh how others as depraved
pretended otherwise! (Hey,
after all, if hypocrisy weighed,
there'd be next to no one here:
It’s The Golden Mean.) So, at
any rate, we've spoken
to God. Not decorous
to only have Democrats.
Labels: base, Democrat, God, Golden Mean, heaven, hypocrisy, Republican
Thursday, January 23, 2014
Guns in Heaven
Celestial Boom-Boom
-Will there be guns in Heaven?
-Of course. Every make and model.
-That'll scare the fairies. They'll think murder!
-As they should. Plenty of that there.
-But the target'll just get up and walk away?
-So what? You can nail him again and again!
-Continuous revenge! I love it!
-It’s Heaven after all.
-How about hunting? The downed beast comes back to
life and ambles off?
-That's right. Plenty more.
-So, no trophies!
-Just women for that.
-You're joking!
-Yes, but just in a way: They'll know their place there.
Labels: guns, heaven, hunting, knowing place, murder, place, women
Friday, November 08, 2013
Polite Behavior in Heaven
A Being with Crazy Thoughts
Haunting! But told not a soul.
Heaven's reckoning came in time,
St Peter remarking “Look at you!
A lively one. Not. Wouldn't say
‘shit’ if you had a mouthful."
“My thoughts are sin. Forgive me.”
“Hey! They're just fuckin images!”
“Is heaven...vulgar then?”
“Has to be, since it's sacred.”
Labels: heaven, politeness, St Peter, vulgarity
Tuesday, March 26, 2013
One thing I've noted
in foreign TV drama:
the promises at funerals
more jazzily elaborate.
For what that’s worth.
But did the New World err
in flattening Heaven
to speed up Earth?
in foreign TV drama:
the promises at funerals
more jazzily elaborate.
For what that’s worth.
But did the New World err
in flattening Heaven
to speed up Earth?
Labels: Earth, faith, foreign TV, funeral, heaven, New World, religion
Tuesday, October 23, 2012
The Bore of the True Way
So Johnny One-Note
coming to the party?
Well then I ain’t! Else-
where, nobody preaches,
and chromatic folks try
laughing at themselves.
Almost a recipe
for good times. Or
Heaven. Diatonics
gravely loved
in the other.
So Johnny One-Note
coming to the party?
Well then I ain’t! Else-
where, nobody preaches,
and chromatic folks try
laughing at themselves.
Almost a recipe
for good times. Or
Heaven. Diatonics
gravely loved
in the other.
Labels: chromatic, diatonic, heaven, Hell, ideology, Music, tolerance
Sunday, September 16, 2012
Afterlife
He knew Hell, like, already.
From the sour sonabitch
who ruined worklife every
black morning: Harangue or bit-
ter saw vibrating even now. Can
the feathered flits drown such by
winging it? Providing raw music
to dance athwart till he detects
a partner loose enough
for Paradise?
Wednesday, August 08, 2012
Lying, Hypocrisy, Pose, Gall, Conceit!
Like we’re all innocent?
So what
that the politician
more magnificent?
When at the deadly
curtain, he thrusts
you from the spotlight,
God hears of his feistiness
and laughingly approves.
You’re brought up,
He nods absently.
Labels: heaven, modesty, politics
